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I'm a bit shocked. GP just yelled at my 6 year old dd!

(142 Posts)
handlemecarefully Fri 12-Sep-08 18:38:35

Have just been to see the doctor. Had 4 year old and 6 year old with me - I'm trying to describe things as objectively as possible:

I sat down and the two children both tried to sit on the one chair next to me and squabbled - I had stern words and they pretty much immediately stopped (took about 30 seconds). They then went over to the box of toys. We started the consultation...

3 minutes into the consultation dd came up to me having made a cat from lego and started to interrupt me (wanted to show me the cat) whilst I was talking to the doctor.

I was about to give her short shrift for interrupting, and to tell her to wait when, before I had the opportunity the Doctor erupted with:

SIT DOWN IMMEDIATELY AND DON'T INTERRUPT. I AM TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER!!!!

DD open and closed her mouth in shock a few times and then dissolved into floods of tears. I was a bit shocked and simply put my arm around her whilst trying to resume the conversation. The Doctor said nothing but looked a bit uncomfortable.

I have no issue with the content of what the doctor said but full scale bellowing shock. It was very heavy handed.

The doctor concerned is in his thirties and has young children of his own. He has always been pleasant on the two or three other occasions I have seen him. I imagine he must have had a very crappy day, but nevertheless he behaved inappropriately. The children weren't acting like little feral beasts

Not sure whether to just leave this or not....an RL friend thinks I should complain...I'm a bit torn because there is no real harm done, dd won't be scarred for life grin...(she has just asked me to promise that we will never see him again if we have to go to the doctors in future),but on the other hand he was very wrong.

MatNanPlus Fri 12-Sep-08 18:41:51

I would write a letter explaining the incident, your initial thoughts and feelings and how you feel about it now, your dd's response then and now and send to him and to the practice manager, i really don't care if he had, had a bad day it was unprofessional and hardly gives you or DD & DS confidence if they are feeling unwell.

LynetteScavo Fri 12-Sep-08 18:45:01

He was wrong.

I wouldn't complian.

I might even prefer this aproach, than my GP saying through gritted teeth "they're just behaving like ordinary children".hmm At least I could have got on with the consultation.

twoluvlykids Fri 12-Sep-08 18:46:33

i would write too,to practice manager.We had a doctor - I never found him unpleasant,but he had a habit of looking at people over the tops of his glasses,and even now,many years later, dd still remembers him "making her toes curl" with fright when she was about 18 months.

Sounds like your doctor needs to see a doctor.

handlemecarefully Fri 12-Sep-08 18:46:49

Well sure Lynette - but I think I could have got on with the consultation anyway without his bellowing episode. They mostly listen to me and do as I ask them grin

ahundredbiros Fri 12-Sep-08 18:47:01

Oh don't complain. He snapped and shouted, it's not the end of the world.

I'm sure everyone will survive without permanent psychological damage.

edam Fri 12-Sep-08 18:49:20

Bet next time you see him he'll be really embarrassed. Very rude of him but sounds like he'd had a crappy day and just over-reacted.

Soapbox Fri 12-Sep-08 18:49:21

TBH I think you lost your opportunity to say something while you were in the consultation.

If it was unreasonable enough to complain after the fact then in reality it needed a response there and then.

A sharp 'don't shout at my children' would have been enough.

No lasting damage has been done. So on that basis, I would just leave it.

Twiglett Fri 12-Sep-08 18:49:27

I'd leave it

Did you tell your DD that yes the doctor was wrong to shout but you were wrong to interrupt?

frumpygrumpy Fri 12-Sep-08 18:49:32

IMHO, its never, ever, the right thing for someone else to discpline your child when you are right there.

Maybe he'd had a bad day.
Maybe he's seen this all before.
Maybe.
But it would make no difference to me. Personally, I would have told him right there and then that I was unhappy and explained that the consultation was over and that I would expect him to find me someone else to talk to.

As you say, he could have said it. But certainly not shouted it.

A man had a go at my DTs in the supermarket the other day for picking up apples (I was getting the bag to put them in...) I told them in a loud voice that some people get awful grumpy when you touch things you are not going to buy but that they were just fine.

"AND ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" is my favourite in-head thought.

Beetroot Fri 12-Sep-08 18:49:35

just put it down to expereince

handlemecarefully Fri 12-Sep-08 18:50:39

Yes I am quite sure they will ahundredbiros, but that kind of isn't the point....

combustiblemelon Fri 12-Sep-08 18:51:27

He was trying to do his job. You took the children in with you for your convenience. He overreacted to their second interuption. End of story.

handlemecarefully Fri 12-Sep-08 18:52:54

"Did you tell your DD that yes the doctor was wrong to shout but you were wrong to interrupt? "

Yes I did Twiglett. I told her that I wasn't happy with the doctor for yelling like that, but also her own behaviour fell short of desirable and that she knows it is rude to interrupt etc.... She accepted that she had been wrong

ahundredbiros Fri 12-Sep-08 18:53:16

Well what is the point then? If they are unaffected, and presumably you can actually cope with a tetchy, bad-tempered GP once then what exactly are you planning on complaining about?

I think you are over-reacting.

TheFallenMadonna Fri 12-Sep-08 18:54:56

Although I agree with the others, I'm a bit surprised at how this is going.

Hope you're OK HMC.

ahundredbiros Fri 12-Sep-08 18:56:20

Yes, because you've been through a real proper trauma HMC hmm

JuneBugJen Fri 12-Sep-08 18:57:18

sometimes I wish someone would shout at dd when she is being a pain in the arse in an important situation. She only seems to listen to other people!!

handlemecarefully Fri 12-Sep-08 18:57:42

Soapbox, I didn't say anything there and then because I was actually reeling with shock...a sort of 'where the hell did that come from???' shock

Well I did ask the Practice Manager for a complaint form and alluded to the problem with the Doctor - but I haven't decided on whether to fill it in and return it (...I am sort of leaning toward not sending it)..She will doubtless have told him that I requested a complaints form, so I guess that might be enough to make him think and reflect

handlemecarefully Fri 12-Sep-08 18:58:32

Oh fgs ahundredbiros, put your talons away

Upwind Fri 12-Sep-08 18:58:35

Maybe you should seek a referral for counselling to help you and your DC recover from your DD being told off.

ahundredbiros Fri 12-Sep-08 18:58:35

[slaps hand to forehead]

ahundredbiros Fri 12-Sep-08 18:59:11

[scratches self]

Oh I've hardly got my talons out. I am quite blunt. But listen to yourself fgs.

combustiblemelon Fri 12-Sep-08 19:00:13

I'm waiting for the thread in a couple of weeks- "My GP has banned patients from taking children into consultations unless they're actually the patient. How am I supposed to get seen by a doctor?"

TheFallenMadonna Fri 12-Sep-08 19:00:40

Actually onehundredbiros, I was referring to her needing to see her GP, rather than events during the appointment. I am hoping that she isn't feeling too ill, rather than traumatised.

hmm back at ya.

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