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DS2 was assaulted - what do you do?

(27 Posts)
mears Sun 23-Jan-05 20:46:57

My 15years old DS2 was headbutted in the face the other night by a boy (the same age) who was probably drunk. His friend was also punched and kicked. The assault happened as they left a place where youngsters meet and was broken up by staff. DH and I were furious and called the police. This boy has a history of aggression and is a known 'ned'.
We felt that the police should deal with it as this boy is well known for assaulting others and seems to be out of control. However, I am concerned that DS will be a target at school. If we didn't inform the police then nothing at all would be done. Not sure much can be done with making a formal complaint either but this boy needs somehthing done to help him change his ways. What would you have done?

lockets Sun 23-Jan-05 20:49:09

Message withdrawn

oooggs Sun 23-Jan-05 20:50:07

Hope DS2 is ok. Not sure what I would have done.

But I am sure DH would have contacted the police and the school (so they could monitor the situation with the hope that DS isn't targeted).

Have the other parents also contacted the police?

mears Sun 23-Jan-05 20:50:34

They may well have done Lockets - Ds and his friend legged it as soon as they could. Perhaps this other boy might think that is what has happened anyway.

mears Sun 23-Jan-05 20:51:53

Yes his friend's mum called police too. The police said they would notify the school on Monday but that we should too. If there is any more trouble the police will be contacted.

Gem13 Sun 23-Jan-05 20:52:08

This sounds awful . I would have done the same. What did the police say they would do?

Is it possible to have a word with the school and ask them to keep an eye on your DS? Can you also arrange to collect DS from places where he might encounter the same boy again?

Hope he is ok.

Blossomhill Sun 23-Jan-05 20:52:34

OMG mears your poor ds, that is terrible
You have done absolutely the right thing and I hope the little s**t gets a caution at the least
Things like this make me feel so scared about mine growing up. Mind you there are so many 7 year old "thugs" it scares me.

lockets Sun 23-Jan-05 20:53:42

Message withdrawn

mears Sun 23-Jan-05 20:54:01

The police said they would investigate and if the assault was corroborated then the boy would be charged. Because he is under 16, a report will be sent to the Reporter of the Children's Panel.

lockets Sun 23-Jan-05 20:55:06

Message withdrawn

weightwatchingwaterwitch Sun 23-Jan-05 20:56:59

I'd have called the police too mears, I think you did the right thing.

JanH Sun 23-Jan-05 21:07:41

Oh, god, mears, this (or worse) is my nightmare every time DS1 goes out at night. Yes, I would have done the same thing. The fact that you at least know who did it and that he has a history of aggression should mean that it will be dealt with and not brushed away - hope it all gets sorted out and that your DS and his friend both recover quickly. I think I would also speak to the school so that they are aware and can keep an eye out.

At least it will, maybe, make them watch their backs a bit more in future - it's an ill wind. There are always drunken nutters about.

CarrieG Sun 23-Jan-05 21:11:54

Definitely tell the school - we have similar incidents depressingly often involving students at the school where I work (usually the same few nutters ).

There IS a certain amount the school can do - eg. have a short sharp word with the offending lad to ensure he knows that any further 'negative interaction' with your ds will lead to him being jumped on very heavily indeed...just so he knows he's being watched...

ionesmum Sun 23-Jan-05 21:40:50

mears, the school has a legal duty to ensure the safety of your ds. If you aren't happy with their response, threaten them with a solicitor. Also your son may be in a position to sue this boy for compensation...which might just make him (or his parents) think a bit. Where do they meet? Sound like the staff were in dereliction of duty in allowing this boy to be there drunk. And you could check out the kidscape website - I think it's (sorry, haven't mastered the link thing yet) for advice.

I would have rung the police too.

mears Sun 23-Jan-05 23:02:50

ionesmum - the drunk boy was outside the building so was there when DS and his friend came out. The injury he had was a swollen top lip that was grazed on the inside. It is still swollen (happened on Friday) but not so bad. He told me today that this boy has actually broken another boy's nose in the past head butting him. DS said he has never had trouble with him at school. He syas he only did it because he was drunk. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

juniperdewdrop Sun 23-Jan-05 23:07:45

you did the right thing mears. Did you get pics of his face?

mears Sun 23-Jan-05 23:09:48

I thought about it but didn't do it. I think the fact that the assault was witnessed by staff and also his friend is a witness, the boy will be unable to deny he did it. Policemen saw the swollen lip.

Levanna Mon 24-Jan-05 01:36:13

I think you definitely did the right thing Mears. It was a criminal assault after all. It sounds as though this lad is less of a 'bully' and more of a young lad with a drink/behaviour problem, from how your DS describes him (given a previous assault when drunk, but ok at other times). IMpE they tend to be very different patterns of behaviour. Some people are so viscious when they're drunk but it just isn't in them when sober. I hope this has brought him to his senses and with any luck he'll realise he has only himself to blame for any repercussions to his actions. I hope your DS is ok. At least he can stand proud and know he's in the right . (p.s. I can thoroughly recommend Ving Tsun (kung fu) as a spectacular self defence martial art ).

bluesky Mon 24-Jan-05 08:07:51

If there are visible injuries, it's a good idea to have it noted by a Dr, so that if it happened again by the same person, you have a record, which would prove useful.

Really sorry to hear about this Mears, hope you are all OK.

jangly Mon 24-Jan-05 08:18:45

I would think the fact that you informed the police would mean your ds is now less likely to be assaulted again by this boy. Hopefully he will be trying to keep out of trouble now, and it will be a warning for his mates. I don't see there was any other path open to you tbh. You can't just let something like that go. Hope you all feel better soon.

ghosty Mon 24-Jan-05 08:24:27

Mears, what a nightmare .... what an awful thing to happen .... ... hope you and DS are ok ....
I think you did the right thing ... I hope the police do something about it.
Hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

mears Mon 24-Jan-05 09:32:15

Contacted the school this morning - there shouldn't be a problem because the boy in question is not attending school at the moment. Apparently he will be attending the Children's Panel this afternoon anyway so this information will be added.

Levanna Mon 24-Jan-05 23:31:47

How is your DS now Mears?

dinny Mon 24-Jan-05 23:34:23

Mears, how awful. I'd have called the police too. Think you did the right thing. What is a "ned", btw?

mears Tue 25-Jan-05 09:10:58

He's fine thanks Levanna.

Dinny - a 'ned' is a boy who acts like a thug and wears a cap which sits tilted to the back of the head.


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