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stressful times ahead - might be long....

(11 Posts)
blossom2 Tue 21-Dec-04 14:36:02

I'm a little uneasy about posting this, but do need some words of comfort and ways of coping.

We recently moved to Paris with our DD (2yrs8mths) and I think we're doing oday, that was up until last week. We moved because of DH's job and for loads of other good reasons. We then found out 4 weeks ago, i was pregnant and due in August 05 - scary but excited.

Unfortunately I'm having terrible morning sickness which has left me exhausted. DH has been fantastic and looked after DD on weekends while i slept. DD is also at nursery 1 day and 2 afternoons a week, so i do get some time to rest. However DH's work situation as taken a turn for the worest and over the next few months, he is going to be working really hard - doesn't get home until 9pm as it is. He's also finding the language (he has no business french) and the different work ethic very stressful - its a stressful job!!

So i'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I know next year is going to be really hard - dealing with a pregnancy, being away from home and trying to help DH cope with his job. I'm not sure what to do, apart from just weather the storm (IYKWIM) and take each day as it comes ....

anyone got any good ideas on how to cope with the times ahead ????

LIZS Tue 21-Dec-04 14:50:57

Not sure how long you've been there but it was a good 6 - 9 months before we felt more comfortable having moved abroad. In that time I'd had dd too. Congratulations on pg.

It does get easier over time (which sounds like a cliche but looking bakc was true). The niggles bug you less and you accept some of the differences more readily. If you have the chance of improving your French, taking a class would help you feel more at home and socialise, beofre the new baby arrives. Take comfort from the fact that home isn't that far away and if you can persuade friends and family to pop over for the occasional weekend that will give you something to work towards. It will be hard, having dh working long hours and being pregnant with a toddler in tow, but that could well have been the case in UK too. If dh gets really unhappy, do you have a contingency - would they repatriate you, for example - and can you set yourself shortish time scales to review how things go so that you could move before the baby comes if need be.

hth

MistltAeroAndWine Tue 21-Dec-04 15:54:55

I often wondered how you were all doing over there - I imagined it wouldn't be easy at first anyway. I'm sure as time goes on, you'll make some good friends and hopefully it will begin to feel more like home.
It's good you're online now, so there'll always be someone on mn to chat to esp at night when dd has gone to bed and dh is still working.
It's a stressful time for all of you, but also an exciting one, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
I guess, just take one day at a time and rest as much as you can in these early stages of pregnancy and hopefully in a few weeks you'll feel physically at least a bit more human!
Be kind to yourself, and home really isn't too far away for visiting if you need to.

Cadeauxbury Tue 21-Dec-04 15:59:39

Don't have any wise words. Just wanted to send you a hug. Come and rant to us. Hang in there.

MistltAeroAndWine Tue 21-Dec-04 17:03:53

bumpity bump for Blossom2!

GoodKingWestCountryLass Tue 21-Dec-04 22:14:29

I don't live abroad but my DH works long hour, usually away from home 3 nights p/week, and has a stressful job. When I was pregnant I used to sleep when my DS had a sleep in the day and if he did not nap I would go to bed when he went to bed. Of course that meant letting the housework slip a bit but there were days I could catch up.

I did live in France for nearly a year when I was 19 and so I can appreciate your DH must be finding it difficult to acclimatise. There is not much you can do to help your DH cope apart from what yo are doing, being supportive and being there and going through it with him.

Hang on in there! I hope everything works out for you both.

oopsanta Tue 21-Dec-04 22:17:38

Hey Blossom2,
can't really help much apart from sympathise.
I'm also suferring worse than in last pg with ms and feel shite all of the time.
I understand how you feel, dh is doing well here so far, but I feel so bad that there is so much to do with 15month old. Can't stomach the fridge and so am giving ds lots of bread and bananas.
Hope you feel better soon, this first trimester is rubbish- but it doesn't last forever.
(((HUGS)))

blossom2 Tue 21-Dec-04 22:18:46

God, it is so hard. DH is poorly as well with earache and sore throat but typical male wont go to the doctors until he's really dying.
And DD has mild conjunctivis (i think). mild mikly discharge from her eyes in the afternoon/evenings. It only started yesterday but will make appointment to see the doctor tomorrow/thursday.

I guess it's just taking each day as it comes.

thank you

KatieinSpain Tue 21-Dec-04 23:22:06

Hi Blossom2,
Congratulations!

I found my second pregnancy flew in comparison with the first time round, largely because I was also running around after a toddler.

How long have you moved to France for, are you setting down roots or just passing through? Is there anyone who can come visit and lend a hand for the really stressful points? There must be quite a large English speaking community there - I'd say getting in touch with them would make a real difference, either short or long-term.

I hope it is of some comfort that my cousin, who has had two babies since moving to France, swears by their healthcare system.

Don't forget you can always go back to the UK for a break if you need to. It isn't opting out more like regenerating your energy. And don't forget to pamper yourself, too - I always hit Amazon when I need a treat!

Bonne chance!

cab Wed 22-Dec-04 01:31:28

Could you afford to get an English aupair for a bit of company and help?

cab Wed 22-Dec-04 01:36:09

Alternatively, contact the nearest uni and see if there's a student from England who might want to supplement their grant by helping you out with dinner/bathtime?

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