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What on earth do I do?

(6 Posts)
LittleMissFrazzled Fri 29-Aug-08 13:08:57

Hi there.
I don't know if anyone can offer any words of advice or anything helpful but I find myself in a position where I don't know what to do.
My son attends a national sports training academy and a few weeks ago my husband was threatened by a member of staff in front of my son. This was a totally unprovoked 'attack' and both my son and hsuband were left shaken. We took a few days to think about the most constructive way to go about handling this as my main concern was that our son saw that it had been handled with in an appropriate way (whatever way that is). We wrote a letter to the academy director explaining in detail what had happened and asking for them to investigate it.
We received a reply today and I am really shocked with what they have said. I accept that they probably would not have held their hands up and said ok, its a fair cop but.... They have been very clever in that they have not addressed any of the specifics in the letter (e.g. the threats made by the member of staff, the language used etc)and rather have taken the opportunity to tell me where this member of staff has come from career-wise and how many kids they have in the academy. Then they have proceded to say that it was my husband who was threatening the staff. (If you have ever met my husband you would know how ridiculous this allegation is).
So what do I do? I am concerned that this member of staff has acted in such a way to my hubsnad in front of my son - what will he do now that this complaint has gone in. What if he takes it out on my son? Also, I don't expect bottom wiping but I will not have members of staff lying to get out of trouble (3 members of staff have changed their story since the incident, initially coming to support my husband but now claiming the exact opposite). Do I respond and ask them to respond to my specific complaints? Do I go to a solicitor? Does my husband go to the police as we have been advised by a lawyer friend off the record?
My other concern is that my son loves this activity. Part of me wants to pull him out because I don't want him in an environment where such behaviour is tolerated but another part feels very strongly that he needs to stay there because none of this is his fault and why should he suffer?
I am in such a dilemma and not really thinking straight so I don't know if any of this makes sense. I have tried calling my local CAB but no-one was available to talk to me. If anyone has anything constructive they could offer, I really really would appreciate it.

leapinglizzards Fri 29-Aug-08 13:15:01

For your son's sake don't take your husband along, until things have calmed down.

Not sure what else to do. Sounds all very heated. One day your son will be old enough to attend on his own surely.

I don't see why anyone at the academy would hold a grudge against your son for actions outside of his control.

AvenaLife Fri 29-Aug-08 13:22:12

I would avoid them to be honest with you and find somewhere else for your son to go. If they have staff like this working around children I would be very concerned and I would want my child no where near this place, no matter how much he loved it. A member of staff that can not control their anger should not be working with children.

The chances are they would stic together, the staff wouldn't want to rock the boat. If he was threatened and put in fear of an attack then this is classed as assault, you don't have to hit someone to assault them (this is ABH/GBH, not assault, alot of people get it mixed up). As it is assault I would contact the police.

The people involved are hardly going to send you a letter confirming that your husband was threatened by a member of staff as this will open the gates for legal action.

You do need to contact the Police about this.

Blu Fri 29-Aug-08 13:29:48

But what can the police do if the only other witnesses are the members of staff who have now changed their story?

But there may have been other complaints, so a picture could build...

AvenaLife Fri 29-Aug-08 13:33:03

It should be reported so the police have it on file incase this has happened before or could happen again. Were there other witnesses? Parents?

LittleMissFrazzled Fri 29-Aug-08 17:52:08

There was one other parent in the room but as you have quite rightly pointed out, there are going to be more 'witnesses' who are members of staff who, since we have put the letter in, seem to have a completely different recollection of the events.

My concern about going to the police would also be that their attitude would be that there are no witnesses who could corroborate what happened so they would just tell us to go away.

I just don't think that this kind of behaviour is acceptable. If it had been the other way around with my husband acting in this way, I feel sure they would have booted both him and my son out. I also feel at a total loss as to what to do for the best. I guess they are trying to hide behind their name and bully their way out of trouble.....

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