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can anyone help me please? How can I............

(24 Posts)
anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 11:18:33

go on a Confidence or simlar course when I have not got one bit of confidence?

so much that I cant even pick up the phone to book! let along actually go to the course?

I really need to do something with my life, have never acheived anything, don't really have any motivation to do anything either!! But know I can't sit doing nothing for the next 40/50 years!

Thanks

Brigadoon Sun 15-Jun-08 11:21:29

Just do it. What are you scared of?

Flier Sun 15-Jun-08 11:22:54

ok. wtite down what you want to say - word for word, if need be. Then just do it. They will be used to it.

barmymamma Sun 15-Jun-08 11:33:28

absolutely, just do it. once you made that call and commited yourself, the rest will be easy. if this is something that your into and ecxited about, it will work out!we all have confidence issues of some sort, but you can over come them. ive been reading the 10 min life couch, really boosts me up and helps me belive i can do things!!

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 11:35:44

thanks!

Im not excited by it at all lol I just need to do something and I need to become a lot more confident and have some belief in myself

LIZS Sun 15-Jun-08 11:50:37

Can you find something that has a less daunting title on a topic you know you'd enjoy (books, art, IT etc) which would at elast get you out and over your initial apprehensions.

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 11:53:53

thanks, thats a good idea, I would still be terrified at the thought of going along

I consider myself to be quite thick! am terrified of making a fool of myself and getting nothing right

HunnyMonster Sun 15-Jun-08 11:57:50

book by email?

First step on a journey.
I know it is horrible lackign confidence, I try to imagine what I would say to a friend.
If you were your own kind supportive friend what would you say?

Are you a loving mum
A good friend
Do you hold down a job
Are you a kind daughter
Can you sing well
Do you choose thoughtful birthday gifts for people
Do you do voluntary work?

HunnyMonster Sun 15-Jun-08 11:58:36

I woudl say the fact you want to go on a course shows you are an intelligent person who wants to live well and get the most out of her life

Flier Sun 15-Jun-08 11:58:39

have you found the course that you feel you need to go on? ie do you have the details to hand to phone and arrange?

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 12:03:29

If I really felt able to go on it, then I suppose DH would ring for me

Im just so terrified of going, you know you end up doing those group things, hate the thought of that

But even though I am not keen on the confidence course suppose I just thought it might enable me to go onto others afterwards

I have no real motivation to do anything! although I can shop wink grin But am also scared of just sitting here doing nothing day in day out, forever

It was once suggested for me to do voluntary work, Brilliant idea....I couldnt do it

the thought of being shown something to do, then it doesnt sink in so I have to ask to be shown again, and again..and again......

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 12:04:00

thank you for the advice and for listening smile

I have days were Im not bothered then some days I know I need to change things

PeaGreene Sun 15-Jun-08 12:08:52

Ooh annie, poor you. How've you got so bad? There must be things you have learned in life. Why do you think you're so lacking in confidence? you've made a step forward in actually finding a course, though, haven't you?

And if you don't have the confidence to do a group thing when you're actually there, I'd really hope the person running it woudl be able to deal with that - it's a confidence course after all, the other people are not going to be full of confidence!

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 12:13:15

its a long story lol

Think I have always felt a little bit like this but nothing to this extreme

very short version....one of my twin dd was very ill as a baby and also a couple of years ago, had to watch her fight for her life twice, life support machine, surgery on her brain etc and she now has SN

think I got worse from her being ill, been at home since they were born nearly 7 years ago.....

strange thing is, people who know me (not very close friends) all would say Im friendly and outgoing lol

PeaGreene Sun 15-Jun-08 12:20:07

Ah yes, the "outgoing on the surface" thing. I know that one. I think a lot of people do.

You've had a really tough time. So sorry to hear about your daughter. that will have had a huge impact on you.

I think at least you've realised there's a problem and you can see a route out for yourself. How do you feel at the thought of picking up the phone and booking? Can we nag you until you do? grin wink

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 12:22:05

lol!

you could! dont think it would work though

Lo, I will add it onto the list of things I need to 'get around to doing'!!!

I may ring next week and ask for some info....sorry, I mean I will get my DH to ring !!!!

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 12:23:10

thing is, I dont do the outgoing thing on purpose1 I am just naturally friendly and a laughing kinda person!!

But thats ok with my friends and Mums at school ect but put me in some group........................nooooo!!

barmymamma Sun 15-Jun-08 13:41:44

ok i will make a pact with you..... you book on course and ill do what ive been putting off for ages too!!! i will ring about a job interview!
in last 4 yrs ive only actually worked 15months of it due to mat leave. i have to return to work though or i will loose my registration!!
i am also terrified that i have forgotten everything i need to know to do my job well and dont want to look silly asking the same ?over and over! i'd also have to get through an interview!!!! Not done one in years, so i have insecurities up to my armpits too, lol. so how about it?
you obviously want to change your life, get the most from it and start a new adventure, so start small and see where it leads you. i will if you will!!wink

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 18:27:43

lol, will have to have a think about that one lol lol

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 18:29:17

have bought the 10 min life coach via e bay today!

thanks smile

barmymamma Sun 15-Jun-08 19:26:18

thats so cool! good on you. once you start making steps to change things,even little things like reading a book,your confidence will increase and you wil soon be enjoying life to the full.
hope you find book helpful. its like listening to your best friend telling you how great you are, but on some level it really sinks in and helps. hope you get something from it, let me know.smile

anniebear Sun 15-Jun-08 19:54:07

will do, thanks smile

will let you know in the next few days if I decide about the course also!!!!

barmymamma Thu 26-Jun-08 21:41:45

ok anniebear ive made first move and have started making calls to find a job!!!!! how you getting on??
hope you ok and getting on top of things, even if only in small way to start. keep in touch xxsmile

barmymamma Thu 31-Jul-08 19:38:55

anniebear where have you gone????
Hope your ok/ well ive done it. i had an interview this week and will hopefully start work soon. I have you to thank!! if i hadnt read your message then i wouldnt have pulled my finger out and pushed myself to get motivated. I do hope you have found what your looking for and your feeling much happier.smile let me know xx

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