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How can I stop this stupid ridiculous embarassing crying I do when I get frustrated, nervous or angry????

(18 Posts)
MadreInglese Wed 01-Oct-08 11:41:18

I cry

It does my head in

If I feel stressed or frustrated I just cry, stupid great big sobs where I make attractive gulping and snorting noises and I can't catch my breath

I hate it because it looks like I'm upset but I'm not upset and I get a load of sympathy but I don't need sympathy because I'm not upset arrrgghhhhh

I did it the first time I went to give blood, it was like I'd built it up so much that it overflowed into tears. The giving blood itself was fine but the nurses must have thought I was a loon! Once I did it at work when I'd had a really really shite day. Last night at the end of a really tough role play I did it too (am doing Samaritans training), I think because I went last so I had the 'pleasure' of watching 10 others do it and I got more and more wound up and nervous. The role play itself went really well but I blubbed afterwards blush

It feels like a real weakness because I know it looks like I'm turning on the waterworks for sympathy and that's not the case, but the more I try not to when I'm wound up, the louder I snort!! It's like some bizarre crying panic attack. I feel calm in my brain but it's like my body has other ideas!

Does anyone else do this or am I the only nutter who does? I am normally very calm and collected which is why I hate it more I guess.

Any ideas?

(other than gin smile)

Oh god I do this shock. I think I suffer from emotional incontinence hmm, no advice but I try and take lots of deep breaths and count to ten etc.

Lauriefairycake Wed 01-Oct-08 11:49:37

It's not a weakness and the key to this is to accept yourself and who you are. You are crying because you are so calm and collected - emotion needs a way to get out and your brain has chosen this way. If you were more emotional and more open to expression (whatever it was) in every day life then it would not be so uncontrollable.

Nice to hear you're doing your Sams training - I'm a Sam too smile

Flamesparrow Wed 01-Oct-08 11:49:46

oh god me too - When I didn't get a decent bonus which I felt was unfair, I calmly worked out my defence, went to talk to my boss, and everything came out in big squeaky tears blush

Swedes Wed 01-Oct-08 11:51:21

If you bite your tongue, literally, it's impossible to cry.

mindalina Wed 01-Oct-08 11:53:03

It sounds a bit daft and basic and you may well have tried it already, but I find the best way to stop tears is to tilt my head back and inhale deeply through my nose - clears the tears from my eyes which helps me get a bit of a grip.

Good on you for your Samaritans training - I got myself in a bit of state last night and phoned them and the woman I spoke to was lovely and really helped me calm down

MadreInglese Wed 01-Oct-08 11:54:43

Oh I'm so glad it's not just me!

when I say calm and collected please don't think frigid ice-queen, I'm normally fairly average in the emotional display stakes

fullmoonfiend Wed 01-Oct-08 11:57:15

I can cope with huge crises and high pressure and all sorts. But I cry really really easily and am very over-empathic (so I cry for other peoplke too...)In fact I'm welling up now identifying with your post grin

I work in an environment with often upsetting stories and scenarios so I have had to toughen up as far as that goes. but I am still emotionally infcontinent in my personal life.

(I cried in front of ds's teachers once. It was mortifying)

brimfull Wed 01-Oct-08 12:02:01

will you start crying when you take a call with samaritans ?

brimfull Wed 01-Oct-08 12:02:54

sorry but am picturing a little britain sketch here

brimfull Wed 01-Oct-08 12:03:28

sorry grin

stealthsquiggle Wed 01-Oct-08 12:04:59

I do this - makes confrontations at work v. hard. Also at all school events and parents evenings. When someone comes up with the miracle cure do let me know grin

Niecie Wed 01-Oct-08 12:11:19

I can relate as well.

I cry when I get cross or having an argument - really annoying as it is difficult to get your point across when you have liquid pouring out of every facial orifice. I could never be a barrister.

Doesn't happen often with DH but you can see on his face that he thinks I am crying for effect and for the sympathy vote rather than because I can't help it. I get told off being over emotional when I don't feel emotional at all, just common or garden angry!

Mind you I cry easily when I am laughing too. Anything beyond slightly amusing and I start to well up. People must think I am bonkers.

So no help, only sympathy I am afraid.
No ideas to help

jojosmaman Wed 01-Oct-08 12:21:40

Pinch your armpit- it does work but may not be a good look if you a sat in a meeting!

MadreInglese Wed 01-Oct-08 12:34:25

ggirl, no I won't, LOL

I don't think it was the call that did it, just having to do it last and in front of loads of people (very aware I was being assessed), I had just worked myself up I think

And I was fine at the time, it was afterwards, like a release of pressure (have also given blood loads after the first time and never even sniffed since, let alone blubbed)

(what is the little britain sketch? missed that one)

do you think if I tilt my head back, look up, bite my tongue and pinch my armpit I'll look more or less bonkers than if I stick to the crying? smile

brimfull Wed 01-Oct-08 13:53:30

sorry meant it would make a good l little britain sketch

smurfgirl Wed 01-Oct-08 14:00:28

I do it and it makes life really hard doesn't it.

Recently I have completely mucked some stuff up because of my tears sad People think I am really unstable and dead upset when really i am ok and only a little bit upset its just I am a bit cryer. And the more I say it the more I can see them thinking hmm

I just try reallllllly hard not to, lots of deep breaths, i poke my eyes a bit to wipe the beginning tears away.

MadreInglese Wed 01-Oct-08 14:03:12

<chuckles at ggirl>

Well it certainly makes me feel much better that I'm not the only loon that does this smile

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