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Have a HAPPY &*%$£@! PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(25 Posts)
Thomcat Fri 25-Jul-08 21:47:25

Are they having a laugh?

This woman clearly thought so:

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER

BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE

Dear Mr. Thatcher

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horse riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my 'time of the month' is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings,crying and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realise it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that the UK is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you +*#ing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?

Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl,there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Nurofen and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Tesco's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put Down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong'?- Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately,there will be an £8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh1t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

justjules Fri 25-Jul-08 21:48:48

i just seen the 'have a happy period' advert

DanJARMouse Fri 25-Jul-08 21:50:58

Love it.

I saw the advert a few minutes ago and was like WTF?!

Had to be a man.

Thomcat Fri 25-Jul-08 21:52:53

Have a HAPPY PERIOD.
WTF??????????????
OH!
Happy and period, together in the same sentence.
NO.
Rid...ic...u....lous.

Carmenere Fri 25-Jul-08 21:54:24

Hahaha it sound like it was written by Giles Corens gf

butwhybutwhy Fri 25-Jul-08 21:54:59

Lol at this.

I was watching it the other day and I laughed my socks off.
I wonder what genius thought up that cracking line.

Bit of a hijack, JARM, is your ds crawling now?!!!! (sssh tis Nbg)

paperchain Fri 25-Jul-08 21:55:31

great OP

grin

MaureenMLove Fri 25-Jul-08 21:56:01

PMSL! I think the OP sums it up perfectly. Thankyou for lightening my evening!grin

Slubberdegullion Fri 25-Jul-08 21:57:02

lol. brilliant letter

ranting Fri 25-Jul-08 21:57:25

I'm telling you that advert will be cause of an axe murder one day, so it will.

MaryAnnSingleton Fri 25-Jul-08 21:57:38

oh come on, periods aren't that bad ! funny letter though

Thomcat Fri 25-Jul-08 21:58:10

Isn't it a brilliant letter! grin

LynetteScavo Fri 25-Jul-08 21:59:30

Fantastic OP. I don't use "sanitary protection" so do always really have "Have a appy period " printed on them????? shock

ranting Fri 25-Jul-08 22:01:57

Periods aren't that BAD?!!! Did you write that fecking advert per chancewink.

DanJARMouse Fri 25-Jul-08 22:03:06

(yes he is - he is a bugger, crawling, pulling himself up on anything stationary - including my legs! Check out my FB page for latest photos - some taken tonight)

Going to copy that letter and email it to my mates - its hillarious

Hopeysgirlwasntbig Fri 25-Jul-08 22:03:06

BLOODY MARVELLOUS letter, couldn't have put it better myself...

What a shitty advert. I particularly disliked the bit about 'periods mean your body is working'.... what about poor women who can't conceive?

What a load of bollocks marketing

Thomcat Fri 25-Jul-08 22:13:11

It is my least favourite ad I can remember. And I don't have bad periods. But they are never, ever a happy occurance.

Have a Happy Period.

FFS.

Who was in the boardroom that day aye?

Califrau Fri 25-Jul-08 22:16:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo Fri 25-Jul-08 23:13:36

I was in Vancuver on Eater Day once, and was wished a "Happy Bunny Day".

Please, please never let that phrase cross the Atlantic.

RealityGap Fri 25-Jul-08 23:34:31

Im sobbing into my red wine after seeing the ad apparently "having a period means your body is working properly" what does that mean for the poor buggers like me that have PCOS and don't ovulate - am I broken SOB

Dior Fri 25-Jul-08 23:50:31

Message withdrawn

RealityGap Fri 25-Jul-08 23:59:25

are you sure that they aint saying "hey bitch you are a woman shut the feck up and deal with it while I golf??"

mamalovesmojitos Sat 26-Jul-08 00:48:09

oh my god R O F L

HarleyQuinn Mon 28-Jul-08 19:58:11

LMAO, genius, I love it!

wheresthehamster Mon 28-Jul-08 20:02:15

PMSL!!

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