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older women with younger man

(20 Posts)
hippychick1971 Sat 07-Jul-07 16:42:37

hi i was wondering what peoples opinions are on women dating younger men. i have always been very keen that any partner should be round about the same age as me. but i have started to get very strong feelings for a man 16 years younger than me. i know he has feelings for me too, but i am unsure of what to do my head says one thing my heart another any advice would be appreciated thanks (blush)

tribpot Sat 07-Jul-07 16:47:41

Depends how old you are, I guess 36? And this guy is 20? Hmmmm ....

trippleshot Sat 07-Jul-07 16:56:33

Depends what you're looking for; fun? wild sex? security? commitment? Of course none of the aforementioned are mutually exclusive when with a much younger man, just a little harder to find.

hippychick1971 Sat 07-Jul-07 17:22:23

i suppose i am just looking for fun, and someone to share some time with and have a laugh. i just worry about the age difference as i know people can be really funny about it. i am divorced and just want something for me and i enjoy his company.

NormaStanleyFletcher Sat 07-Jul-07 17:24:44

MY DH is 7.5 years younger than me (not as big a difference now as it was 10 years ago iyswim).

I have a friend who is living with a man 11 years younger than her.

I don't have a problem with it and people never seem to comment if the difference is the other way round do they?

Young men can be quite young though

cba Sat 07-Jul-07 17:25:08

what can start out innocent and fun, can sometimes turn into something completely for one of the persons concerned. Just be careful

hippychick1971 Sat 07-Jul-07 17:28:05

thnaks for that, i know what you mean it seems quite acceptable for an older an with a younger women. He can be quite immature but also he is very sensitive and caring, i think thats what i like about him he is so different to anyone else , and i suppose he makes me feel younger,

NormaStanleyFletcher Sat 07-Jul-07 17:28:43

If you get them young you can train them up too

NormaStanleyFletcher Sat 07-Jul-07 17:28:54

filthymindedvixen Sat 07-Jul-07 17:31:04

I look at my son who is nesrly 10 and they seem closer to his age than mine...Depends if you just want a shag or if you're looking LTR.
LTR I think forget it.
I had a friend who was in her (very) late 40s and started seeing a 20 yr old. She put up with all osrts of comments and even crap in the news of the world etc because she was ''in lurve and love knows no barriers'' etc etc. 10 years later she is drawing her pension and he is freaked out and 'disgusted' by her. She lost her daughter over it (her daughter was same age as her dh.)

I know 36 is hardly same as my friend but if you are worrying about what people will think, you may be in for a rough ride.

hippychick1971 Sat 07-Jul-07 17:31:26

hi cba i know i have been hurt a lot so my guard is up and i am trying to keep things on a friendly basis at the moment till i know what he wants. I am also not ready for a full on relationship

hippychick1971 Sat 07-Jul-07 17:34:57

I think it will just be more of a physical relationship for a while, i am not prepared to let myself be hurt, but who knows, 12 months ago i would have laughed if someone would have told me i would fall for a guy 16 years younger.

divastrop Sat 07-Jul-07 17:44:27

my dp is 6 years younger than me,and i am of the opinion that human males dont mature emotionally beyond the age of 2 anyway,so i dont think it makes a difference.

if you are only wanting the sex then go for it,have fun with a lad who can go for ages and is eager to please

if you are falling for him then that depends on him as an individual.i have known men in their mid 30's who still lived with mummy and daddy and still acted like little boys,but i have known men in their late teens/early 20's who left home very young and have had to fend for themselves and grow up quickly who are more mature.

lillypie Sat 07-Jul-07 17:54:18

Hi there,I'm 42 and my DP is 28.We've been together for nearly 3 years and have a daughter of 17 weeks.I also have two older boys 24 & 21.
At the beginning I worried about what people would think but the instant connection we felt made it impossible for us not to be together.
This is without doubt the most loving and respectful relationship I have ever been involved in.He is my HERO.
We've already been together longer than most marriages seem to last these days and if it all ends tomorrow I will have had a wonderful time and won't regret a single moment.

hippychick1971 Sat 07-Jul-07 17:58:05

divastrop, thanks for that, i feel better now after all the advice i have been given i expected to get some really nasty comments but not one. i should stop worrying now and start enjoying

hippychick1971 Sat 07-Jul-07 18:00:27

lillypie my marraige was totally miserable with a man my age, so what the heck it could be the start of someting beautiful and if not i am sure it will be fun

lillypie Sat 07-Jul-07 18:51:38

It is fun,go for it be happy

tribpot Sat 07-Jul-07 19:55:44

You can only follow your heart. You will get comments in real life, I'm sure, but god knows we all do. My dh is chronically ill/wheelchair bound and a lot of my friends (or now ex-friends) pretty much think he is 'making it up'. To do anything outside the narrow scope we regard as 'normal' is to be exposed to other people's preconceptions, but as long as you are happy, it really doesn't matter!

RosemaryWoodhouse Sun 08-Jul-07 05:56:56

I suppose it's natural for the man to be the senior partner in the relationship because a man is supposed to bring financial security to the table (which he probably won't attain until late 20s or even his 30s) and a woman brings her womb to the table, and she is most fertile at about 27, so a woman hits her peak appeal in her late 20s and a man in his early 30s.

My sweetheart is 4 years younger than me and I had concerns about that difference, but I figured if I can hold onto my looks for another 5 years he will already have gone into decline by the time he realizes he's stuck with an old hag and will think twice about leaving me. I think you've got to be very careful about an age gap of more than 5 years because you have to make sure you are do-able throughout his 30s.

Shoshable Sun 08-Jul-07 06:07:22

My DH is 10 years younger than me, we were 27 & 37 when we met, married at 31 & 41 knowing that I couldn't give him a child, but he did become a instant Grandfather!

we have been married almost 7 years, and I couldn't imagine being married to someone my age.

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