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Can't Cope Living With Ex

(2 Posts)
Darkness369 Sun 07-Jul-19 12:17:35

I split with my ex a few months ago (he decided we were polyamorous all of a sudden and began a relationship with someone else). We have 3 DCs under 7, one with SEN. Because I was a SAHM I have no savings or earnings and so until I can get a council property or get things legally settled I am stuck living with him.

He refuses to leave. He is constantly shouting and swearing at me, even when I start crying or refuse to engage. I am on antidepressants because of this situation. I have nowhere to go with the DCs and just cannot cope anymore. He is a bully, but refuses to see it and accuses me of being controlling and abusive. He refused to end the relationship for months, and now he's hellbent on 50/50 custody even though he works and commutes 50-60 hours a week, and sometimes has to work away.

What can I do? I have a solicitor's appointment next week, and counselling, but I just don't see how I'm going to be able to cope living with him. He wants mediation but he is also trying to control how I think (trying to plant doubts about solicitor's capabilities, telling me what I need to say to mine, telling me I won't be able to cope on my own). It's virtually impossible to prove emotional abuse, and I know if the police did get involved he'd say I was the abusive one and an unfit mother.

I am so desperately unhappy.

TheadReaper Sun 07-Jul-19 12:32:52

I'm so sorry OP what an awful situation to be in and what a shitty excuse for a man your ex is. And that's all he is, an ex. I know it's difficult now but remember you are on the road to living your life happy and independent from this scum. I don't have much in the way of practical advice other than don't tell him anything. He doesn't need to know anything you're planning. I just didn't want to read and run but hopefully someone will come along with helpful advice. Just know you aren't alone and you deserve better. Of course he'll tell you that you can't survive without him, because he's a weak man who needs to make you feel vulnerable in order to make himself feel powerful. He's nothing, you're everything so stay strong for yourself and your DC thanks

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