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Christmas - Should it be just for kids?

(6 Posts)
Melyn Fri 04-Oct-19 23:22:49

Hey, so I thought I'd ask your opinions on something, my parents have always been the type to not do Christmas when my sibling and I became adults and it was brilliant, there was and is no pressure to give gifts to eachother, we just enjoyed eachother's company without the stress of finding presents, but when I joined my dh's family, they ALL give gifts to eachother. Every adult to every adult and to me it's a waste of money and energy going out finding tacky gifts for adults that they probably won't like and will re-gift. Altogether I could easily spend £300 on dh's family, excluding any gifts we buy for ds (which is usually around £200) and we can never afford to buy gifts for eachothee because we spend so much money on the rest of the family. It's so expensive and tiring.
Anyone else just think it should be for the kids (and maybe eachother partner's too)?

Love51 Fri 04-Oct-19 23:35:26

Christmas is for everyone!
Gifts on the other hand...
My family do gifts but more like a book than an iPad.
DHs family give very generously. We had a baby at the same time as another sibling and agreed with that couple to just buy for the kids, which is frankly more fun. You can astound a 5 year old with a £10 gift. We still buy for the many other siblings though. I'd be upset to be told / asked / hinted not to buy for my parents, so I don't do it to him. Other married in family member suggested a secret Santa, but with half, full and cross sibs, no one got on board.
It is tricky taking on another families way of doing things. I think try to do so graciously, it isn't the in laws place to disrupt the family. If your husband wants to change things, however, that's his choice.

JoanLewis Fri 04-Oct-19 23:44:31

We do gifts for all adults in our families. But not tacky shit. Also not super expensive. Books, etc. Some of us do a 'gift list' of stuff we'd like to help with ideas. We all love giving and receiving gifts!

Nicola1892 Sat 05-Oct-19 06:30:32

We only give gifts to children and parents/grandparents. I might get my sister a funny cheap present from Poundland/b&m but that’s it. We have lots of fun and play games, have some drinks, music etc..... it doesn’t have to just be about presents, it’s about memories x

Melyn Sat 05-Oct-19 09:53:47

We're both in agreement that it's too much to do this, it's left up to me to find the gifts and I just don't fancy it again because it's so stressful. I've asked people to write wishlists but it's gone in one ear and out the other so I'm left clueless again for the 3rd year running and dh doesn't have a clue. I've asked MIL what she wants and she'll either say "oh nothing" or something so ridiculously expensive like diamond earrings or a new camera. SIL is reasonable with her gifts thankfully and doesn't expect much since she gets spoiled by MIL and FIL. And FIL doesn't want anything either and dh's Aunties and Uncles I have no idea. I LOVE shopping for the children in the family, what you can get for £20 now is incredible but adult presents are harder for me to choose amd it's just a waste. I bought dh's Aunties a digitial photo frame, spent a week choosing photos and resizing etc and they haven't put it out. Just a bit tired of getting stressed and walking round shops in pain to find gifts.

Mintypea5 Sat 05-Oct-19 09:57:48

I do gifts for my family but there is only my mum, stepdad and brother. The only kids on my side are mine (total of 3 by Xmas as newest due November)

DH family between us and his siblings there will be 7 grandkids by Xmas so it's rather expensive! For the last few years we've just brought for the kids and then do secret Santa for the adults. Works really well honestly

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