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Advice from someone

4 replies

Zaramarried16 · 26/05/2018 19:32

There’s loads to say so il get to it.
Me and h together for 12 yrs married for 2. Got 2 kids. Things have always been great never had a worry about the dh he was always upfront and genuine.
After dh got promotion from tools to office things changed!
The working away staying in another city, was meant to be occasional but it’s been for one or two weeks every month for the last 6 months. Also, he would go Monday early morning but this soon changed to Sunday evening. He would buy me gifts for no reason at all.
He always told me working away was lonely and how much he hated it but had to go. When we had our usual evening convs he sounded so down and could barely speak two words to me, this became a normal thing for him and after getting off the phone I’d get the usual text “sorry I wasn’t talkative I’ve got a headache”
More recently his last trip he wasn’t home 24 hrs when he told me he was off again the request came through email on his work phone while we was out.
One of the days working away got cancelled so he now only had to go for one night, so because of this I arranged with me sister for her to have the children so I could accompany him I thought it would be a lovely surprise when I told him he stared out the window thinking he said “I’m trying to figure out how this will work out!” He said which is fine and genuine that I would t be able to check in as the booking would be in his name so I’d have to make myself busy for the day. He then said “ok that’s fine your coming but il change the hotel I usually go to”
Then 2 days later my daughter got a temp so I told him I wouldn’t be leaving her poorly so for him to carry on and we’d arrange another time.
Later that day he told me he was emailed from planning saying he wasn’t needed and that the course he was meant to deliver was cancelled. I told him you’ve made me feel like you never wanted me to go (this was the only way I could ask for a cancellation email without accusing him directly of lying but something felt off! First he said yes in my junk mail then he told me it deletes after so long then he said it’s in his laptop. There’s no email confirming any cancellation!
I love my dh very much and I’ve never felt so confused and unsure, his worked away years ago and never did I have any issues. Please give me some advice.

OP posts:
Zaramarried16 · 27/05/2018 08:14

Djdjjdjd

OP posts:
SadTears · 28/05/2018 01:11

Hi @Zaramarried16

I just stumbled across this board unintentionally and saw your message. It makes me feel so sad for you, particularly as no-one else has popped by yet for you.

I'm probably not the best person to offer relationship advice but wanted to say, I definitely know some of the emotions you are having, because I have had the same thoughts swirling around my head quite a few years ago.

Can you get chance to check his emails properly? On some email servers you can restore deleted messages. If you can do that please make sure you are prepared in case you read something you'd rather not know about.

Can you confide in your sister? Or is there someone else you can trust?

I wish I were better at giving advice, sorry I'm not much use am I? I hope that, whatever is happening, you are OK. Please let me know how you are.

SadTears · 28/05/2018 01:13

Could you perhaps ask Admin if they can move your thread over to the Relationship board? I think you'll get a much better response over there.

Zaramarried16 · 28/05/2018 08:46

Hi. Thanks so much for looking and reading my post I’m new to it but have always read things on here so thought I’d try and get a mutual outlook from someone who don’t know either of us. My sis is extremely suspicious of what I’ve told her but I dont want to spill everything to my family as this is destroying his name without facts even with them I’d want to talk to him and sort it out between us I really don’t think I’d tell my sis or mum if I found out he was cheating I just want some perspective, I feel like I’m going crazy. There are weird things too.
Strange to say it I’m fine, but very confused and Can’t make sense of any of it!
Great - I will move post to relationships. Thanks again and hope your ok. X

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