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Relationship break down and council housing?

(8 Posts)
Charlee Mon 01-Sep-08 07:39:20

My relationship with dp has completley broken down, i wont go ito to many details but we are growing apart he is getting back inot a single mans life more and more everyday i don't particuarly care anymore after several attempts to save this relationship i have decided to call it a day.

My question is, we are in a housing association place, i would be keeping the children here with me with him having regular visits, would the council rehouse him? we are both joint tenency at the moment so i worry they wont as he isnt techinichally homeless. He has no close friends to go to ad the only family member he is in contact with lives far to far away for work.
We don't have the money between us let alone apart to aford a private rent for him or even a hotel for a while.
This is the only thing keeping him here.

I know i sound very cold and unconcerned about the whole thing but all we do is argue at the mo and i dont want it to harm the kids. The final straw was this morning when he threw my ds at me with a bottle becuase he got up a 6am. angry

Anyone have any ideas?

FoghornLeghorn Mon 01-Sep-08 07:45:44

Oh Charlee, sorry things have come to this

I have no idea how these things work but sure someone will be along soon who does

Charlee Mon 01-Sep-08 07:49:33

Thanks FHLH, i hope you and your children are ok.

I am hoping someone will have an answer so i can get things sorted and finally rest.

ThatBigGermanPrison Mon 01-Sep-08 07:59:58

I think you have to grow a callous. He is a grown up. He has to find a room to rent and move into it. Depending on area this will cost between £50 and £120 a week. It's perfectly do-able, but I doubt he's putting a great deal of effort into doing it - would you? Get your local paper and look in there, or have a look on your local Gumtree. The council won't house him.

Sorry it's come to this, but I pretty much went through the same thing 18 months ago. YOu have to leave him to sort himself out, he's not your son.

Charlee Mon 01-Sep-08 08:48:44

I know he should be sorting it out but he plain wont do it, he says why should he loose everything? Which i did tell him he wouldnt i would let him see the kids and have all his stuff but he says why should he loose his home so it has been left up to me.

I don't want to move as my kids have already moved round the world and back and y eldest is disabled so hes had a togh few years as it is.

I feel trapped and i don't know where to turn next.

ThatBigGermanPrison Mon 01-Sep-08 13:06:34

Well, I only managed to get rid of my ex because he hit me, and I called the police.

My advice to you is to talk to your housing officer. He/she will know the protocol. This may mean YOU having to move to get away from him, but better that than living in misery.

I have a great deal of empathy for your situation, Charlee. I sometimes think that I was lucky my ex hit me - I had a legal reason to have him taken away and not let him back in! Until he did that, for about a year before I had been tearing my hair out trying to think of ways to make him go.

TheArmadillo Mon 01-Sep-08 13:09:03

I would get advice from shelter if I was you, and then go to council/HA with what you know.

They will have protocol/proceedures for this, but i would get advice first.

Shelter 0808 800 4444

Milliebee Wed 10-Sep-08 00:32:01

Hi,
I am new to this site, but am in a similar situation. Difference being, I have a joint mortgage with mine. He is controlling, has been mentally abusive, but follows the usual patterns, all apologetic and lovey dovey when he feels threatened, but controlling, sulky, moody etc when he doesn't.

He has completely destroyed any feelings I have towards him, and the relationship / atmosphere is damaging to my children.

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