Slagging Off The Childcare Gurus

[susanmt]

I'll not start it, I just created the thread!!

[ScummyMummy]

Fantastic thread, susanmt! I'm gonna start with... Miriam Stoppard. Doesn't even write her own books and scared me witless with her assertion that mouthing things past 18 months is a sure sign of developmental delay. A big thumbs down...

[WideWebWitch]

Hate Ms Stoppard too. And there was a "what not to eat when you're pregnant" book that I burnt because it made me so cross when I was pregant. Can't remember who it's by though.

[ScummyMummy]

And how about those 'What to Expect...' people? Such very poor prose and such a lot of it!

[WideWebWitch]

Definitely the American "What to expect" series. Their book (lent to me by well meaning American friends) said that home birth was positively dangerous but that in the UK it's slightly safer because "there is a team of flying doctors on hand for home births" or some such nonsense!

[ScummyMummy]

And how about dear Sheila "I orgasm when I have a baby and so should you" Kitzinger?

[susanmt]

I'm afraid my No1 hate is the well loved Ms Ford. All the C* about not looking at your baby, feeding by the clock, leaving littlies to cry, not taking them in bed with you. In fact, if someone had written a book called 'this is the way susan will not bring up her children' then this would have been that book.
And the 'What to Expect ...' ones. My goodness, if i had eaten what they said you should eat in pregnancy I would be away to nothing. We need someone to write the 'why you need chocolate and an occasional glass of wine while you're expecting' book.
I think I could probably go for all of them to tell you the truth. I hate the very idea that there is a 'way' to do it, the only way is my way and my child's way, and you can pick and choose bits from all of them to fit your own philosophy.
Best parenting guide I have ever found - Mumsnet. A bit of everything and no judging you. Thats what we could do with more of!

[susanmt]

ROFL Scummymummy!
Didn't you?

[Bozza]

In fact Scummymummy - you had twins so should have been able to manage a multiple orgasm, I would have thought...

[bells2]

Ha ha Scummy! Not so long ago I was standing at a drinks party when the subject of Miriam Stoppard came up. As is my habit, I waded in with "I think she's a complete old bag who talks utter rubbish" only to be met with, "She's my stepmother".

Re Ms Ford, besides her bombastic style which I loathe, my chief gripe with her is her view (dogmatically expressed) that the current thinking that babies will gradually evolve into a routine on their own is wrong. She says this is proven by the hundreds of parents who write to her telling her of their desperation. Well she's hardly likely to hear from those for whom it has worked is she?.

[sis]

Thank you for restoring my faith in my decision not to read any books on pregnancy after scaring myself witless reading the miscarriage stats. I often wonder weather ds would have benefitted from my having read up a bit on parenting rather than have parents who sort of muddled through until dh bought 'Toddler Taming' as neither of us knew how and when toilet training should start!

[susanmt]

Yes, I have to take back a bit of that about GF - it's not the things she says, all the things I said she said have been said by others too. It's the patronising way it is said, even in the Mumsnet Q&A session - kind of
'Well, if you WANT to take RISKS with your children then thats YOUR choice'
as if anyone with half a brain would be doing it her way. Owwwww she makes me mad. Nearly as mad as the people (no-one here, I add, Mumsnet did restore my faith a bit) who follow it to the letter and then suggest that you should be doing it too (OOOOOH my old HV!!)
Rant over!

[Harrysmum]

Do mothers-in-law count in this one too?

[Lucy123]

Another vote for Gina Ford. Her book was all I had when I first got home from hospital (no midwife visits/hv here) and I was completely paranoid for the first few days that she wasn't eating enough (GF advises that you should NEVER let the child suckle on an empty breast). Could have done without that.

But the biggest thumbs down came when I looked up colic - "none of the babies I have cared for have suffered from colic" - nuff said.

[Glee]

Ooh, I hate those "What to Expect" books too...sanctimonious, preachy, unrealistic ...... and what amazes me is that they are best sellers here in the US (currently #4 on NY Times bestseller list). My favorite books were the "Girlfriends' Guide" books by Vicki Iovine because they were funny and gave practical, real-life advice (although they could be a bit coy at times).

[Demented]

Gina Ford again and I haven't even read her book but I've heard enough about it to know it's not for me.

[ScummyMummy]

Annabel Karmel, the woman who makes thousands from telling us how to mush up carrots, is another who gets my goat somewhat. Probably jealousy... what an easy way to earn your daily kingsmill.

[bossykate]

I find it rather baffling that people seem to be unable to separate tone/style from content in these books!

I have found the "What to Expect..." series really useful - don't agree with all of it however. Two examples. I don't think it is actually possible to follow the best odds diet to the letter if you eat only three meals per day, and some really strange cultural bias against nurseries - coming from a country where it is considered acceptable to leave small children with an untrained au pair for 60 hours per week! I really like the level of detail, the month by month guides and the generally comprehensive approach.

Well, I have said it before, but I found CLB very handy - applied with common sense. As for the dogmatic tone - well it just made dh and I laugh out loud sometimes!

I would nominate Penelope Leach's "Your Baby and Child" - an utter waste of paper.

I would also nominate those who slate GF and CLBB - without having actually read the book. Surely this doesn't apply to anyone on mumsnet

[Kia]

DONT get me started on dear P Leach esq!

[janh]

um - sorry - I rather liked P Leach. I had my first child in a very isolated situation, in NY, with no HV-type backup and no extended family/friends, and I found her very down-to-earth and reassuring. This was 20 years ago - there is probably better advice available now but she was a lifeline to me.

[Demented]

That's me bossykate, had barely heard of the woman before coming on Mumsnet. I have read an article she wrote for Practical Parenting on breastfeeding mind you and didn't find it terribly helpful IMO it seemed to make things more complicated than they needed to be. Also having read what others on Mumsnet have said about her routines I know they are not for me before I use up my time and energy reading the book. Each to their own I just personally prefer that my baby comes with no instructions!