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Help 40th birthday!

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Bestlife19 Fri 19-Jul-19 21:13:21

Hi I would appreciate any points of view on this.

Hubbie and I are both 40 this yr nearly 5 months apart and thinking of doing a joint party in the middle. I’m not a natural centre of attn person - I even struggle asking a group of people to spend money on a meal to go out for my bday. Think it’s because my bday is Boxing Day so people have always been busy and I feel I’m imposing on their Xmas etc. I do love celebrating other people’s birthdays though. For our 40th I’d be happy having a special night away with hubby & a dinner with a few close friends but I also feel is that a bit boring? I’m quietly confident and love catching up with good friends but don’t love the limelight. I’m probably in a bit of a rut atm so possibly one reason I’m shying away and also a reason why I should have a party....

I had cancer 2 yrs ago and had to have quite a bit of surgery so part of me feels I’m still here, live life to the max and enjoy it & have a party. When I had the cancer some friends were amazing and tbh some were so rubbish it really upset me. I always do loads for others and made me realise some of those relationships only went one way. Some people I didn’t expect anything of did so much & that was lovely to know people are there for you. Honestly it was very eye opening and the people you think are you best friends quite possibly aren’t. So that’s tainted my view of some of my friends sadly and I think can I be bothered with it all.

Hubby very keen to have a party but I worry things like what if people cancel, what if not many come after we take a bar. Should we have it at home but more stress and don’t have anyone to babysit kids out of the house and they’d probably wake up.

Also a lot of our friends have put on a free bar at their 40ths which tbh we can’t afford atm. So feel a little awkward about that. Any views on this?

Other issue is I don’t drink for health reasons - have a long standing health issue alcohol sadly doesn’t work with. I struggle with it not because I was a big drinker but because I did enjoy 2 or 3 glasses of wine on a night out. People still say.. oh what a pity you’re not drinking... even though I haven’t drunk for years! It’s annoying they don’t get that it makes me too bloody uncomfortable even though I have explained so many times. It’s like I’m ruining other people’s nights by not drinking and that’s going to be annoying. Oh what a pity your not drinking on your bday/ you can’t taste this amazing wine etc etc... It doesn’t stop me getting on the dance floor etc but somehow there’s something missing for others if you’re not drinking. How has anyone dealt with this?

So many dilemmas but think I am overanalysing it and I should stop thinking and just have a party?!

Or any other ideas for gatherings to celebrate big birthdays?

Thanks so much! Need to decide if we are doing it and get the invites out if we are! xx

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