If I'm honest I'm a fairly crap hands-on parent - incredibly impatient & easily bored, yet I'm currently totally lacking in ambition and unmotivated work-wise, what the hell to do, keep on the p/t vague career track and bring in the £ or chuck it all...

[MissChief]

I realise this may sound a touch self-indulgent to some but I'm sure I'm not alone, just being very honest! I've done my time slogging workwise and am now totally lacking in ambition and find it hard to achieve all the tasks I'm set in my current role due to complete lack of focus, boredom, sense of pointlessness.

I have a fairly senior public sector role, huge time of change, team lost key members recently and we have no top-level direction. My post was hard-won though after I retrained while working and looking after a young baby at the time, working my way up with each job move as I then felt so driven to reach a senior level. Now I@m here it seems so meaningless and with family problems, a long commute, on-going insomnia to battle with it sometimes seems an achievement just to get in on time let alone do anyhting productive.

I'm on the verge of resigning but am aware that it could be "career suicide" if I do so. I'm also fearful of what life looking after 2 dcs would be like, I'm not a natural maternal type and seem to spend most of my time with them shouting instructions, counting to 10 (and counting down to when nursery/school opens, if I'm honest!)

So, after this ramble, my question is what to do, I'm (currently at least) a useless employee but I@m also a rather mediocre mother in terms of being hands-on. Would it therefore be wise to think twice about resigning? I would still be working p/t but locally and at a much lower salary. I might also study p/t. Yongest dc starts school next sept.

[MissChief]

god, sorry, self-indulgence 3x over!

that should get a reaction (shall creep away)

Internet connection dodgy out in the sticks, thought i'd only posted once!

[lilymolly]

Oh know you could be me.

I am in sales in the same role for 6 years and I am bored and totally lacking in motivation. Chances to skive are easy, so find i skive more and more.

I have no direction or support from manager- lost all my mate collegues last year and dont really like how the company has changed recently.

I am however very well paid, have lovely company car, and am currently 11 weeks pregnant so will be taking a years mat leave and tbh will prob not go back

I am also a medicore mother- at least thats what I thing and not sure I am a stay at home mum.

DP reckons I may be able to either give up work after mat leave of change jobs so that is what I plan to do.

If I was in your position I would change jobs- I think we spend so much time at work, that if you are really pissed off with it, then you need to change and get one which suits you better and make you feel happy

[theangelshavethephonebox]

Well, self indulgent it may be but I feel a bit like you - don't think I'm cut out to SAH full time, but find work quite meaningless for me (despite having gone through major career change, worked my way up etc).

I have been working three days a week for a year now and though I am still quite half hearted about my job, I really enjoy the two days with ds and always look forward to them - then after time with him I start to look forward to some adult time at work. The balance is really good for me, I think.

[MissChief]

glad I'm not alone! Congratulations on your pending baby, that'll keep you busy at least and, as you say, staying will be worthwhile for the mat leave. It is hard to stay when work is so bloody awful though, isn't it?

[Maenad]

Could you take a sabbatical to find out what the reality of looking after your children full-time would be like? It might be different from what you are expecting?

[MissChief]

oh, that was to lilymolly.
theangels, it's good you enjoy 2 days with yr ds. I used to when it was just the one but i feel so maxed out now with 2 dcs, house, job, commute, dh away, job-hunting etc etc, seems never ending and I just don't have the right frame of mind to be "in the moment" with them and chill out a bit, I'm constantly trying to do everythin all at once and consequently bugger it all up!

[MissChief]

maenad, did think of that, would have been ideal solution but boss not keen tho have official policy on it, it's never done here.

[tribpot]

Yes, agree. It sounds like a change of career direction is what's needed rather than necessarily deciding to be a SAHM. I think that should be a positive decision where possible, i.e. based on what you want to do rather than because you can't decide what you want to do.

Question. Why did you want to reach Senior Management, what was the goal? Was it more dosh, more sense of control over the direction of the organisation, managing a team, leadership? I think it'd be worth exploring what drove you on that you're now not getting from the current role.

I'd also encourage external support in this, is there a professional organisation you can turn to? I don't know if you're NHS but we are about to use the 360 appraisal process offered by the NHS Institute for Innovation and Technology to help some of our key staff find their way back, does your sector have anything similar?

Re: the long commute, could you work from home part of the time?

[MissChief]

thanks, tribpot, very sensible advice I shall try to sleeep on (rather going over my head at the moment, i really don't know why i wanted to get ahead at the time, probably for the reasons you suggest - salary, self-direction, involvement in strategic aims of the organisation)
I feel that's I've rather messed up here though - one period of extended sick leave (depression) and as I said I'm rather demotivated at the moment, a fact which hasn't gone unnoticed by my boss and team. We've moved some way out and a local job would mean a serious fall in salary into a miuch more junior role unless I'm incredibly lucky. I've been job-hunting for 2 yrs or so now and nothing much else has come up

[MissChief]

thanks, tribpot, very sensible advice I shall try to sleeep on (rather going over my head at the moment, i really don't know why i wanted to get ahead at the time, probably for the reasons you suggest - salary, self-direction, involvement in strategic aims of the organisation)
I feel that's I've rather messed up here though - one period of extended sick leave (depression) and as I said I'm rather demotivated at the moment, a fact which hasn't gone unnoticed by my boss and team. We've moved some way out and a local job would mean a serious fall in salary into a miuch more junior role unless I'm incredibly lucky. I've been job-hunting for 2 yrs or so now and nothing much else has come up

[MissChief]

thanks, tribpot, very sensible advice I shall try to sleeep on (rather going over my head at the moment, i really don't know why i wanted to get ahead at the time, probably for the reasons you suggest - salary, self-direction, involvement in strategic aims of the organisation)
I feel that's I've rather messed up here though - one period of extended sick leave (depression) and as I said I'm rather demotivated at the moment, a fact which hasn't gone unnoticed by my boss and team. We've moved some way out and a local job would mean a serious fall in salary into a miuch more junior role unless I'm incredibly lucky. I've been job-hunting for 2 yrs or so now and nothing much else has come up