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Do you ever feel like you can't do anything now you have kids?

(23 Posts)
lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:18:27

I know it's dreadful to say but I really feel like I won't be able to get a 'proper' job when the time comes to go back to work.
I'm doing an ou degree, but employers want young graduates from bricks and morter universities don't they?
Plus, by the time I've completed the degree I'll be in my late thirties probably.
I'm fed up with being skint as well and my house looks a mess.
Anyone else ever feel like this? Life just seems to be slipping me by and all my friends seem to be having a much better time than me.

SSSandy2 Mon 14-Jul-08 09:21:09

I think it's great you're managing a degree whilst bringing up your dc. I think there is a possiblity of moving on to an easier life even with kids, why not?

How old are the dc? It all gets a bit easier when they are older and leave you more free time.

constancereader Mon 14-Jul-08 09:24:00

Good God woman, you are managing to do a degree! I think that is brilliant.

Is it one of those crap days where everything feels too much?

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:25:38

They are two and three, and they're so whingy at the moment.
I really want to get a job so we can have more money but childcare would take up all the spare cash anyway.
I'm really enjoying my course but I just keep thinking will it actually benefit me in the long run.

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:28:04

cr, yes I think it is. I can't even blame it on PMT. I'm sure this is how everyone feels at some point, even if they have a fantastic job and lifestyle.
Even before I had kids I fannied about wasting time and now I wish I'd done things differently.

constancereader Mon 14-Jul-08 09:28:32

It will be of benefit, of course it will.

Your children will be at school in a few years so childcare costs will be less.

I, am glad you are enjoying your course.

To be honest I am terribly impressed that you can do a degree with such young children. I find one 18 month old such hard work!

iloverosycheeks Mon 14-Jul-08 09:29:31

Hats off to you - I found it incredibly hard to study through the OU and I did it when I was single and childless. Keep going though as I regret not completing it. So what if you are in your late thirties, it is better to have a degree in your late thirties than to be like me - thinking hmm I wish I'd finished that course sad

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:31:19

There is one good side to being poor, I'm getting my course fees paid for. I am lucky in a lot of ways, but the frustration is kicking in big time at the moment.

FILLYJONKhasayarnshopASBO Mon 14-Jul-08 09:31:22

well you are right, you are going to struggle more than a young graduate for certain jobs, yes

but all you need is one job, iyswim

I really feel for you, I am also doing an OU degree, will be in late 30s by the time I am done, and KNOW I will probably be overqualified for whatever I end up in (I already have a degree + law conversion but am going into a new area) . I have developed enormously as a person since being at home with the kids but thats not a cv-worthy really is it? We are not meant to have private lives....It is quite frustrating really.

what is your degree in and what do you want to do?

PeachyBAHons Mon 14-Jul-08 09:33:47

'I'm fed up with being skint as well and my house looks a mess. '

Oh sympathies, I know the feeling


you will come put the other side! i just graduated, and it still seems strange that its all done with.

And of course it will help your career whatever you choose- OU degrees are seen often as a sign of backbone, commitment and organisational skill.

And Oi1 nowt wrong with late thirties wink- well 35 anyway LOL

Hope your day gets better, your kids are at a hard age and you're bound to feel down at times but stick with it and you'll be so glad you did.

FILLYJONKhasayarnshopASBO Mon 14-Jul-08 09:34:27

oh congratulations peachy!

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:34:38

ilrc, I did go to uni for a while when I was younger but I couldn't stick at it. Then when I left I got a job with a publishing company which really boosted my confidence. Then eight months later I was made redundant. I then qualified as a beauty therapist, met my dh and here I am.
But looking back I wasted so many opportunites.

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:36:42

It's a science degree, something I really hated at school, but now I've found a new enthusiasm for it and I'm learning an awful lot. I shouldn't be complaining at all.

PeachyBAHons Mon 14-Jul-08 09:37:36

Every job you did, skill you gained can still be used post degree. yes there are certain jobs where younger people are wanted but many were a mature grad with life skills is preferred- I know I'd have progressed much further in my last career (chairty management) if I had had a degree and ten years extra on me.

You are not the same as a young grad, you have a wealth of skill behind you- the trick is selling that I guess.

(thanks Filly)

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:44:14

I think being at home looking after young kids addles your brain and you forget how to function as a person in your own right. That's how it feels. Thank you for all your kind words, I've got to snap out of it.

PeachyBAHons Mon 14-Jul-08 09:47:26

It certainly can affect yopur confidence and make you feel alienated.

Do you get to go to tutor run sessions?

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 09:50:50

No tutorials with the one i'm on. It's only a short course though. There are residential schools though I will have to go on.
Peachy, what is your degree in?

PeachyBAHons Mon 14-Jul-08 10:13:28

Mine is in (please don't snigger LOL) world religions and philosophy- not half as useful as Science I bet! (but as i may teach the precise subject iyswim)

I didn't fo it at OU but have studied at OU before so have some idea, really loved it actually but post kids couldn't get motivated enough

So you should be really, really proud of yourself!

Cod Mon 14-Jul-08 10:13:47

Message withdrawn

lazarou Mon 14-Jul-08 10:54:35

Peachy, I remember when i was made redundant and some sort of life coach came to speak to us all. He asked me what my skills, strengths, etc were and I said I was very philosophical. He said 'what do you mean? In what way?' I replied 'I don't know'

How we both laughed

FILLYJONKhasayarnshopASBO Tue 15-Jul-08 21:21:09

oh, what are you doing? Am curious.

I am doing chemistry i think, though might change over to biology (I am basically going for biochemitry courses and seeing which degree I end up with)

i hated science at school too...

cafebistro Tue 15-Jul-08 21:37:30

Well done for doing the degree lazarou, it can only be of benefit to you. I know how you feel though. i did my degree before having children but have been SAHM for two years since DS was 10 months. Ive since had DD and am now facing the prospect of returning to work in the not to distant future. I am totally overwhelmed and feel that I just might not be able to do the job anymore and feel a failure before i even start looking for work!

lazarou Wed 16-Jul-08 16:05:40

I'm hoping to either do life sciences or natural sciences. Although Biology does fascinate me, there are other aspects that also interest me, like Geology, so natural sciences might be better.
They all look interesting though don't they? I find a lot of the time people are confused about what to do because they get seduced by a certain course which isn't a specified one for their chosen degree. I have to avoid that though as time is ticking on.

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