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Would you leave a 7 & a 9yo on their own in the house and tell them to ring you on your mobile if they need you?

(11 Posts)
Limara Sun 31-Aug-08 13:15:00

Friend of a friend does this, I'm so uncomfortable about this situation. I would NEVER dream of doing this to my dc's and I worry for her children.

Situations where she will do this-

goes to her local pub with them and gives them the house keys to get in when they are tired or had enough or it's late. They walk back on their own.

goes off to have a curry at a local curry house.

She has a new boyfriend who thinks this is normal. I told him I was uncomfortable with this situation and he said the mobile was there if they needed them. He doesn't have children of his own and I think he just doesn't understand.

Iv'e voiced my concerns to her and she says they have been brought up this way and are used to it and they are very responsible.

I have talked about this to a mutual friend and she is concerned that if we do say anything more strongly to her(we both have previously in a more friendly way) she will cut all ties and we will not see her children again or be able to care for and make sure they are ok.

What are your thoughts?

mumblechum Sun 31-Aug-08 13:16:35

No way. Far too young.

TequilaMockinBird Sun 31-Aug-08 13:18:13

shock far too young IMO

solo Sun 31-Aug-08 13:19:54

She's a selfish cow putting her boyfriend and social life before her children. It's out of order, they may be used to it, but that doesn't make it right.

Limara Sun 31-Aug-08 13:40:35

You are saying they are far too young but what would you do?

What can be done?

What yould you say to her? How can you convince her they are too young?

ThinWhiteDuchess Sun 31-Aug-08 13:41:00

Far too young imo.

Quattrocento Sun 31-Aug-08 13:46:51

I started leaving my DCs at home alone when they were 7&9. Never for more than 30 minutes (postoffice/cashpoint/local shop runs so never more than 2 mins away) and always during daylight hours. They know my mobile number and call me if there is a problem. There are also neighbours at hand that they know well.

It sounds as though your friend is leaving them for far longer than that. My suggestion to you is that you point her to the NSPCC website, so that she can appreciate that what she is doing may well in fact be illegal.

serenity Sun 31-Aug-08 14:30:50

I do the same as Quattrocento, but I wouldn't leave them for the length of time indicated in the OP.

They might well be used to it and responsible, but it's not exactly fair. I don't know what you could do though. If the DCs are OK with it then all you can do is just keep an eye on the situation.

Mamazon Sun 31-Aug-08 14:35:02

this is totally wrong in the situations you jhave described.

She would most certainly be investigated if this were reported to SS

Limara Sun 31-Aug-08 15:02:24

Just spoken with the mutual friend and told her that 7 mners have all said it's out of order. She is going to have a chat with her own mum and discuss this situation with her.

The thought of her dc's at home alone is horrible, anything could happen. What if they tried to get hold of their mum on the mobile and she was in a poor reception area?

annh Sun 31-Aug-08 18:24:27

Absolutely not! This seems wrong on so many levels - the walking home alone, letting themselves in, being alone in the house. This is (sadly) not the 50's when this kind of thing was more common or acceptable. Suppose they accidentaly started a fire - would they have time or the presence of mind to call her on the mobile then?! Less dramatically, suppose one of them falls off a sofa, chokes on something?

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