I feel awful Ds1 (8 in a couple of weeks) is driving me mad. He sets my teeth on edge - I feel like the world's worst Mum. We have always been so close but now I hardly seem to know him. He is so silly all the time. He's just come out of school and he was grating on me before we even got out of the school gates. He does this thing where he makes up a nonsensical word - it's "nada" tonight, and just says it over and over and over again in various stupid voices. Trying to start a conversation is met with more silly voices and silly walks. And he's developed this really irritating cackle - that's the only way I can describe it, it's not laughing. I grit my teeth together to refrain from saying anything. He winds ds2 up to fever pitch the second we get in through the front door - they end up both running round just shrieking while I try and get dinner ready. Someone always ends up in tears. I end up bellowing like a maniac.
What has gone wrong? I love him to pieces. I go in and look at him when he's asleep and he's still my baby and my heart melts. But when he's awake he drives me crazy.
The worst thing of all is that he's noticing - he asked me the other day if I still loved him because I seem to be angry all the time . He also thinks I favour his little brother. Which in a terrible way is true - 3 year olds are easier to like than 8 year olds. Ds2 and I have (mostly) nice peaceful days together, pottering around, doing stuff, and then it all goes pear shaped at 3 pm.
I'm ashamed to put my name to this What can I do? I remember when I was pregnant with ds2 thinking I could not possibly love another child as much as ds1 - it never occured to me I might "go off" ds1. Help...
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I'm a terrible Mum - finding it really hard to like ds1 atm.
64 replies
marthamoo · 28/02/2005 15:33
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