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Please tell me to pull myself together, its not like its the first time!!!

(23 Posts)
Flower3554 Tue 25-Sep-07 16:31:04

This morning I've had a phone call from an adoption worker who wants to visit on Friday to discuss what sort of family my placement needs.

I knew this was coming, Ive done it loads of times before, so why am I sooooo sad.

He will be with me weeks and weeks yet but this brings it home as the next step.

Kick my backside hard pleasesad

kitsandbits Tue 25-Sep-07 16:32:29

Sorry are you a fosterer - and they are trying to find an adoptive family for your foster child?

that must be very hard

fryalot Tue 25-Sep-07 16:33:08

<<<takes a big, long run up>>>>

s'only natural that you feel this way - you'd be a crap carer if you didn't care.

<<<strokes flower's hair instead of kicking her>>>

Flower3554 Tue 25-Sep-07 16:33:24

Yes kits I am, for 20 years nowshock

fireflyfairy2 Tue 25-Sep-07 16:33:48

Aw pet, what age is the little one?

It will be hard. My cousin used to foster & it was a very worthwhile but very hard thing for her to do.

Chirpygirl Tue 25-Sep-07 16:34:08

No backside kicking here, I think the fact that you are so upset shows how seriously you take fostering.
I could not do what you are doing and have nothing but respect and sympathy.
My neighbours have finally decided not to take on any more children under 10 as it is too hard to say goodbye to them.

Now, as I am not kicking your arse, go and buy a pack of chocolate biscuits and eat the lot!

kitsandbits Tue 25-Sep-07 16:34:36

Wow congratulations, seriously - its a wonderful thing you do.

You should be really proud of yourself.

I dont think i have what it takes!

Flower3554 Tue 25-Sep-07 16:34:44

I'm usually ok up to the final week but this time.........

the little darling pinched my heartsad

Flower3554 Tue 25-Sep-07 16:37:21

He's almost 9 months, been with me since he was two days old. Oh lord I don't think I can do this anymoresad

mishymoo Tue 25-Sep-07 16:37:39

It really is a wonderful thing you do and always remember that if it wasn't for people like you, what would happen to these DCs?

It must be hard having to say goodbye all the time especially when there is always one that will affect you more than any other! My heart goes out to you!

I certainly couldn't do what you do so be very, very proud!

twofalls Tue 25-Sep-07 16:39:57

Oh, flower, that must be so tough. We'll kick your backside if you really think that is what it takes but it sounds like you need a bit of hug and to talk about it.

saythatagain Tue 25-Sep-07 16:43:22

I am in awe of people like you, which I know sounds corny but totally true. It takes a very special human being to do what you do - keep strong ((((hugs))))) x

Hulababy Tue 25-Sep-07 16:43:59

Flower - you do such a wondeful job. The fact that you are sad is what no doubt makes you such a wonderful carer for these children.

ConnorTraceptive Tue 25-Sep-07 16:48:22

gosh 2 days old no wonder your heart is breaking sad but how wonderfull that he had a great start with you from the begining

funnypeculiar Tue 25-Sep-07 16:50:21

You can't really be expecting a kicking for being a lovely, lovely, wonderful, caring person smile
He's a lucky thing to have had you for so long.

twofalls Tue 25-Sep-07 16:54:35

Why do you think you feel sadder than usual with this little one flower? Is it because he has been with you since he was so young. Bless him, he has been such a lucky little boy.

Pixiefish Tue 25-Sep-07 16:55:48


Flower3554 Tue 25-Sep-07 17:09:07

I don't know why this one has grabbed me so much, not something I can put into words anyway.

He is a lovely cuddly baby who has smiled very early and he is is just the happiest little one who rarely cries, perhaps thats ithmm

I do love all the babies I care for and I miss them like mad when they leave but it doesnt usually get to me this early.

I don't want to spend the time I have left with him feeling down about him leaving. I think thats where the kick might come in handy.

twofalls Tue 25-Sep-07 17:14:33

he sounds a little angel and so lucky to have had you looking after him.

Do you know anything about where he is going? Can you think about how happy he is going to make his new family who desperately want him? Would focusing on that help? I don't really know what to suggest never having been in your position so that might sound trite.

It must be so hard giving them up after you have cared for them and they have become part of your life. I think you just have to take it day by day and enjoy each one as it comes.

Pixiefish Tue 25-Sep-07 18:58:42

If that's what you want flower- hae a (gentle) kick up the bum

Scootergrrrl Tue 25-Sep-07 19:01:46

There's no chance you could keep him? I know very little about fostering and how the system works but if it breaks your heart to lose him, is that the alternative?
Tell me I'm being an eejit and everyone can come and kick me instead smile

anniebear Tue 25-Sep-07 19:41:46

My friend adopted a 14 month old little boy about 6 months ago, the foster parents were distraught as they had him from Birth, even visited hom daily whilst he was in SCBU

The Foster Mum said she will never take a young baby on again and cried when she went to visit him......

so I really do sympathise with you, this baby must feel like your own and he is obviously very fortunate to have had you for his 'parents' for the first year of his life

you must be very sad. I couldnt possibly kick your backside smile

hippipotami Tue 25-Sep-07 19:45:51

There is no way I could kick your backside, only offer you lots of chocolate.

It must be so so hard, but at the same time, how wonderful he is going to his forever permanent family.

People like you are truly amazing, and the fact that you feel sad about him leaving shows what a fantastic foster mum you are.
I take my hat off to you, you are a star.

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