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Going to a wedding .. they want cash not gifts...

(85 Posts)
robinpud Fri 01-Aug-08 21:31:49

Hmm.. they have asked, very nicely, that if guests do want to buy anything, ( and they don't need anything as have teeny tiny house with no space) that we give cash.
so do we get them cash as requested.. gift cards for John Lewis or similar, or go with my gut instinct and get them 3 fine bottles of champagne for special moments in the year to come?

watsthestory Fri 01-Aug-08 21:33:17

Message withdrawn

Ambi Fri 01-Aug-08 21:35:21

I have done that in the past myself. When gift vouchers were requested I got a personalised bottle of champagne. They'll be inundated with cash etc. And will remember your gift, its not like its something they already have. Though if I don't know the couple too well it is easier getting vouchers.

QuintessentialShadows Fri 01-Aug-08 21:36:39

Do they like champagne?

I would maybe give just one bottle, and a/some £ note in an envelope.

Guadalupe Fri 01-Aug-08 21:39:11

I am going to a wedding tomorrow and the invite says donations towards a a fun garden for the kids. Do you just put money in with the card then? I've never given cash before. I like the champagne idea.

robinpud Fri 01-Aug-08 21:41:58

I think the really awkward thing about the cash is having to decide how much is appropriate.. where do you start with that?

Guadalupe Fri 01-Aug-08 21:48:52

it does seem harder doesn't it? Even though you know the couple will be aware of the price of a gift on a list, money is much more, I don't know what word I'm looking for really, something.

MyDingaling Fri 01-Aug-08 22:03:21

I think the champagne idea is lovely, really thoughtful

BlueDragonfly Fri 01-Aug-08 22:05:02

Do they drink? Do they like chanpagne? If so, then yes its a lovely idea but i don't so would be a bit annoyed that you had ignored me!

Cappuccino Fri 01-Aug-08 22:06:15

I do get bored tho at weddings with people going 'oh we are not getting them something off the list that is boring we are not boring'

it is not about you you narcississtic eejit it is about the couple

if you give them cash they can get champagne

unless you know them REALLY REALLY well and know that they would like this then fair enough

I went off list with my best friend and so did she, but only my best friend, cos I knew I could

DiscoDizzy Fri 01-Aug-08 22:07:28

Champagne sounds lovely IF you like it, I have lots of bottles stpred up because I don't like it.

If they've asked for money, why not just give it them. It doesn't matter how much you give them - the equivalent of 3 bottles of champagne perhaps.

Gobbledigook Fri 01-Aug-08 22:09:01

I'd be ecstatic to receive a bottle of Veuve Cliquot or Bolly, however, if they've asked for money I guess that's the best thing to do.

Gobbledigook Fri 01-Aug-08 22:09:20

DiscoDizzy - over here! I LOVE champagne!

DiscoDizzy Fri 01-Aug-08 22:10:12


Lizzylou Fri 01-Aug-08 22:12:04

I'm with Capp
Only my BF went "off list"

somersetmum Fri 01-Aug-08 22:14:07

I don't see the problem with couples asking for cash. Times have changed and the majority will already be living together so, of course they will already have things.

Traditionally the happy couple provide a gift list. This is still asking for specific items and no-one has ever suggested that this is rude so why not give them cash?

And what about the couples who choose to donate all the cash to charity, because they genuinely do not need it? Do you think the charities will appreciate champagne?

I don't agree with the argument about knowing how much to give either. It is no different between choosing whether to buy a designer vase or a toaster (and there's nothing wrong with buying a toaster, so long as they don't have one grin). Decide how much you would have spent on a gift and give that amount.

littlelapin Fri 01-Aug-08 22:14:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam Fri 01-Aug-08 22:24:59

Ooh, gift lists were very controversial not that long ago... I remember agonised debates about whether we should have one and whether to include a note in the invites etc. etc. etc. Was thought by some to be jolly rude to have a list at all, let alone tell people about it. Because you should be jolly grateful for what you are given and not expect presents, IIRC.

These days no-one bats an eyelid at a wedding list. Cash is the new list!

expatinscotland Fri 01-Aug-08 22:32:37

I will always find it the height of bad taste to ask for cash in lieu of a gift.

Just bad form.

Get them a voucher.

littlelapin Fri 01-Aug-08 22:44:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Fri 01-Aug-08 22:46:04

i just find it awful to a) assume people are beholden to get you a gift b) then say it has to be cash.

tbh, i've revised my original opinion, i'd get them booze, too.

or a book on manners.

GrinningGorilla Fri 01-Aug-08 22:47:49

If I ever got married I would ask for cash and when the guests walked in they would be given a safety pin to pin the note of choice to my wedding dress. What a fabulous idea....

Cappuccino Fri 01-Aug-08 22:49:20

by saying 'we would rather have this' you are not saying 'get me a gift you oiks'

and it is bad manners to go to a wedding without one anyway surely

I can't see what is wrong with cash personally. The whole idea of building a fecking dinner service out of your wedding day is odd imo

PeaMcLean Fri 01-Aug-08 22:50:07

We asked for cash so that we could go out and choose a painting. We'd been living together for long enough so if we didn't have enough towels and a kettle etc there was only us to blame. But the painting is still on our wall and always will be and I know all our friends clubbed together, in effect, to buy it. And we chose it together.

I'd hate to just contribute to a general "cash" pot though, it needs to be for something specific.

expatinscotland Fri 01-Aug-08 22:50:28

no one is saying go without a gift, Capp, jsut that it should be of the guests' chosing.

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