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Gifts from Grandmother

(5 Posts)
Melyn Mon 12-Aug-19 11:13:22

Need advice

My MIL seems to want to outdo us as the parents of our son when it comes to Christmasses and birthdays, he's only 2 at the moment so he won't pick up on it yet that his Grandmother gets him more stuff. I've tried opening lines of communication with my MIL about her present buying, but when I've asked her what she's gotten him for his birthday and Christmas she says "wait and see" or whatever so we find out on the day which stresses me out because I personally like to know how much space we'll need for the stuff that's coming into our small house. We got married 4 days after ds birthday so we couldn't afford very much this year, it was mainly books and a bean bag and some cars, MIL asked what to get my son and I said a playhouse. She got him a playhouse, a play kitchen.. and to my annoyance a trampoline that he's 3 years too young for and our garden is unsuitable for a trampoline as it's mostly paving with raised grass which to me is dangerous to put it on so I would have said "don't buy it as we can't put it up" but she didn't tell me what she was getting.. My dh has a 16 year difference between him and his sister, and his sister is REALLY spoiled, she expects everything and rarely says thank you and I don't want the same for ds. I've managed to get her to stop giving him as many toys inbetween celebrations but she does do it occasionally. Both me and dh decided early on that unless it's something he needs urgently it can wait for his birthday or Christmas (we buy things all through the year and put things aside to wrap so we won't panic buy right before the celebration).

Just need some advice on how to approach it again with her as she's not easy to talk to. I understand she wants to treat my ds which we're thankful for but she's really overdoing it. Thanks.

MermaidUnicorn Mon 12-Aug-19 14:56:21

She is excited about her grandson and wants to buy him loads of stuff - it's a very common scenario! I think to a certain extent you have to accept this, but I agree that impressing on your son that he only really gets presents at Christmas/birthdays is a good idea. There is nothing to stop you getting rid of unsustainable stuff to the charity shop (some churches collect toys for families in need etc). However, if she is continuously disrespecting you, your DH needs to speak to his mother, not you. What does he think?

brassbrass Mon 12-Aug-19 15:00:48

Just get rid of anything unsuitable. She can't force you to keep it or use it. If she's not someone who will work with the parents on suitable gifts then let her waste her money.

Pitterpotter Thu 03-Oct-19 23:42:16

Why don't you suggest this year to buy him experiences rather then gifts as he has so many lovely things already and you don't feel he needs any more but their time would be great. This is what I'll be suggesting for my kids this year as the in laws usually clear b&m shelves of all the tatt they can find and wrap it for my kids. They never see them and think that's how to show affection. Anyway this year we will be asking for money towards annual passes and days out to zoo's etc so at least their money is not wasted.

Melyn Fri 04-Oct-19 09:39:18

That's a really good idea pitterpotter, thank you!

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