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Anyone ever used a life/career coach?

(45 Posts)
Bumperlicious Mon 01-Sep-08 14:33:10

Just wondering if anyone has ever used a life or a career coach?

I am feeling very adrift, like a ball of simmering energy just desperate to do something with my life, I'm not sure if it's a change in career I need or just some creative direction. I'm just feeling very frustrated and it ends up just driving me into lethargy.

Has anyone found one any use? Or any other tips? Books or something? How much does it cost?

Mamazon Mon 01-Sep-08 14:34:25

no. i don't get them. what is it they are meant to do?

i saw an ad for a programme about some screatchy fake tanned couple who were meant to be celeb life coachs.

i just dont get it.

branflake81 Mon 01-Sep-08 14:42:38

What Mamazon said.

How can some random stranger know more about what is best for you and your life than you do?

You just need to have the confidence to make positive decisions and changes. What those are is up to you, no one else can answer that.

RubyRioja Mon 01-Sep-08 14:43:11

I use mates and MN

Cappuccino Mon 01-Sep-08 14:44:39

I do know someone who has

they decided that counselling was getting them nowhere and what they really needed was a boot up the arse

they seemed v happy with it

MrsWeasley Mon 01-Sep-08 14:46:27

I know a life coach and I asked her what she did and after she explained I said "so for example, if I came to you and told you I need to lose weight and sort my house out. You would basically tell me to get off my fat bum and eat less and clean more?"
She smiled and said yes but I'd say it with lots of nice encouraging words. grin

MrsWeasley Mon 01-Sep-08 14:49:14

RubyRioja: That about sums it up. Previously people would tell their friends or family what they wanted to acheive and they would encourage them but these days people are obsessed with wanting to look prefect to their mates or they dont have the friendship circles that allow that kind of chat!

Bumperlicious Mon 01-Sep-08 14:50:31

I guess just getting some objective advice from someone is useful. I can't talk about what I do on MNet so can't really get career advice. I also assume that careers advisers have information and ideas that people who aren't as specialised have.

Just thinking about it really. I've got to do something to change my life, just not sure what.

squeaver Mon 01-Sep-08 14:50:56

For some people they can be good. Dh saw a good careers-based one and it really helped him . But I happen to know someone who is a life-coach and her own life is a huge, sorry mess. If anyone knew her personal circumstances they would NEVER entrust their deepest hopes and fears to her.

So my advice would be: get a personal recommendation or find your most practical, organised, say-it-like-it-is friend, open a couple of bottles of wine and get on with it.

That'll be £300 please grin

Cappuccino Mon 01-Sep-08 14:51:39

I have read magazine articles though saying "If you're feeling down at the end of a tough day, ring your friends and offload your problems"

and then without a trace of irony, articles the next month saying "Dump the toxic friends who ring and offload their problems"

Bumperlicious Mon 01-Sep-08 14:52:56

'these days people are obsessed with wanting to look prefect to their mates or they dont have the friendship circles that allow that kind of chat'

That's not a problem I have though. I just don't know what it is that I want to do, or what I'd be good at.

squeaver Mon 01-Sep-08 14:53:17

Bumper - most of the careers ones won't be able to say "try this specific job in this specific industry/sector". They'll tell you e.g. you area a hard-nosed money-grabbing bastard, go and work in the City or you really care more about people than earning money, go and retrain in the medical profession.

Cappuccino Mon 01-Sep-08 14:53:24

squeaver though I don't doubt that disorganised people can be good at organising others

I've know plenty of people who are very good at organising their work life and then come home and not have a clue

Mamazon Mon 01-Sep-08 14:55:55

why can't you talk abotu what you do on MN?

is you a sleb?

Bumperlicious Mon 01-Sep-08 14:56:38

The thing is, I am normally that person, I am a trouble-shooter. If people said that sort of thing to me I would be "right, lets make lists, get on the internet, blah blah blah" but I just don't know what it is that I need to do to fill a hole in my life. I feel like I have unfulfilled potential. I'm bright, motivated, sociable, so why am I on a treadmill of watching trashy TV, reading trashy books, feeling unintelligent yet not being able to find the motivation to improve myself due to not really knowing in what direction I want to go.

RubyRioja Mon 01-Sep-08 14:57:31

Does your work make you happy?
Is your family situation what you want?
Where would you like to be in 1 year or 5 years (approx!)

RubyRioja Mon 01-Sep-08 14:59:25

In that case, maybe the direction is not the most important thing atm.

Maybe choosing something (anything) training for a longish run, studying for something, tackling a project would get you started on something that can only be achieved in increments.

Once you feel you can tackle something in slices, your direction may be clearer.

Ker ching - another £300 please

poppy34 Mon 01-Sep-08 14:59:43

yep used a career one -fantastically helpful and insightful when you are looking for new motivation or direction. The cost about £300 per session... not sure if books would repalce her as she was very customised -using business knowledge and counselling skills to marry up what it is taht makes you tick with what is right.wrong for you in your job.

And re friends..all very well but you ahve to remember that people have their own agenda - the thing abotu a decent career coach is that they shoudl be neutral.

not sure about life coach though -always wondered why you would use one of those rather than going to see a proper therapist if you really felt need?

PuppyMonkey Mon 01-Sep-08 15:00:37

I've seen one as part of the job I do kind of thing. Can't go into it here.

She was very nice and just listened to me for an hour. Bit like therapy. But she didn't tell me what I should be doing, she just had a way of asking questions which made me see what I ought to be doing and really wanted to do. This was followed up by loads of emails and phone etc...

I have to say she really made me get off my arse and sort some things out. Not life or death things, you know. Just things that really made a difference.

I wouldn't pay for one though!!! wink

poppy34 Mon 01-Sep-08 15:00:52

and yes bumperlicious if you choose one who knows your industry they should be able to give decent advice - that is career coach.

echo what rest said on life coach-dont need them when have mn!

squeaver Mon 01-Sep-08 15:01:21

Oh yes, I know people like that too, capp. But we all know someone who is just a take-charge kind of person in everything they do.

Bumper - I actually know exactly how you feel.

Bumperlicious Mon 01-Sep-08 15:01:37

No mamazon, I wish (well I don't but I wish I was rich and people gave me free stuff!)! It's just not the sort of thing I can talk about online. And it's not the sort of job that is easy to leave, that is even if I wanted to, which I'm not sure I do.

I've just gone back after a baby (well, in April) working part-time, struggling to get back up to speed, feeling like I am disappointing my colleagues, feeling like a cog in a machine rather than something more worthy. I want to be making a difference, y'know?

Cappuccino Mon 01-Sep-08 15:01:50

ok <rubs hands>

have a fortnight off tv - tape everything that you think you will want to watch and then see if you give a toss about it in a fortnight

go to the library and get a novel off the 'just returned' shelf that you would never have read

start today with little stuff, while you're thinking about it

onceinalifetime Mon 01-Sep-08 15:03:54

Bumperlicious, agree with what poppy34 and PuppyMonkey have said. I work in a related field and would normally be very skeptical about this sort of thing but a good career coach will help you identify traits and skills that you have (and may or may not use in your current career) and how you can use them in another role or industry. They won't sit there with a prescriptive list like a school career advisor but will help you start to think about what you're capable of, what you like, etc and will gradually draw the information out of you.

On the practical side, they should also be able to help you present those skills to appeal to the type of employer/client you would be dealing with - in terms of what you say to people, how you come across in interviews, highlighting the right skills and experience in your CV, etc. They should also be able to give you a realistic idea of whether you're likely to succeed in your chosen path, how much you can expect to be paid, etc.

The difficulty is finding someone good - it's a very fragmented industry with everyone from big corporates to individual consultants dishing out advice for varying fees and absolutely no regulation whatsoever. There are some very dubious 'life' coaches out there. You really need to get a personal recommendation. Where do you live?

Cappuccino Mon 01-Sep-08 15:04:51

and I do think whoever said exercise was on the right track

I feel a lot less wiffly when I do my yoga, or when I used to run

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