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Relationship/family advice

(3 Posts)
Mylittlesunshine25 Thu 19-Sep-19 13:20:14

Hiya, I've never posted before but I wanted to ask advice and see if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Me and my partner have a 18 month daughter together. Through pregnancy and after birth I have suffered with anxiety and depression which has effected my confidence an day to day life. Unable to even get the bus or venture from 'my comfort zone'. I should add my daughter has not suffered as I have an amazing family to support me an lean on when I take my little girl out.

My partner is eastern European and I havent been strong enough yet to fly as a family to visit his family. But have no problem with his family coming to visit us in the UK an staying in our home. This doesn't seem to be good enough and he want us to fly to his home, which of course I understand means so much to him. Flights have been booked for less than a months time, and I said I can try but don't want to let his family down if I can't do it. Also wanted to add his family don't speak English so I cannot communicate with them.
Anyway its came to light that if we can't go now, then he doesn't see us having a future an working out?

What do I do? Do I try and push myself beyond anything I have done? Or do I make it known again how I'm mentally not strong enough to go and see if he's willing to break up our little family?

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do? Please any advice would be appreciated, I feel soo guilty that I may be the reason for breaking up my little angels family. So much pressure

X so sorry for long post x

Sunnysideup321 Thu 19-Sep-19 13:32:43

Firstly if you can't make it on the flight, and he chooses to leave you because of it that is his choice not your fault. I work in mental health and I hope you are trying or seeing someone from the community mental health team regarding your issue.

Secondly, the more we avoid something we are afraid off the more we are teaching our brain that it's right to avoid it so the more we avoid it and it becomes a bigger and bigger issue. I've worked with people with PTSD, although you are different the idea is the same. So imagine the PTSD suffer had a car accident so the avoid travelling in the front seat on the car, with confirms to your brain that the front is a danger. Thus leading to the anxiety being placed somewhere else, for example motorways so then begging to avoid them too until it spirals.

If I were in your position I would start with baby steps. Getting on a bus alone first for 1 stop then try 3. Then take your little girl for 1 stop. It should begin to override that part of your brain the triggers your anxiety until you don't feel danger.

I really hope for your sake you overcome this but I feel your partner putting added pressure on you has made your task more difficult. ❤

Pitterpotter Thu 03-Oct-19 23:00:33

How awful of your husband to put that pressure on you when you feel this way. This is not something that you can be blackmailed out of.
Have you considered hypnotherapy? I've recently had some and can honestly say it's transformed my life (sounds corny sorry!) It's like the previous post suggested, altering how you think in situations we find uncomfortable. If you would like any information with who I used I'd be happy to pass on details if you want to message me. I'm not sure where you are based but I'm pretty sure she offers online sessions wth you

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