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Motherhood is hell

(70 Posts)
Janos Fri 04-Mar-05 10:27:46

I really liked this article - I thought it was honest and refreshing.

What it's really like being a mum..

Managed to read it while my baby son was having a nap

dinosaur Fri 04-Mar-05 11:25:39

Well, I just don't agree with her! For me, the time when I was on maternity leave with my DS1 was probably the happiest time of my life to date.

GhostofNatt Fri 04-Mar-05 11:27:56

And me - it was hard but i really was very happy.

Mothernature Fri 04-Mar-05 11:30:28

Some cope, some don't, nobody said it was easy, but life is like that. I probably would have said something similar when I had mine at first but hey it just like giving birth you forget as the days go by..

frogs Fri 04-Mar-05 11:32:08

I disagree with the article too! I've loved being at home with my babies, and am daily grateful that working at home means I can be there for the older ones after school. Yes, sometimes they drive me slightly insane, and sometimes I wish I could take the batteries out for 24 hours, but I've never regretted it, and never think back longingly to my pre-child days.

HunkerMunker Fri 04-Mar-05 11:33:18

I had days like Nadia Sawalha describes. Yes, DS makes me very very happy, and I wouldn't swap him for the world, but there were days when I wanted to curl in a ball and sleep, when my heart sank when he woke up from a nap because I'd have to drag my exhausted body to see to him. It's better now, but I do still get times when I just want the day to be over so I get it right the next day. And DS is an extremely good baby, a real delight - he rarely cries and even when he does, you can usually get him to laugh at something - I have no idea what I'd have done if I'd had a cry-y cross baby!

Gobbledigook Fri 04-Mar-05 11:34:18

Ditto Frogs

GhostofNatt Fri 04-Mar-05 11:36:13

I do sometimes wonder whether people who find it relentless hell (as opposed to occasionally overwhelming and impossible) just had much more easy and fun lives pre-kids than I did...

snafu Fri 04-Mar-05 11:36:50

I'm afraid that article lost me at the phrase 'conspiracy of silence'. What conspiracy? No one ever told me it was going to be perfect - and it isn't!

dinosaur Fri 04-Mar-05 11:37:17

Yeah, I wonder that too! I used to be a corporate lawyer, and had to deal with lots of clients who were far more demanding and only marginally more reasonable than a six month old baby!

GhostofNatt Fri 04-Mar-05 11:37:48

Hmm grammar, should be "easier and more fun", no that's not right

dinosaur Fri 04-Mar-05 11:38:02

Absolutely! What bloody conspiracy of silence!

Surely, if there is one thing you know about babies before you have one yourself, it is that they cry! Lots!

GhostofNatt Fri 04-Mar-05 11:39:31

Maybe it's a kind of payoff for having super-stressful job, dinosaur? Also always thought was much more stressy person than most people I know but maybe because I assumed the worst, it was actually a million types more plesaurable than I imagined...

dinosaur Fri 04-Mar-05 11:41:33

What did you do in your child-free time GoN?

Pamina3 Fri 04-Mar-05 11:42:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oatcake Fri 04-Mar-05 11:43:02

snafu, agree. everyone tells you it's sheer hell and hard work, yet we do, and will continue to, produce babies right left and centre.

until you've got that baby, you've no idea how you'll cope. However, women who say that it won't change their lifestyle possibly need a bit of a reality check

only glanced at the article, but yeah, agree with most of it...

cat82 Fri 04-Mar-05 11:43:04

What a brilliant artical I could be Nadia Sawhala!

MrsDoolittle Fri 04-Mar-05 11:44:01

Maybe it's true but I can't relate to it. I loved my maternity leave. I have been back at work full-time over six months and at times that has been very hard, the switching roles of ambitious professional/mummy.
Having said all that, I am aware that some women find it very hard and I count myself very lucky that I love it so much.

moonshine Fri 04-Mar-05 11:44:09

I don't believe there's a conspiracy of silence but at the same time there has been no book or person in the world that has been able to convey the total bliss and hell motherhood has been so far - experience alone has shown me this.

HunkerMunker Fri 04-Mar-05 11:45:42

I don't think there's a conspiracy of silence, only overly-optimistic pregnant for the first-timers

I knew it was going to be hard work, I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I am tbh. I still cannot believe I made a person I'm considerably more laid-back about things now than I was pre-baby though.

beansprout Fri 04-Mar-05 11:46:30

Was anyone really under the impression that it is a walk in the park??
I don't like the "this is how it really is" tone. Why can't it be how it is for some people?

I have had days when I have burst into tears when dp left for work and other days where I just want ds to wake up so I can hold him. I haven't had PND and don't underestimate how hard that must be but please let's not suggest that we should be told that it is really going to be awful!

dinosaur Fri 04-Mar-05 11:46:43

Moonshine I do agree that nothing totally prepares you for it. It is a shock. I guess I am just lucky in that in my case it was a very pleasant sort of shock. I felt that my Ds1 brought meaning to my life and pattern to my days. I always felt, and still feel, that I owe him far far more than he could ever owe me.

scampadoodle Fri 04-Mar-05 11:48:07

I'm with Janos. Have just read the article & it rings a lot of bells with me - & no, I wasn't particularly high-flying before I had kids. I feel inadequate as a mother all the time.

dinosaur Fri 04-Mar-05 11:48:59


MrsDoolittle Fri 04-Mar-05 11:49:01

I like your styl, dinosaur

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