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Will it happen for her?

(21 Posts)
RTKangaMummy Wed 12-Jan-05 12:45:08

My best friend is 39 next week, husband 40.

she has been married 7 months

she has been on pill for over 15 years

she has been trying to get pregnant since wedding

she wants to try without drugs

BUT I think she should go to the doctor

How many of you have got pregnant after 39 without drugs etc.?

1st TIME ie not 2nd, 3rd, 4th pregnancies

Please help me to help her.

They are both healthy btw, non-smokers correct weight etc etc.

Thank you

galaxy Wed 12-Jan-05 13:17:08

I'm not 39 but I'd been on the pill for 18 years when I tried to conceive at 34 and it took 3 months. Probably not much help but just trying to put some perspective on the length of time on the pill.

It probably wouldn't hurt her to get an opinion off the doc though.

ladymuck Wed 12-Jan-05 13:19:45

In my Health TRust/Authority/whatever if you are over 35, have no kids and have been trying "properly" for 6 months then they refer you to infertility clinic. Under 35 takes one year before referral.

ladymuck Wed 12-Jan-05 13:20:54

And I think fertlility drops by 5 and 10% per annum after 37, so, if they really want kids, then its best to see GP soonest.

RTKangaMummy Wed 12-Jan-05 13:28:09

I really think that they should go

but don't want to pressure them

I used to volunteer for infertility organization and am aware of the probs

thanks galaxy at least that is reassuring that it doesn't completey mean it mess up cycles.

RTKangaMummy Wed 12-Jan-05 13:28:52


MancMum Wed 12-Jan-05 13:32:52

my friend has first pregnancy at 40, so did my auntie - both without drugs... in case of friend - first month of trying, in case of Auntie after 11 years!!

beachyhead Wed 12-Jan-05 13:33:31

my friend is due with her first in april and is 41 or 42. She had endermetrios and had her 'tubes cleaned' and told to wait for three months which she did, then got pregnant immediately.....

WigWamBam Wed 12-Jan-05 14:01:52

I wasn't quite 39 Kanga, but I was 38 when I got pregnant - despite being very overweight and on the pill at the time.

I think that you are right, and that she should see the GP fairly quickly, even if only to check out her fertility levels. The longer she leaves it the higher chance of not being able to get pregnant - but you know that already. Having worked with infertility, could you gently point out to her what the risks of waiting at her age could be?

Surfermum Wed 12-Jan-05 14:15:58

Hi Kanga - I started trying for my first at 39. I had no problem getting pregnant but did have problems keeping them. I conceived more or less straight away each time, had 2 mcs and it was 3rd time lucky for me. I don't know if that was my age or not.

jibberjabber Wed 12-Jan-05 14:25:23

my SIL fell pregnant after 9 months of trying aged 39 and they were shocked to discover twins oct 2002.

She fell pregnant again just after me last year and guess what.....yep Harry and Bella made their appearance 1 week ago!

4 kids in 2.5 years it can happen...

aloha Wed 12-Jan-05 14:33:03

Studies are few and far between but one big study indicated that at 40, almost 70% of women are still fertile. The Pill has no long term affects on fertility (indeed, theoretically it could prolong fertility as it prevents egg release). A top gynaecologist in the US that I talked to said that if a woman couldn't get pregnant at 38, the likelihood is that she wouldn't have found it any easier at 30, as it probably wasn't age related. Miscarriage does become more common as women get older. Lots of women have babies after 40 - and the numbers are growing all the time. 39 is not too old and seven months is not a particularly excessively long time to try. However, after 41 fertility can take a big dive (though that is far from true for all women) and so if there is a problem then sorting it out quickly is a priority, so, yes, it might well be worth a trip to the doctor, but it's totally her call. And of course, it takes two to get pregnant, despite our obsession with women's 'problems' and age - and the cause is due to the male partner in about 1/3 of cases (a further third remain unexplained).

aloha Wed 12-Jan-05 14:34:10

I see she's only 38. 38 is not too old at all. And it makes no difference whether it's first second third or fourth. Fertility is fertility.

iota Wed 12-Jan-05 14:36:27

see recent Broody at 43 thread here

efmach Wed 12-Jan-05 18:09:40

A friend of mine - 1st pregnancy at 39, 2nd at 42. All natural!!

californiagirl Wed 12-Jan-05 18:10:38

I got pregnant by accident at 38, first pregnancy. Was worried because this was just before my best friend, 37, on the pill for nearly 20 years, weird cycles, started trying. She got the official confirmation of her pregnancy while at the hospital with me while I was in labor!

Marina Wed 12-Jan-05 18:48:30

Aloha is right. 1st or subsequent pregnancy doesn't really make a difference.
35, 38 and 39 for me. And Arabica is another one, there are lots of us on here. Good luck to your friend Kangamummy.

RTKangaMummy Wed 12-Jan-05 19:57:16

Thankyou so much brill news and thanks for link to other fantastic thread.

I will let her know that she isnt too old but that perhaps they should think seriously about getting checked out soonish.

I think with her 39th birthday next week she was starting to worry.

I think because I have volunteered with infertility group and I was infertile she is rather worried about having to go that route.

But from all of your wonderful stories it very well may just happen.

I really hope so they would certainly make great parents

Thak you all so much

mumsnet are brill

DecafArabica Thu 13-Jan-05 12:22:44

Hello! DS was born in April 2001 when I was 39 and a half. I'm now pg with 2nd baby. Conceived straightaway both times. I don't drink much but was smoking about 5-10 cigs a day at time of conception (not suggesting this as a pregnancy aid!)

Prettybird Thu 13-Jan-05 12:35:23

Ds was born was I was 39 and 1/2. Had been trying for just over 6 months - and had just been to see the doctor, as I have a short cycle, so I had hadbeen something like 8 cycles. Had had the blood test to check that I was ovulating - the confirmation came through two days before I took my (positive) pregnancy test!

Fell pregnant 2 years later but had a missed miscarriage.

Now ttc again (at 43, going on 44) - but should probably see the doctor as am no longer convinced I am ovulating every month.

DecafArabica Fri 14-Jan-05 12:36:20

Good luck Prettybird! I'm 43 and everything's still working--so here's hoping it's good news for you too.

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