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To think that a child of almost eleven should really not still be sharing a bed with her parents?

(68 Posts)
MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Sep-08 18:55:02

Every night. No SN. Apart from the fact that this is just plain weird, what must it do for the parents' sex life?

misdee Sat 06-Sep-08 18:56:09

do the parents have a problem with it?

aGalChangedHerName Sat 06-Sep-08 18:57:17

I love co-sleeping and have done it with all 4 of mine.

However i would not want to be sharing a bed with my 11 year old!!

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Sep-08 18:58:32

Misdee - the father definitely does!

bobsyouruncle Sat 06-Sep-08 18:59:34

Oh god this is scaring me as we co-sleep with ds (4) and I thought it wouldn't go on for much longer!?

Soapbox Sat 06-Sep-08 19:02:04

My DD is 10yo and only occasionally comes into bed with us now, usually only if something is bothering her. I cannot imagine why it would be unacceptable for her to sleep with us if she wants to!

If she was a more troubled child, she would sleep with us more no doubt, and I would never deny her the comfort that she was seeking from us.

ds1 who is 8 always wants to sleep in our bed if dh is away.
he knows it is no go otherwise-there just isn't space!

4andnotout Sat 06-Sep-08 19:04:12

My parents joked that when i got married i would still have to come home and sleep in their bed everynight as i used to sleepwalk into the bottom of their bed until i was about 13-14! Infact i shared a bed with my mum the day dd1 was born when i was 19!

cornsilk Sat 06-Sep-08 19:04:33

Does she stay there all night? Do they move her when she's asleep?

nell12 Sat 06-Sep-08 19:05:31

If a child is 11 and has no SN... then they need to be able to be emotionally mature enough to be able to sleep by themselves in their own bed...

Of course they should be allowed to jump into bed with mum and dad on the odd occasion; if needing comfort etc,

But every night?

hmm

Overmydeadbody Sat 06-Sep-08 19:06:27

Sex life isn't confined to the bedroom or bed though is it?

MrsTittleMouse Sat 06-Sep-08 19:10:42

When you have children it's usually confined to the bedroom though, isn't it? And if she's 11 the chances are that she's started/starting to go through puberty herself. hmm

allgonebellyup Sat 06-Sep-08 19:13:20

my ds has always slept with me, and he is at school now.
God help me if he is still in my bed at 11.

policywonk Sat 06-Sep-08 19:17:27

I don't see why anyone should have a problem with this if the family is happy with it. All over the world, entire families share sleeping spaces. Happened in the UK until relatively recently, unless you were wealthy. Sex needn't be the #1 priority in family life.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Sep-08 19:18:19

All night, every night. She won't sleep on her own. She came here for a sleepover once and ended up sharing a bed with DD1 who was not impressed.

No problem with the occasional visit to the bedroom, but every night, at 11? hmm

TheFallenMadonna Sat 06-Sep-08 19:18:52

If the dad isn't happy with it then there is a problem. Clearly.

Overmydeadbody Sat 06-Sep-08 19:20:06

Agree with policywonk.

If the father has a problem with it, then they need to resolve the issue.

But if he didn't have a problem with it it's not actually wrong is it?

Is it MrsTittle? It isn't for me.

OrmIrian Sat 06-Sep-08 19:24:36

Not something I'd like particuarly. Long term anyway. Sometimes my 9yr old comes into bed with us and there isn't enough room these days.

We coslept with all of ours for a while. And all of them went to sleep in our bed and then were transferred to their own later, until they were all 4 I suppose.

The sex question always rears it's head when co-sleeping is mentioned. As if bed, at night time is the only place for it - actually it's my least favourite time and not my favourite place.

mumblechum Sat 06-Sep-08 19:25:06

It sounds v v odd to me. Sounds like the mum maybe still wants to treat the girl as a baby. How is she otherwise? Very clingy?

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Sep-08 19:28:56

I don't think she's particularly clingy, no. But she won't sleep unless they're there with her. Her mother goes up and stays with her until she's asleep, and if they're not up there within the hour, in bed with her, she wakes up and comes downstairs to find them.

MrsTittleMouse Sat 06-Sep-08 19:30:07

I can understand liking variety in time and place. I just don't understand how it's possible to have the time and privacy when you have small children. Except when you ship them off to the grandparents of course. wink

nell12 Sat 06-Sep-08 20:51:51

It is scary to think that an 11 y-o with no sn needs company to get to sleep and then will not sleep on her own.

How will she cope with school trips? sleep-over parties?

Her poor mum to have to be with her every night till she goes to sleep... do her parents ever get to have an evening out together? I can see why her dad is getting a bit miffed

Not a very healthy family dynamic imho

morocco Sat 06-Sep-08 20:53:45

none of anyone else business really, is it?

LaDiDaDi Sat 06-Sep-08 20:55:31

I wouldn't be happy if that was what was happening in my house tbh. It sounds like this behaviour has given the girl huge control over her parents lives.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 06-Sep-08 20:56:14

No, absolutely none of my business, but that doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on it, does it?

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