one of those picture frames that you can record a message into. put a lovely pic of you children in it and record them saying 'happy 30th birthday aunty xxx'seeing as though she's miles away, she should 'love' it[why doesnt she if not???
and also get her a 'funny' card about being old and wrinkly...just a joke
Throw it back at your dh. It is his sister and so HE can take the blame. Personally I would get nothing, or make a charity donation in her name. Call her and say that you couldn't think of anything she might need as you as so untrendy in comparison, so you thought she wouldn't mind if you made a charity donation in her name. How can she get cross without it sounding really rude and churlish