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does anyone else lack self-confidence....why do i find it so hard to do simple things?

(6 Posts)
queenrollo Thu 07-Aug-08 11:19:59

i've just had to book my car in for it's MOT.....i've only been driving a year and it's the first time i've had to do it.
I feel ridiculous because i'm shaking now i've got off the phone......

I'm like this with lots of stuff....simple everyday tasks that i put off doing until the last minute.
I've always been like this, i have a fear of getting things wrong and feeling silly when i do, but what can i get wrong about booking my car in for an MOT?

Has anyone overcome a lack of self-confidence and if so how did you do it?

Mamazon Thu 07-Aug-08 11:25:44

I get bervous when putting my car in for an MOT...though probably for very different reason, im just scared mine will fail!

im a reasonably confident person so can't offer any personal experiance but i used to work with children with low self esteem.
My advice would be to take small steps. try little things at a time and applaud yourself when you have done something youhave found difficult.

like booking the MOT. yuo were worried but you did it, Well done! don't concentrate on the negative (you were worried) think of teh positive ( you did it with no upset)

queenrollo Thu 07-Aug-08 11:35:46

my confidence was boosted a lot last year when i left my ex (after 14 years) and had to arrange somewhere to live, and all the utilities etc.......i just got on with it.

I've tried to keep my self out there, doing stuff but i seem to be slipping backwards....sad like my momentum has gone......

I've done lots of things in the last 9 months that i never thought i'd do.....like catching a train to London on my own (won't be doing it again in a hurry thought) and from driving no more than a 15 min journey on a daily basis i now have to do a 1hr30min drive to work and back three days a week.

Like you say i need to concentrate on the positive.
I just feel ridiculous that i am 32 years old and still feel like a kid at times.

LivingLaVidaLurker2 Thu 07-Aug-08 11:36:33

You are certainly not ridiculous. As Mamazon said, be proud of yourself that you did it even though you were worried.

You could try writing down a 'script' or bullet points before you call, just so you make sure you say everything you want to.

If you have negative thoughts in your head (such as "Oh, you're so stupid. You can't even make a phone call") then stop for a moment, listen to them, say, "That's an interesting viewpoint, but I did make the call" and then move on to something else. I know this may sound daft, but it has helped me to ignore my 'gremlins'.

Also, try writing down a list of what you've achieved every day and look at it in the evening and be proud of what you've accomplished. They may seem like small things to other people, but they are important to you and that is all that matters. Oh, and don't make to-do lists in the morning. It will only put you under pressure and if you don't get everything done, you'll feel bad about yourself.

So sorry, I am blathering on.

Overmydeadbody Thu 07-Aug-08 11:40:05

I suffeer from lack of confidence too, and used to be a whole lot worse than I am today.

I found the only way to particlly overcome it was lots of practice. I repeatedly made myself do things I was uncomfortable doing, making phone calls, asking for assistance in shops, talking to strancers, making public speaches etc, and the more I did them and suffered no ill effects the more confidence I built up. Repeated exposure tends to make these simple tasks less daunting.

I used to shake, have heart palpitations and come out in a cold sweat before doing something like speaking in public or making phone calls etc.

I don't any more, although I still get nervous I control it better and overcome it quicker I think.

Overmydeadbody Thu 07-Aug-08 11:41:53

as mamazon said, concentrate on the positive, once you have done something scary, congratulate yourself and be proud of yourself.

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