Does anyone else wonder what the hell happened? I look in the mirror and i see an overweight, unfit, hagged-looking 36 year old women Sometimes i just don't recognise myself. It feels like i have done nothing of consequence with my life and am going nowhere.
I know I'm feeling sorry for myself so please feel free to ignore me but at the moments its all getting me down. DS is 7 and has SN and at the moment his nehaviour is off the wall and completely exhausting. To top it off i have spent the last 3 years doing a masters with the OU with the idea that when i was finished i could get a good job, doing something i enjoyed for a reasonable wage. Its just occurred to me that in spite of the fact that i will be finsihed in a couple of weeks that there is no way that i can get a job anytime soon because DS behaviour is so unpredictable
Hopefully he'll be doing better in a couple of years time and things will be different but today i feel so trapped by this and resentul as well (which of course makes me feel guilty as DS can't help having SN)
I keep thinking of the lyrics from that song (I think its Talking Heads)about this not being my life and how did i get here. Does anyone else feel like this?