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Husband's family so negative

(4 Posts)
Minihappybaker Mon 07-Oct-19 09:38:10

Hi, hoping someone can give me some advice as I'm losing the plot here. We live in New Zealand but are back in the UK visiting family. My husband's family are so negative about everything it is draining the life out of me. They constantly complain about everything and always bring it back to politics. In my opinion they have quite racist and prejudice views which I find quite hard to stomach and they have a total victim mentality. They cant (or wont) travel over to NZ to visit us so we have to come back every year as we feel it's important for them to see their grandson. They make us feel guilty for living overseas and I find the general atmosphere in the house stifling and unbearable. It's going to sound really hippy but I can literally feel the negative energy in my body and it's stopping me from sleeping. Any ideas for how to cut away and enjoy our trip?

Teddybear45 Mon 07-Oct-19 09:42:02

Yes I find the same of my DH’s family in India. MIL won’t even call us and pleads poverty despite BIL earning huge money (even by UK standards). I find DH key in managing them tbh and will switch off if their negativity gets too personal (they love saying how lucky I have it in the UK, despite me being the only DIL in the extend family that works full time, commutes, and doesn’t have a cleaner!).

Minihappybaker Mon 07-Oct-19 09:46:01

@teddybear45 it sucks doesnt it!! My husband is pretty good at shutting them down too but it really gets to him even more than me sometimes. Any advice on how to deal?

Teddybear45 Mon 07-Oct-19 09:50:51

Honestly DH just shuts them down firmly and loudly often by remind them how lucky they have it. I think a lot of is because they still expect DH to be the provider in the family (BIL is older but took a long time to get on his feet). Not sure how applicable that is to your DH. As for the racist comments DH refuses to hear them and often shuts family members up by saying that’s how British people feel about Indians lol.

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