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Barbara Ellen's article about Extreme Empathising in the Observer yesterday....

(38 Posts)
Heathcliffscathy Mon 23-Jul-07 09:45:20

Made me think about Mumsnet....,,2130000,00.html

Heathcliffscathy Mon 23-Jul-07 09:46:51

" If you're female and don't believe me, try standing in a crowded Ladies' and 'bursting into tears' about a man. I guarantee you will immediately be surrounded by a platonic love-scrum of New Best Mates, all hugging you and screaming advice. That's EE - the sweet female urge to help mutated into highly addictive chick-crack, in which you can't stop gnawing at your problems, and everyone else's."

Yup. It's not good.

Gizmo Mon 23-Jul-07 10:00:07


That's bang on the mark...

Of course, there's also the opposing phenomonen, that if you don't have the urge to share your distress over a problem with all and sundry, then you are emotionally immature

flowerybeanbag Mon 23-Jul-07 10:03:41

yes, mumsnet was the first thing I thought of when I read this - ringing lots of bells!

Gizmo Mon 23-Jul-07 10:05:24

So are we saying Mumsnet is basically an online ladies loo?

flowerybeanbag Mon 23-Jul-07 10:08:07

rofl, guess so! Although involves less automatic 'stroking' at first sign of a problem than other forums, to be fair.

Gizmo Mon 23-Jul-07 10:11:22

Yes, Netmums does sometimes feel a bit sixth-form-girls-loo-ish

harrypotterdies Mon 23-Jul-07 10:13:26

or mumsnet is the kitchen and we'are all pissed

flowerybeanbag Mon 23-Jul-07 10:16:46

AIBU is always interesting reading from that point of view - there are often loads of people who leap in saying no YANBU, it's OUTRAGEOUS that your DH/MIL/boss/neighbour/XDH/whatever is doing that.
But there are usually some people who also tell people if they are being a bit daft, or want to know the other side first. Fortunately!

Desiderata Mon 23-Jul-07 10:19:15

I am loving that expression: extreme empathizing

Love it, love it, love it.

EscapeFrom Mon 23-Jul-07 10:20:44

No. Not mumsnet.

Mumsnet atracts the Narrators, not the sheep, and certainly not the angels

Gizmo Mon 23-Jul-07 10:23:45

Well, I'm as guilty as anyone on this, but there also seems to be a very limited range of solutions for people with relationship problems, they are a) get counselling b) leave him/her c)try anti-depressants. Sometimes all three.

And what's worse, I can't think of any better solutions for the sort of problems that tend to crop up there...

Gizmo Mon 23-Jul-07 10:24:48

What's a narrator, EscapeFrom? Is it like a Greek chorus?

EscapeFrom Mon 23-Jul-07 10:27:26

Nope, I am talking about the nativity play of life - we once did a survey here and it turns out mumsnet attracts an obscene amount of ex-nativity narrators!

The angels tend to stick to moggeling threads, and have all left now anyway.

It would be interesting to re do the survey, actually to see if the general population of mumsnet has changed at all.

Gizmo Mon 23-Jul-07 10:30:27

OK, that's freaky. You know what I'm going to say now: me too.

And my middle name is Jane.

It's like fate has Marked Me Out.

flowerybeanbag Mon 23-Jul-07 10:34:33

I also plead guilty to previous narration experience!

EscapeFrom Mon 23-Jul-07 10:44:46

See? See?

Heathcliffscathy Mon 23-Jul-07 11:37:58

it's the aspect I like LEAST about MN in fact.

and I agree if that were all that went on I wouldn't be on here.

didn't narrate. Was the f-ing star.

MadEyemarthamooDy Mon 23-Jul-07 11:48:38

Did narrate. First name Jane. Aaaaargh!

Heathcliffscathy Mon 23-Jul-07 11:52:26


hav eyou been away???

MadEyemarthamooDy Mon 23-Jul-07 11:54:03

I've not been around as much (trying to cut down). Haven't seen you either!

TranquilaManana Mon 23-Jul-07 15:53:42

i was the star too.
course, i was apparently the 'desert wind' in the first nativity i was in...

hi soph. nice to see you. im BORED. fancy a night out?

Heathcliffscathy Mon 23-Jul-07 16:55:38



have multiple free to go out and stay out overnight passes as dh has had and is having untold hols away on his own this summer (well, a week and then a long weekend).

lets do it.

email me.

LoveAngel Mon 23-Jul-07 18:25:24

Extreme empathising. Fantastic phrase! Love Barbara Ellen.

TranquilaManana Mon 23-Jul-07 18:38:47

get out of jail free cards?? well hell honey, why didnt you SAy so??

yes, i will email. ... off to do bath now...

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