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My dad is an absolute star

(5 Posts)
IllegallyBrunette Mon 11-Aug-08 19:49:51

This might be long so bear with me.

When my parents decided to divorce I was about 11. MY elder brother was 15 so he was allowed to decide who he wanted to live with and he chose my dad.
It was assumed then that me and my younger brother would live with my mum, she'd get the house etc etc.
As the divorce proceedings went on, I watched both parents very carefully and was shocked to see how differently they behaved during such a difficult time and it led me to make the desicion that I also wanted to live with my dad.
I remember blurting it out to my mum first during an argument, and I remember her telling me not to be so stupid because no one would ever agree to it.
Afterwards I told my dad and right from the moment I told him, and he checked that it was really want I wanted, he fought as hard as he possibly could to give me what i'd asked for.

It was tough, and he didn't have much support, afterall men don't get custody, or at least they didn't then. My mum was still contesting the whole thing, saying that he'd brainwashed me etc or tried to buy me off and she even tried to get him put in prison for something he didn't do.
Eventually after all of my pleas falling on deaf ears, I decided to seek legal advice of my own and eventually got my own solicitor.
They wrote to my mum telling her why i'd sought legal advice, what I wanted and what i'd been advised to do if the custody hearing didn't go my way.
Amazingly my mum admitted defeat and moved out. My younger brother also stayed with me, my elder brother and my dad.

My dad had to pay my mum her share of the house, so he immediatly increased his working hours and took every bit of overtime going to make sure we didn't lose the house.
He always said that the house was our home, and he'd do everything in his power to keep it, so that we always had a home to go if ever we needed it.

Not long after my mum moved out, my dad announced that he didn't need a double room anymore so he gave his room to me, and he had my box room bedroom. My brothers shared the other large room. My dad never once complained about it, he said it was only fair.
We all grew up and I met xp and moved out. Me and my dad actually fell out because of that and didn't speak for a few months but my dad soon came round and said that if i was happy then i had his blessing.

So now there was a spare big bedroom again, but my dad insisted my brother have it so that they didn't have to share. My dad stayed squashed in the boxroom.

I had alot of relationship problems and my dad always let it be known that all I had to do was say the word and I could move back in, along with my 2 girls.

Eventually my younger brother met someone and moved out, leaving just my dad and elder brother in the house. My dad finally got to have a bit of space and got the double bedroom back to himself. My elder brother then moved into the box room and had his bedroom as a sort of sitting room as he now had his own gf who stayed over alot.

Fast forward to today. My younger brother rings me to tell me him and his gf are splitting up, says that he really needs to move out quite quickly but has nowhere to go so will have to stay put until he can find a flat.
I ask him if he'd thought about going back home and he said yeah but there is no room and i'm not asking dad anyway. Men and their pride eh.

So, I ring my dad, not to ask him if my brother can stay but to put him in the picture about whats going on. I said explained it all, told him how he'd really like to move straight out etc but he has nowhere to go, and my dad said 'how many times have i told you lot, this is your home, you will always have somewhere to go'.
He is going to ring my brother tommorow and tell him that if he doesn't mind roughing it for a bit then he is quite welcome to sleep on the sofa until he decides what he wants to do.
If he decides to get a flat fine, but if he'd rather stay at my dads for longer so he can sort out debts etc then my dad is going to convert the living room into a bedroom for him for as long as he wants.

Not once would it of ever crossed my dads mind to say 'sorry no, can't help you'.

He is an absolute star and I love him to bits (even if he does take ages to do my jobs wink).

Twinkie1 Mon 11-Aug-08 19:52:17

You are very very lucky and a very nice lady for appreciating him so much.

tiredemma Mon 11-Aug-08 19:52:43

Ah that is sweet.

Dads are fab- mine is so wonderful, it fills me up just to mention him.

TeaDr1nker Mon 11-Aug-08 19:56:08

That's lovely.

You are very lucky...

IllegallyBrunette Mon 11-Aug-08 19:56:12

Oh yes I am very very lucky to have him grin

I have said hundreds of times over the past 15 yrs since the divorce that not once have I ever regretted my desicion to stay with my dad, and if I had to then i choose to do exactly the same again.

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