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god sometimes I just think my kids are really really thick

(157 Posts)
Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 09:51:22

my 3.5 year old just can't count

she just can't

1,2, pee ummmm pour 8 pie ten

and she wants to do these stupid letts study books because she loves them

but she's driving me mad

how difficult is it


twentypence Sat 05-Jan-08 01:05:15

martianbishop - I usually end up teaching the "cabbage maths" type child (their expression not mine!) improper fractions because without it they will have no chance with understanding and reading music.

After a very frustrating 5 minutes ds (who is 4) can usually be heard to say from the living room. "8 quavers make 4 crochets, HOW LONG CAN IT TAKE TO GET THAT?!"

Funnily enough the music student's concentration is kickstarted by a 4 year old suggesting they are stupid.

Swedes2Turnips1 Fri 04-Jan-08 23:23:21

From a very bright 12 year old to aunt:
'Thank you for the party'

Aunt: Aw, thank you for coming, I hope it wasn't boring'

'Nah, I'v been to even more boring parties'

AnneMayesR Fri 04-Jan-08 16:10:55

Oh my god I laughed so hard reading this thread. I thought I was the only mum in the world who feels this way. My 2 year old is gifted and knows his time tables.

My older two are as thick as pig shit and I could strangle them.

Blandmum Fri 04-Jan-08 15:44:00

DD is 'doing' improper fractions. (she is 11, and at this rate will be fortunate to get to 12)

Or rather she is not doing them, And I'm about to have a thrombo.

2 7/8 as an improper fraction

'OK' says I, 'How many eighths in 1'

'OK' says I, how many quarters, make up a whole 1'


I draw a circle, and divide it into 4. 'How many quarters in 1 whole circle?'


So how many Eighths in a whole 1?


ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHH. It was so hard it was not to yell, 'Oh FFS!!!!!!!!!!'

It was only years of training and teaching, let me tell you!

GreebosWhiskers Fri 04-Jan-08 15:11:29

Years ago my dsis patiently sat & taught the theory of gravity to dd (then aged about 8). dd then proudly announced that she knew all about it & proceeded to give a very lucid explanation, which impressed us all no end. Unfortunately she spoilt it a bit by asking , 'but Auntie X, how does gravity get upstairs?'grin

MuthaHubbard Fri 04-Jan-08 14:40:51

I should add that we were going for our lunch, not to ply her with alcohol!! (though sometimes I wonder....)

MuthaHubbard Fri 04-Jan-08 14:40:07

My dd came along to my ww meeting yesterday (as not back at school yet).

At the end of the meeting she kept saying very loudly - WHEN ARE WE GOING TO THE PUB/MUMMY WE REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE PUB - in a mad alcoholic-needing-a-fix type of way.

MrsWeasley Fri 04-Jan-08 09:48:20

ROFL Classic absolute classic. This thread is wonderful grin

<<wipes tears from eyes before kids ask "Mum, are you on that thread again? >>

bluedomino Fri 04-Jan-08 00:40:20

My brother was called into school about his DD (approx 8yo ish). She had coloured in a waterfall picture beautifully, it had flowers, birds & a rainbow. Then she had to write about how the picture made her feel - "Lonely, dark, alone with only eggs to eat". Brother asked her if that was really how she felt, to which she laughed and said "no, I just love the look on the teacher face when I write that stuff".

This is the same child that when we were going out one day I asked did I look OK, she said yes, she'd seen people looking a lot worse.

ibblewob Thu 03-Jan-08 18:36:11

pmsl at this thread, agree with AbbeyA but her posts weren't nearly as funny grin

Where have I heard that the best thing for kids is not to have any formal education until they're 6 or 7? Sounds good to me... Means I don't have to worry about this with my little one for at least 4 years!

MrsWeasleysmagicmincepies Thu 03-Jan-08 00:27:51

Dont worry AbbeyA you will soon learn who is who, so to speak, on here. Some names crop up more often and you get a sense of their level of humour. grin

OH BTW Welcome to the crazy world that is MN.


pinkandsparkly Thu 03-Jan-08 00:10:39

Oh god, just remebered the joys of trying to teach the concepts of floating and sinking, volume and quantity to 3-5 year olds.

I actually really enjoyed doing this but would sometimes want to bang my head on the table with utter frustration!!!!

Also, trying to explain money values to young children who want to buy sweets with the tiny bit of change you have in your purse that you've just given them, and you haven't given them the EXACT same coins

" He's got more than me"

"No, you've both got 20p, he's just got more coppers than you"

"yeah but he's got more"

*Deep breath, count to ten........*

AbbeyA Wed 02-Jan-08 22:35:10

My favourite with my ds was:
'one body' and 'all the bodies'.

Before he went to school I had to tell him that it was really somebody and everybody!

Twiglett Wed 02-Jan-08 21:53:05

AbbeyA .. you're right (and rather brave too .. kudos grin) .. I was just mouthing off at my level of frustration rather than really thinking my kids are thick ... I found it more amusing to vent on here .. don't worry

and I farkin' hate those Letts books <harrumph>

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 21:36:44

PrufrockingAroundTheXmasTree grin That sounds just like the sort of thing I'd say!

Swedes2Turnips1 Wed 02-Jan-08 21:31:13

It's lovely blaming the thick thing on the other side, the other parent - it comes so bloody naturally. grin However, should the lapse in clarity hail from your own genes the frustration is magnified x100 as there is nothing more infuriating than your own shortcomings, simplified and amplified. Gorgeous.

MaLopez Wed 02-Jan-08 20:33:49

One day it will all fall into place as long as I don't teach ever!

Have fond memories of DD learning how to read. She will sound out D O G, and then say Goat.

The best one was asking her which number was bigger, 0 or 1. She kept saying 0! We went over all the facts. 0 being nothing, etc and then she said 0 was fat and round, while 1 was skinny. I went to bed after that

PrufrockingAroundTheXmasTree Wed 02-Jan-08 20:31:26

Oi fortyplus that's not thick, just temporarily incapacitated.. In 1999 Dh and I were in Egypt at the son et lumiere show at the pyramids. They were advertising the upcoming millenium celebrations and I said "isn't it amazing to think that next year people are going to be celebrating the turn of the millenium at the same place as people celebrated it 4000 years ago" "yeah" he said " amazing" and about 5 seconds later we both realised....

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 20:21:04

Sorry! Me being thick now! He said 'But how do we know that Jesus was born in the year 07?'


fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 20:19:42

When I was reminding ds2 (12) about the true meaning of Christmas, we had the conversation about the first Christmas and I was prompting him about what happened 2000 years ago. So he said 'But how do we know that Jesus was born in 2007?' Derrrr.....

My early 7yo can not

tell her left from her right
get herself dressed or undressed
cannot zip up a coat, put on a hate, put on mittens, or even put on velcro strap shoes.

She is dim to the point where I feel like banging my head (or hers) against a wall.

She has a very poor concept of maths and her handwriting is awful. I keep expecting her teacher to call me in for a chat.

AbbeyA Wed 02-Jan-08 20:07:48

Sorry-only just found the board-taking it too literally-apologies!

PrufrockingAroundTheXmasTree Wed 02-Jan-08 20:04:18

Abbey - I can quite safely say from knowing twig on here for a long time that she definately doesn't believe that her dd is thick, nor does she ever (OK often) let her see that she is frustrated with her "stupidity". So please don't worry that we are all actually saying to our kids what we are saying on here smile

AbbeyA Wed 02-Jan-08 18:43:04

Perhaps I am taking it too seriously, I have got past the pre school stage so look back on it fondly! I know it can be frustrating-I think it was just the thought of a poor little 3yr old wanting to learn and not getting it!

Niecie Wed 02-Jan-08 18:34:27

Pmsl at this thread too.

I have just spent 20 minutes with DS1 (7yo) trying to write his Christmas thank you letters. Doesn't matter how many times I tell him he still does the tall letters the same size as all the other letters and capital letters are even smaller! Arghh!

And why can't he copy what I have written for him? You would think I could have written it out and he could simply have copied it word for word but oh no. I had to sit with him for every bl**dy letter!

And now DS2 wants me to build some Lego car which is way too old for him. He got if for Christmas from some kind friend who has no children and doesn't realise the tedium of doing Lego all afternoon and being told to put the laptop down so I can get one with it - "have you finished it yet Mummy?" What a treasure!

Oh well, one of them is back to school tomorrow.

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