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I wish I could transport you all for a real life opinion, but as I can't..........

(34 Posts)
hollybet Thu 30-Dec-04 14:41:03

In September, I found my wedding dress and was very thrilled with it. The only thing wrong with it was that it had a very very full skirt and a large hooped underskirt and train, but the dressmaker removed the underskirt and assured me that some of the material could be removed to make it a straighter style and the train shortened - I feel that at 41 I am too old for a big full skirt and never really wanted one anyway. When I went for the first fitting I took, mil to be, mum and a mate. I tried the dress on with and without the underskirt for them and it was a unanimous decision that it looks fantastic with the underskirt and will not look as good without.
We compromised on having the train shortenend, so I went back again on my own for the second fitting and it did look better with just a small train, and the girl in the shop was saying how wonderful it was (yes, I know, she would !!) and I told her about my underskirt dilema, she had me trying on various sizes of hooped underskirt and gave me the honest opinion that it looks better with the largest underskirt.
What would you do, go back and have the material removed and wear it as a straighter style which is what I wanted, but by doing that go against the opinion of everyone who has seen it, or go with the big underskirt?
I keep considering asking different people to come with me but I don't want everyone to have seen it before hand and what if everyone I take has the same opinion?
Wedding in 7 weeks!

NameChangingMancMidlander Thu 30-Dec-04 14:43:19

Oh blimey ! I don't know. I'd be like you, in 2 minds. Of course you want to look your best, but you also want to be comfortable. If for you, that means going for the straighter style then so be it.

winterwarmmummer Thu 30-Dec-04 14:44:39

If you trust their decision ( and I guess you must if you took them with you originally) then go with it. It sounds gorgeous, and I bet you look stunning.

winterwarmmummer Thu 30-Dec-04 14:45:18

Nothing like a split opinion eh!!

sparklynorthernstar Thu 30-Dec-04 14:45:41

Hmm it's a tough one. I would say go with what you feel happiest in, but seeing as a lot of people like it with the underskirt it ovbiously looks fab this way.

Do you hate it with the underskirt?

hollybet Thu 30-Dec-04 14:49:36

I don't hate it, but it's not what I wanted and I think that I could look ridiculous in such a big skirt at my age

NameChangingMancMidlander Thu 30-Dec-04 14:50:42

You do sound pretty sure that you don't want the bigger skirt. I think you've answered your own question

Donbean Thu 30-Dec-04 14:50:46

Its your dress, your wedding your day, if you wanted to get married in nipple tassles and bamuda shorts you do it. You get married in which ever you feel beautiful wearing.....both probably, sorry im crap with these things. I bet you look gorgeous in them all.x
ps its nearly the year you get married...exciting x

motherinfestivemood Thu 30-Dec-04 14:51:27

Hmmmm....IKWYIM about worrying about feeling a bit muttony, but do you really not suit it at 41? Or is that you're worried that you do?

Mum2girls Thu 30-Dec-04 14:51:45

Do you just dislike the idea of the underskirt, or do you really not like what you see?

KateandtheElves Thu 30-Dec-04 14:51:48

You're hardly an old lady! I wouldn't worry about how you're "supposed" to dress at your age, but go with which you like better.

motherinfestivemood Thu 30-Dec-04 14:52:25

Can you take your most stylish friend and force her to be absolutely frank?

colditzcolditzcold Thu 30-Dec-04 14:52:44

A full skirt makes your waist look slimmer, and the fuller it is, the slimmer your waist will look.

That advice came via a very well dressed friend, as I have no advice, being a badly dreesed toddlermummy myself.

Twiglett Thu 30-Dec-04 14:53:01

do you feel ridiculous in it?

then go with your gut instinct

is there no way you can try on a dress that is similar to what you imagined to see if it actually will suit you .. might take a day's shopping to find one

I think THE most important thing is for you to feel totally happy with what you're wearing for your wedding

FWIW I don't think age has anything to do with wearing a full skirt though

can you show us pictures of it? which shop / designer .. could it be online???

Twiglett Thu 30-Dec-04 14:53:41

the other thing is can't the seamstress pin it so you can see what it would look like .. take friend / family to see the difference and get their opinions

motherinfestivemood Thu 30-Dec-04 14:55:02

I have to say I'm operating on the principle that my 41-year-old bod might as well get its last outings in the public eye

motherinfestivemood Thu 30-Dec-04 14:58:09

Do you look, and feel, like a stylish sex-goddess in it? That's what you want, surely - a frock in which you will catch every envious eye in the place.

JanH Thu 30-Dec-04 15:00:52

You so do not look anywhere near 41, lilibet! FWIW I don't think you would look at all muttony, just lamby and extremely gorgeous too.

pantomimEDAMe Thu 30-Dec-04 15:03:10

Never mind the '41' thing, it's what feels best to you. If you ignore the age thing, do you feel special in the larger skirt? Do you feel like a princess? And how do you feel with the straighter skirt?
Go with whichever makes you feel special and please don't worry about 'at my age'. No-one ever wears anything like a wedding dress in ordinary life so you can't apply the same rules you'd normally follow when buying dresses.
I've just been wedding dress shopping with my sister who got an engagement ring for Christmas (actually both my sisters did ) and the dress that was the right one just made her smile when she wore it. There were other lovely dresses, including one I really liked, but whenever she put on the one her face just lit up. Ask the person with you which version makes you smile!

hollybet Thu 30-Dec-04 15:34:57

There is a picture on line, but it's not much help as it's only of the top!

The skirt is plain.
poppy at the bottom of the page

but the skirt looks straighter in that picture than in real life

I think I have to go with what I want, but I'm really not sure

hunkermunker Thu 30-Dec-04 16:29:57

Hi HB - congrats on your wedding (nearly typed weeding then, thank goodness for preview!).

If you go for the big skirt, can it be looped up at the back after you're wed so that it gives you a different look and more room to move?

Mine had a relatively long train and quite a full skirt (was very plain, cream Thai silk - yum!) and I had ribbons under the skirt at the back. It looked really pretty when it was caught up at the back - good for dancing too!

Not sure if this would work with your dress - go with how you feel most comfortable, since it's your wedding and your dress!

juniperdewdrop Thu 30-Dec-04 16:31:22

it looks beautiful, pity you couldn't get them to take a pic of you both ways and put them on here for our vote

Plus seeing yourself in a pic may help you?

cupcakes Thu 30-Dec-04 16:45:11

Having seen the picture I think you should go for the straight skirt. The top half is quite simple and I think it suits a slimmer profile. Plus if you know in your heart of hearts that that is what you prefer you should go for it. Imagine which version you would regret not wearing.

TinyGang Thu 30-Dec-04 17:04:58

I was going to suggest you have a few photographs taken with both looks and perhaps different sized underskirts. Could the skirt be held/pinned at the back while the photo is done to get the straighter style. Are you wearing a veil? Different styles of veil and head-dress can alter the look and the balance of a dress too.

Often looking at a picture of yourself gives a totally different image, cameras not lying and all that sort on thing.

It's a beautiful dress but it's important you feel your best in it. Congratulations btw!!!

motherinfestivemood Thu 30-Dec-04 18:49:15

I like it. But does it make you feel like a stylish sex-goddess???

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