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Relate counseling, does it work.

(8 Posts)
Skribble Sat 08-Sep-07 21:52:18

I was going to put this in lone parents then I realised you wouldn't be a lone parent if it has worked for you.

I don't know if he will even consider it but I want to try anything.

Realised it cost £45 per hr, bugger we are skint and he will need a lot more persueding at that cost, mind you his family and our freinds would probably chip in they all seem to care so much and think he has lost the plot.

39andcounting Sat 08-Sep-07 22:02:28

Hi there,

We went to relate for psycho sexual counselling. Sounds evil doesnt it ! However, you only have to pay to your means so if you are struggling then you could negotiate a cheaper price !

Didnt feel right with me as you know that the counsellor needs to be paid, rent for the building they are using etc but if you do need it than try asking. Dont ask, dont get !

Good luck.

keziah Sat 08-Sep-07 22:13:47

Hi Skribble. sorry you are going through this. My husband and I went there about ten years ago and it was helpful. There is a very good book by Andrew Marshall (he's an experienced relate counsellor) called 'I love you but i'm not in love with you. I think you might find it helpful. It has good reviews on Amazon. Also, my personal favourite self help author, Michele Weiner Davis who wrote "the divorce remedy". She is so positive and sensible, and she also says that a marriage can be saved even with only one person trying! www.amazon.co.uk/Divorce-Remedy-WEINER-DAVIS/dp/0684873257/ref=sr_1_1/026-3262617-6694045?ie=UTF8&s= books&qid=1189285711&sr=1-1 . Good luck to you x

Skribble Sat 08-Sep-07 23:05:12

Thanks for the info, I will have a look at that book.

Been talking to freind on the phone and she recons he is not right and is probably haveing some kind of breakdown. He is like a zombie, with no emotion, no regret no nothing, only hint of emotion is when I hammer it home about the kids. I think its not just him putting on a brave face, I think he has lost the plot.

39andcounting Sun 09-Sep-07 08:28:01

Hi Skribble,

Sounds like your husband is very depressed. Think your GP should be the first port of call rather than relate. Does rather sound like he has shut down. Has something happened to cause this, death in the family, redundancy at work. However there does not always have to be a reson for depression.

See if you can get him to the Docs or go and ask your GP what they think. He may need some form of help as in tablets and or counselling. Keep your chin up, I know its tough. smile

Skribble Wed 12-Sep-07 20:36:18

Shut down describes him very well, I think the combination of our relationship stagnating and all the stress he has at work plus never ending debt has probably crushed him.

woodstock3 Wed 12-Sep-07 21:10:47

we went to relate about four years ago before we got married. didnt prevent us breaking up then but might've had dp as he was then actually kept going! we're now married so something must've stuck - i found it reallly changed my way of thinking. relate work on the principle nobody should be excluded by inability to pay you pay what you can. agree re gp, if debt is a big part of it citizens advice bureau might help also. my mum was a relate counsellor for years and always said money was the biggest root cause of problems. good luck hope it works out for you.

Skribble Wed 12-Sep-07 22:26:13

Well he is due in later so I will find out if he wll consider anything

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