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How much do you miss home?

(35 Posts)
colie Thu 28-Aug-08 21:33:05

For those of you who have moved quite far away. Not sure how many miles would be considered far enough away from where you grew upgrin

I have moved about 300 miles away. I have lived in Merseyside now for 2 years but still miss my friends and family. I am quiet by nature and have not made any friends.

i just really miss having another outlet. As well as leaving my family I have also left my inlaws who have known me for 21 years and I miss having a familiarity with people who have know me over a long period of time.

Dh and I discussed moving back home today and he knows how much I would love it. I think/know we will hopefully within next few years. This got me thinking that maybe others leave their hometown and don't miss it.

What do you's think. Do you's miss, on rainy winter sunday afternoons, being able to go to your parents or in laws for a few hours, especially when kids are going stir crazy. I just miss the support so much that I couldn't imagine
the rest of my life, living it 300 miles away from home.

There is a programme on in the evenings about emigrating and maybe, this has got me thinking even more, about how much I miss home. I don't know if I am abnormal. Do others move away and make a new life, then after a few years being away, it becomes too hard to move back home again.

Any feelings or views would be greatly received.

southeastastra Thu 28-Aug-08 21:34:54

where do you live? i moved away from home for 11 years then moved back, i loved the time away

southeastastra Thu 28-Aug-08 21:35:30

oops where did you live

JT Thu 28-Aug-08 21:38:29

No I don't miss it AT ALL!

I lived in South Manchester most of my life and enjoyed it, then we moved to the Lakes in 2004 and I wonder why we didn't do it sooner.

colie Thu 28-Aug-08 21:45:26

I moved from Glasgow to Liverpool. I really miss not having anyone whom I would ever ask to watch the kids. If I need to go to the dentist, doctors or even hospital I either take the kids or hubby has to take a days holiday. Parents evening, only one of us can go. My kids not growing up with their cousins. Getting lost all the time (though since getting sat nav) not so much now. I just miss home. ~Wish I could get over it.

PeppermintPatty Thu 28-Aug-08 21:46:37

I wouldn't want to move back to my hometown. I didn't really like there when I lived there (a dull northern town with nothing going on)!
And only my dad lives there now, so wouldn't move there for family.
MY mum and 3 siblings all live in different towns. And my inlaws live in another place again.
So I feel like where I live now is my home (I've only lived here for 6 years).

I do miss having family support nearby though especially now I have DD.
And I do get jealous of people I know who have lived in the same place all their lives and have lots of family and friends on their doorstep who help with their LOs, offer free childcare, help with DIY etc. envy

colie Thu 28-Aug-08 21:52:34

Know what you mean about getting envious peppermintpatty.envy I look at the families in my street all having family sunday lunches and at xmas time etc. and feel so lonely.

I certainly didn't appreciate having family and friends living near me. sad

PeppermintPatty Thu 28-Aug-08 22:14:22

Poor you Colie
You've only lived where you are now for a couple of years, its bound to be hard at first. Especially if its the 1st time you've moved away from home. Hopefully it will get better smile
I found the first couple of years here very difficult, and I didn't have DH or DD then, I felt very ALONE. But then cos I was single and childless it was easier to get out and meet people.
Would it be v difficult to move back?

Portofino Thu 28-Aug-08 22:18:55

We moved to another country - but still a 4 hour drive/ferry crossing from home. I've really struggled to meet people though mostly too busy with work/house /dd to worry too much about it. We went back to our home town in Blighty last weekend. I think I am so much more homesick now. It was so great to pop round to my mates house and see how much her kid's had grown. And Sunday lunchtime in in BILs pub....sausage sarnies on the bar, all the regulars popping in. I so wanted to pull up a stool and - never leave...Back again for Xmas maybe....?

schneebly Thu 28-Aug-08 22:22:51

colie I moved from Argyll to Southport one year ago and I don't miss 'home' one bit - isn't that terrible!!? I think it is just because my quality of life is so much better and I find that because I don't se my family that often I actually have more 'quality' time with them iyswim? I have been incredibly lucky to ahve met lots of nice people and made friends very quickly which has made a huge difference - have you met many people?

AbstractMouse Thu 28-Aug-08 23:19:30

Hi, I do miss it in a way, I moved from Middlesbrough to Hertfordshire and I have been here 4 years now. I'm also quite shy and haven't made any friends, I know people to say hello to, or chat at bus-stops, but no friends.

I do miss home because my sisters are there, I miss it much less now my mum has died tbh. I have no base there now, I miss the good parts of having family close by, but can well appreciate not being there sometimes.

When my Mum was alive I would have moved back in a shot, but now I'm not sure. I live in a nice area (albeit a council estate in a nice area). Now I don't think there would be enough upsides to go with the downsides.

The one thing I do miss about home is the fact that it's so small, it also has great facilites/places to take kids. At home there are loads of affordable playschemes/places to take kids etc. Nothing is more than 30 mins away on a bus.

Here is a nightmare, there are a couple of parks close, but thats about it. To even get to a softplay is an hour on the bus and a walk, no swimming, no accessible kids activities. Fair enough we are close to London but that involves 2 travelcards at a cost of £20 before you have even factored in expenses. For people as skint as us, we are trapped basically.

Sorry about the rant, but I do understand.

Fimbo Thu 28-Aug-08 23:34:52

I live 800 miles away from home.

I miss it, despite living here for nearly 8 years. I miss not having someone to call on if you need a babysitter or an emergency arises. I do have friends here, but miss my old friends and my family.

Where I live is also very flat and strangely I crave the hills of Scotland. I also miss the friendliness of Scotland and the Scottish people.

I was back home a few weeks ago and it is upsetting when you have to leave again.

My dh's job is fairly secure and highly paid, so the chance of moving back is slim.

Fimbo Thu 28-Aug-08 23:38:20

Sorry Abstract I was typing my message as you posted, didn't mean to sound smug about my dh' job. I should have just said there is no hope of us ever moving back. Sorry blush

expatinscotland Thu 28-Aug-08 23:39:29

i love my family, but i absolutely hated my home city. the weather is utter shite, all year round. it's too conservative, full of violent gun crime, hot as hell most of the time, huge and sprawling. i could go on.

i left my home city in 1989.

i miss my family like crazy, but i couldn't live in that place for all the tea in china.

Fimbo Thu 28-Aug-08 23:40:03

I don't like my home city, but would move where my pil are in a flash.

lynniep Thu 28-Aug-08 23:53:58

I dont miss home, although it would be nice to see family more often (and have their help with DS!). I've never missed places, only people - its the distance between us that make the difference. We moved to Oz for 15 months a while back - when it came to the crunch I needed to come home - as in UK - I didnt care where - I just wanted my friends and family back. I didnt need them round the corner, but 10000 miles between us was too much. It wasn't like a big weight off my chest when we returned, but I felt like that part of my life that was missing had come back.

3andnomore Fri 29-Aug-08 00:02:35

hm...sometimes I miss Germany and if it was a viable choice, we may would consider it....but at the moment it's out of the question...

thing is, when i visit germany i start to miss some brittish things....and I find german people a little uptight and don't know how to say it....but Brits are easier going

So in short, yes and no, lol

colie Fri 29-Aug-08 22:59:53

lyniepip-totally agree about not missing places. I just miss family and friends so much. Although I do miss not getting to see Loch Lomond.wink I also feel the same as you, as in part of my life is missing and I want it back.

My dd has been at school here for past two years, so have met lots of other mums at school gate and at parent and toddlers. I know alot of people to say hello to and possibly pass time of day with them. It just stops there. Nothing more. Maybe I need to try harder. Invite people back for a coffee etc. Just my house is never tidy enough for invites back to it wink.

Will stop feeling sorry for myself and am just going to learn to really appreciate what I have already.

Thanks for replies ladies. Have often wondered how others feel once they move quite far from home.

colie Fri 29-Aug-08 23:05:34

Fimbo; know what you mean about the friendliness thing. Although the liverpuddlians are a friendly lot. I miss being able to speak really quickly. When I do noone except my kids understand me.

My kids are (just turned) 6, nearly 3 and 7 months. So I suppose this is when you most need babysitters support and another outlet. No doubt it will get easier as they get older.
I live in hope grin.

flyinglizzards Fri 29-Aug-08 23:18:53

I have moved around a lot. I never really feel at home.
my family, small in numbers are situated very far from me . I miss them.

Home is like having a warm blanket wrapped around you. I miss that feeling and can't remember where or how to find it. You are not alone, may people feel this way, you just find other ways to give you warmth and support through your life.

3andnomore Fri 29-Aug-08 23:21:36

hm...motly for me home is where I live...
but doesn't stop me, as I said above, to miss germany/german things at times

pointydog Fri 29-Aug-08 23:33:09

I don't have a home town because we moved about a little bit.

I miss having ahome town, whether it's a place ot love or hate. I want my dds to grow up with a home town and I really don';t mind if they love or hate it when they are older.

katch Fri 29-Aug-08 23:35:50

Hi Colie - I couldn't wait to leave the Liverpool area 25 years ago, but now I envy my SIL who has her mother and mine to help with kids, plus my sister is now moving back up north to enjoy the same benefits.

And, now that there's decent shops and cultural stuff up there, I don't get the benefit - I can't abandon the kids with Nana and go exploring on my own, without seeing the 'rellies'.

We lived in London for 10 years, and I was desperate to leave - so we did, nearly 6 years ago, but I still miss my life there, and haven't built up anything like the support and friendship I had then.

Now that I have to get in the car to buy a pint of milk, and I can go for days without saying more than a vague hello to a few people, I can appreciate what I left behind, both when I left Liverpool and when we moved from London.

I suppose moving doesn't change the person you are at heart - if you're quiet and maybe appear stand-offish that's not going to change with the location.

3andnomore Fri 29-Aug-08 23:39:12

moving is not going to change you as such....no...

SalLikesCoffee Fri 29-Aug-08 23:53:26

Well, I moved countries and although I miss my family a lot (especially now that I've got a baby), I wouldn't want to move back to where I grew up. To get home, I need to fly 11 hours, then another hour connecting flight, then 3 hours drive, so unfortunately I can't visit that often.

I do still love my home town and especially my family, wish I had more support available here etc, but then, I like the fact that I'm "grown up" here, whereas I still feel like a child whenever we're visiting.

It might have to do with the stage of your life that you moved away as well. I don't think if I had to make the choice now I would have done it, but don't regret the choice I made then.

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