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Lowri Turner talks about mixed Indian/White babies (well, hers actually) in todays Guardian, what do you all think?

(254 Posts)
WideWebWitch Sat 07-Jul-07 10:43:00

Full article here

She says things like

But we dont live in an ideal world and the way we all look matters. My daughters appearance is an issue to others as well as myself. A (white) friend visited yesterday and having examined the baby, she announced: Shes getting quite dark, isnt she? And I am ashamed to admit that in a reversal of what happens on holiday when you study your skin in the mirror every day hoping for a deepening tan, I too now find myself examining my daughter for signs that her skin is becoming a deeper shade of brown and being perturbed if I find them.

I am at this. My ds is half Indian.


While I genuinely dont think that my not being Indian was a factor that counted against me with my husband or his family, I did underestimate the difference between our cultural backgrounds when we were first together. Our daughter will have to cope with being the product of two very different cultures. She will have to negotiate her own cultural identity, and I know too little to really help her.

I am intending to leave the Indian side of my daughters upbringing to my in-laws. This may seem a cop out, but, frankly, Im too knackered to do otherwise. If I had adopted her, social services would probably whip her away. However, working and bringing up three children, I havent the energy to learn Hindi or make my own lassi

BTW Ive taken apostrophes and quotation marks out as they come out strangely in preview but you get the gist.

mumto3girls Sat 07-Jul-07 10:47:33

Do you find it offensive> I just find some of her comments a little sad and naive..she could have nmarried a white person for instance and her baby could still have not looked like her...did she want a mini-me daughter?

I think it's an awkward subject to tackle and I'm not sure what I think - she seems a little embarrassed. The comments re: Vicki Pollard were crass.

WideWebWitch Sat 07-Jul-07 10:50:29

I thought it was really sad. I don't feel any of those things about my half Indian son, it wouldn't ever have remotely occurred to me, esp the stuff about his skin colour and not wanting it to go darker. It's as if she's saying oh yes everyone who is white is racist whether they like it or not and actually we'd all prefer completely white babies. Which isn't true for me.

I don't know, I saw the subject and thought, oh interesting and read it with increasing surprise and sadness really.

policywonk Sat 07-Jul-07 10:52:03

She's not a terribly bright woman, I think. She has opened her mouth and a lot of rather unfortunate guff has fallen out. Poor child - don't envy her the experience of reading this in 15 years' time.

tuppy Sat 07-Jul-07 11:11:14

what a load of guff. The most upsetting thing is that she has been PAID to write it.

noddyholder Sat 07-Jul-07 11:21:36

She is now and always has been an idiot and this proves it

NKF Sat 07-Jul-07 11:22:26

She does seem a bit unbalanced to me. What on earth did she expect?

Oblomov Sat 07-Jul-07 11:23:14

What a terrible article. She is a bit dim, isn't she.

TransfiguratingLily Sat 07-Jul-07 11:26:53

Yeah, I don't feel that way about my children either. I'm sure her attitude isn't typical. Or she is deliberately trying to spark debate

mytwopenceworth Sat 07-Jul-07 11:26:56

Well I think she is talking bollocks. It may be the way SHE feels and really that is her problem but her belief that we ALL feel like this because she feels like this is bloody stupid. She wants to think everyone struggles with the colour of their children because if she sees otherwise she can't hide from the fact she's a shallow prat.

I don't, never have and never will, give a crap about my husband or kids skin tone and I really object to it being said I must do really, I just don't want to face it. err, no love. It's you that has a problem.

Freckle Sat 07-Jul-07 11:37:40

Do you not think that she is aware that there is still racism in Britain and, by her daughter's skin becoming darker, she is likely to be a victim of that more than are her two blond sons? Which must be a scary thought to a parent. That's how it came across to me.

We were listening to a Michael Jackson cd last night (we're a television-free zone for a couple of weeks, eek) and his track Black or White came on. DS1 was listening to the lyrics and was puzzled by the line which went something like (you can tell I wasn't paying attention!) "If you want to be my girl, it doesn't matter if you're black or white". DS1 said "Why would it matter what colour you are? Surely that would be racist." So I said, well, yes, but unfortunately there are still people around who judge others by the colour of their skin. He was genuinely puzzled by this. Let's hope the rest of his generation are brought up with a similar attitude.

Sobernow Sat 07-Jul-07 11:37:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumto3girls Sat 07-Jul-07 11:44:33

and it's natural for her son to be feeding an 8 week old baby a bottle whilst she's in her carseat?

AlistairSim Sat 07-Jul-07 11:59:06

I couldn't get past the first paragraph where she oh-so-carefully sets out her liberal credentials.

tortoiseSHELL Sat 07-Jul-07 12:02:32

I haven't read the article, but it reminded me of something my friend said - she has 3 boys who are half indian, and she said that it really bugged her that everyone automatically said how like their dad they were, until she met someone else with a half indian half white son, and they were able to say 'your ds1 looks like you, but ds2 is like his dad'. Everyone else couldn't get past the skin colour.

NKF Sat 07-Jul-07 12:03:57

I suppose what she's saying is that was surprised to find out how uncomfortable she having a child with a different skin colour. How utterly awful to be born to her. That was my first thought. And I hope she's untypical.

tortoiseSHELL Sat 07-Jul-07 12:05:55

Ok, have read it now, what a lot of very silly things she says! And tbh, after 10 weeks she can't yet be in a position to know how she feels can she?

NKF Sat 07-Jul-07 12:06:38

I think she might come to regret writing it.

I haven't read it - I can't stand her. She annoyed me with that piece she wrote about gay parents way back. Talk about verbal diarrhoea.

I meant politicians, not parents.

DoubleBluff Sat 07-Jul-07 12:14:21

I thought it was an intersting point of view.
I don't have daughterse and am married to a white man.
She came across as very hhonest IMO.

Bink Sat 07-Jul-07 12:20:39

I wonder whether having split up with the baby's father is more relevant to all this than she says (or even realises)?

As - if you had a much-loved, present, partner, however physically different that person is, your baby's favouring that special person would not be an alienating experience, I think.

NKF Sat 07-Jul-07 12:21:02

Is she not with the father?

Bink Sat 07-Jul-07 12:22:20

She says in the article she's now a single parent - having split up with the baby's father.

NKF Sat 07-Jul-07 12:22:55

That will be hard for the new baby. If LT isn't careful, she could feel very isolated within that family.

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