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Overly generous babysitter - should we do anything?

(30 Posts)
trefusis Mon 12-May-08 19:22:49

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belgo Mon 12-May-08 19:27:17

That's unusual! I would probably tell her not to bring any more gifts - tell her that present giving in your house is banned unless it's a birthday.

Cappuccino Mon 12-May-08 19:30:06

oh I don't know belgo that might make her feel awkward

why don't you say it's really lovely that you're doing this, but assure her that your children really want her company rather than her gifts, and you don't want your children to start expecting things when she comes

her coming is a present in itself <vom>

WigWamBam Mon 12-May-08 19:32:32

She sounds delightful, and I would be wary of saying too much for fear of hurting her feelings. I certainly wouldn't ban her bringing things with her, she would be mortified.

Go for what Capp said. And keep a bucket handy wink

MrsThierryHenry Mon 12-May-08 19:32:49

What a tricky one! I agree with Cappuccino, without the added vom wink. You'll need to be firm but kind with her - maybe also mention the money issue - i.e. that it doesn't make sense if she's saving for college.

Perhaps if she's really keen to spend, you could ask her to limit it to 1 £1 gift per month?

Milliways Mon 12-May-08 19:35:42

She sounds a bit like my DD who always takes things to do, and used to leae presents but as she has got more popular she collects things to take & use, and bring home (except used art materials!).

She now buys books & beads etc from school fairs so she has new things to arrive with, and when they have done the rounds she will donate to the church creche or give to a favourite child.

Maybe ask her to bring things if she likes, but to take them away after so they come with her each time?

FAWKEOFF Mon 12-May-08 19:36:13

explain that it a very generous of her to get the children gifts, why not suggest that she spend only a pound on each child everytime she babysits

funnypeculiar Mon 12-May-08 19:41:40

What a sweetie smile
Our 17 yo next door neighbour used to babysit when I was little - I worshipped her smile

Could you flip it round a little? Say that the dcs were feeling bad becuase they don't have enough pocket money to buy her any gifts in return - & discuss a good soln (home made gifts only/£1 per child) to limit 'their' guilt

2point4kids Mon 12-May-08 19:44:40

I'd say something like 'it is soooo sweet of you to buy the children all these presents but we are worried it is eating into your college fund. The children love your company more than anything, so would you mind holding off on the gifts so we can stop worrying about you' in a kind of 'arent we daft worrywart parents' kind of way...

trefusis Mon 12-May-08 19:45:31

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trefusis Mon 12-May-08 19:47:37

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funnypeculiar Mon 12-May-08 19:57:13

Exactly - nothing to do with you worrying about her money.

Would still need to be expressed carefully so that she doesn't feel that she's been putting your dds in a difficult situation, but feels like she might be the sort of lovely person who would respond to the idea that she was causing someone else distress.

If the dds could make her loads of homemade presents for her next visit, that would add to the credibility ... smile

stripeytiger Mon 12-May-08 19:58:17

Totally agree with FP, that sounds like a really good way of hopefully sorting things but not hurting her feelings. She sounds like a lovely, sweet girl.

DiscoDizzy Mon 12-May-08 20:01:18

I'd just say, oh you really shouldn't, or if you're on friendly terms with her parents, just bring it up in conversation and say you feel awful that their DD is apparently spending all her pocket money on your DD's and that she should spend it on something else. In the nicest possible way

purpleduck Mon 12-May-08 20:14:21

What is wrong with accepting it?

Not to be greedy, but she sounds like a rare individual with a truly generous heart. A lovely trait to be cultivated.

Maybe mention that ONE thing is plenty (kids these days get SO much...etc etc), but don't discourage her entirely.

Maybe could you ask for a drawing instead? (or whatever her art specialty is) That way she has given them something, but not spent money on it...?

trefusis Mon 12-May-08 20:22:00

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JosafineArmarni Mon 12-May-08 20:28:20

she sounds lovely..could you up her babysitting fee so shes not as short in pocket?

DiscoDizzy Mon 12-May-08 20:28:25

TBH I think i'd find it a bit creepy. I mean is it normal for a 17 year old to spend 2/3rd of her babysitting money on the DC's. I think not.

DiscoDizzy Mon 12-May-08 20:29:22

Up her babysitting fees????

What a crazy suggestion. They're not asking her to buy the stuff. They may as well buy it themselves before she arrives.

JosafineArmarni Mon 12-May-08 20:30:32

well its obviouslt awkward asking her to stop and if she is so nice a few extra quid wouldnt hurt would it?

DiscoDizzy Mon 12-May-08 20:36:36

Thats not the point really. Babysitting fees are a bit of a luxury really, I mean we're reasonably well off but we wouldn't want to be forking out every couple of weeks for a night out. A few quid extra each time just so she can buy presents for them is ludicrous (sp). If she stopped buying stuff would they then re-adjust fee accordingly.

trefusis Mon 22-Sep-08 21:43:49

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anyfucker Mon 22-Sep-08 21:51:52

ohhh, I remember your original thread

what a shame!

I hope she does OK, this is very sad

I don't know how old your dc are, could they send her a little good luck letter? Or sign their name to a card from them? Some recent photos?

I actually feel a bit choked for her blush

trefusis Tue 23-Sep-08 09:47:07

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dillinger Tue 23-Sep-08 15:59:44

Thats a lovely idea, I thought maybe a little necklace or something that she could keep on her person?

I hope she will be ok x

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