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Can you all help me with MN etiquette please

(25 Posts)
TheVillageIdiot Tue 01-Mar-05 15:15:41


I need some help - well rather just a bit of experience

I wrote a profile and I've jumped in and out of threads but I'm struggling a little with what's acceptable and what's not.

I get a bit confused cos there are some threads that are obviously fun but some seem to be ok and others not. I think I've posted on both types cos I thought they were lighthearted but I don't really want to get off on the wrong foot. I also got a bit paranoid that my name choice was strange (which is also just a bit of fun). I will change my name if it's a problem

I really like this site and want to fit in but I just don't get it, there seems to be a lighthearted thread and then someone protests and it's all goes a bit wrong. Can you help me? I don't know if it's just me but it seems very tense and I feel a bit cautious of posting

heeeeellllpp please

Yorkiegirl Tue 01-Mar-05 15:21:43

Message withdrawn

TheVillageIdiot Tue 01-Mar-05 15:22:01

Ok so maybe I should've given the thread a dodgy title to get people interested

TheVillageIdiot Tue 01-Mar-05 15:22:37

sorry yorkiegirl posts crossed... Oh I'm so good at first impressions...

alicatsg Tue 01-Mar-05 15:23:56

Its very like real life - the tone of conversations changes. Guess for a quiet life you have to think "would I say that to her/his face" before posting.

Generally people are really welcoming and open, and even if they do have a go you shouldn't take it too much to heart - we're all past masters at posting without thinking!!

Miaou Tue 01-Mar-05 15:26:47

TVI - really, don't worry about it. I've been using mumsnet for about a year now, and I've seen these spats occasionally arise then everything calms down again. I always feel sorry for the "newies" who come along in the middle of a funny few days and wonder what on earth is going on! Ride it out - we're lovely people 99.9% of the time - and as seasoned oldster Yorkiegirl says, say what you want and as long as it's not too controversial, you won't suffer for it.

PS I like your nickname too!

Yorkiegirl Tue 01-Mar-05 15:29:29

Message withdrawn

Toothache Tue 01-Mar-05 15:31:35

I love your nickname!! I've been on MN for more than 2 years and like Miaou says it's just a phase. Most of the time everyone is quite mellow and mature!

It blows over. You shouldn't have to feel like you try really hard to fit in. There's a real variety of people that post here. You;ll get to know some well and you'll probably make a few cyber friends, but most of all you'll get fantastic advice whenever you need it!

nailpolish Tue 01-Mar-05 15:33:58

i think mn etiquette is the same thing as good manners in RL, no?

wobblyknicks Tue 01-Mar-05 15:34:03

I have one rule of conduct I follow - grit your teeth, don't be deliberately offensive, try to be nice when the situation demands, say what you think and stick to it

Enid Tue 01-Mar-05 15:35:29

i agree with wobblynicks although sometimes i am deliberately provocative (I like to think not offensive)

Miaou Tue 01-Mar-05 15:37:43

Yorkiegirl - couldn't resist

Yorkiegirl Tue 01-Mar-05 15:39:23

Message withdrawn

Marina Tue 01-Mar-05 15:40:43

Welcome TVI. Can't really improve on the advice you've had here but I am a meek and seasoned fence-sitter, and completely crap at participating in quick-fire jokey threads. You sound as though you might be well up for that kind of participation, but one of the many joys of Mumsnet is there is room for many, many kinds of parent and parenting discussion. Enjoy!

Miaou Tue 01-Mar-05 15:41:50

YG I thought you'd been around much longer than that!

snafu Tue 01-Mar-05 15:42:33

TVI - don't fret, we're lovely really!

Anything is acceptable as long as it's not deliberately insulting. Badly-executed cybersex gets rather short shrift, too We like a good old heated debate here, as you'll see, but most of the time it's pretty civilised. As nailpolish said, MN etiquette is just good manners, really. Just dive in!

Marina Tue 01-Mar-05 15:47:58

Oh, and impersonating a lawyer, bereaved parent or even person of the opposite sex is a bit beyond the pale too!

TheVillageIdiot Tue 01-Mar-05 15:53:18

Thanks everyone.

I understand that it's just good manners etc but I've read a couple of threads on here yesterday and today and a 1 liner has flown into my head, I've typed it and then thought 'oh actually better not' because although I wouldn't have hesitated to say it in rl. People in rl know me and I think tone and that cheeky glint in your eye can make all the difference between a comment made as a joke and a comment made as a put down iykwim. Does that makes sense? I don't know. Just noticed that some people get away with it and others don't.

I will make a note to myself - do not enter into badly executed cyber sex on MN. What about if it's well executed though?

TheVillageIdiot Tue 01-Mar-05 15:55:19

further note to self:
don't impersonate men. Actually I don't think it's high on my "list of things to do before I'm 30" Well not on the internet anyway

WigWamBam Tue 01-Mar-05 16:17:52

We're all quite nice really, it's just been a strained couple of days. You'll soon suss out which are the contentious topics and which are the ones to avoid unless you want to end up in the middle of a slanging match!

PuffTheMagicDragon Tue 01-Mar-05 16:20:42

As I've said before, I love your name, don't you dare go changing it !

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Tue 01-Mar-05 16:24:35

Welcome TVI. Enjoy mumsnet. I often post what pops into my head and have had to apologise coz what would sound funny/ironic in rl doesn't translate into print. When in doubt don't I suppose, but as others have said you'll soon make some cyber friends and they'll understand your humour. I remember coming online once and it seemed like they were all taking the p*ss out of someone. They weren't. They were all mucking about and continuing on a joke that had started the day before. Anyway, take the rough with the smooth and enjoy.

NomDePlume Tue 01-Mar-05 16:28:18

FWIW, I don't see what possible offence your name can cause.....

TheVillageIdiot Tue 01-Mar-05 16:51:55

Ok, well I'm fairly sensitive but I'll try not to take things to heart!

nightowl Wed 02-Mar-05 03:33:56

tvi...its not usually this scary! there are weeks like this when everything seems to go pear shaped but i think the good outweighs the bad when you stick around long enough! im really sensitive too but have survived for over a year! just now i think everyone is feeling a bit defensive and things creep into lighthearted threads sometimes if someone is a bit riled about a different thread. its not a constant thing here honestly. there are certain subjects which i guess will always get people's backs up (no doubt youve seen them!)itll blow over though! (and dont worry about fitting in, methinks i am the resident mn loner-wierdo but ive still made friends!).

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