Pregnant and seeking advice

[Rachelw123]

Hi guys wanting some advice people that are going to be mean don’t bother having an input.

Hi I’m new to all this pregnancy stuff just wondering if you mams could give me some advice as I’ve just made a member and I’ve previously sat and read peoples talks here goes.
I’m 14 weeks pregnant and I’m wanting to know about women letting there partners party?
Where both in full time work, saving for our own house & child ourselves.
My partner wants to go out when all the ‘lads’ go out! I haven’t got a problem with him going out, it’s the fact he blows lots of money for example Boxing Day £280 😳 and he gets that drunk he don’t know where he his, looses his phone ecig money more or less every time he goes out. I didn’t mind it before but obviously our positions have changed as we have to save a lot of money! And I’m also not spending a penny of our savings unless I need to. His friends think I’m stopping him! I’ve said I’m not stopping him it’s the way that he does it, we’ve had miscarriages before this pregnancy and I’ve told him what if you get that drunk and I need you or something happens then what? His friends think I control him, only because there wife’s, partners let them get away with it example there always gambling taking drugs and going out constantly even though they have kids houses etc! there expecting my partner to do the same, but when I question my partner about the money situation, he goes sure we can afford it rachel! Just asking other mams ther opinions and how to approach this situation.

[HappyLollipop]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a partner going out, my DP went out a few times while I was pregnant but the amount he's spending whilst out is beyond excessive he shouldn't be spending more than £50 or limit the nights to once every few months so he can spend more. Your saving up for home and the baby that's what the bulk of his money ought to be going towards, he needs to grow up and realise his days of blowing hundreds a night on are well and truly over! Also the drug taking needs to stop I'm bet a lot of that money went up his nose.

[Rachelwi123]

Yeah I don't mind him going it's just the money issue! I tell him that much money could get us a fridge-freezer etc or something for the baby that they need later on, he didn't understand until I had an argument with him! He don't do drugs anymore for a long time! And he's got a decent job. But his mates are shoving it under is nose and saying I'm controlling! My reply is to them is, it's a part of growing up especially when your Guna or have kids. He even wants my baby to be round these people, I've to him I've had a bad upbringing myself and I will not let my kids be round people like that! His replies his but there my friends, i don't know how to response back to that x

[YerAuntFanny]

Tbh it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.

Try to focus on you and the baby, if he wants to go out getting blind drunk all the time, throwing money away and shoving shit up his nose then he might well continue to do so. You've asked him not to, told him why you don't approve and he's not listening.

For the sake of your child, he wisens up or he leaves.

[Rachelwi123]

I agree with you on the growing up part and the drug taking my partner doesn't take anything other than smokes!!. He wants to binge drink every month and spend lots of money. He's a good person and does anything for me it's more with is friends with the influence and needs to grow up! X

[YerAuntFanny]

Hopefully once you have the baby and he realises how much work it is he'll step up and realise that saving for his families future is more important.

[Rachelwi123]

I really hope so! I've told him that if he doesn't step up to the mark he's gone! There's plenty of women doing it by themselves so I could do it aswell! Told him this multiple times and he thinks I'm getting on it him and I've said no it's a warning/telling you.
We both have had bad upbringing similar history, we haven't done bad at all considering. I've always said my kids will not be round what I've been through. Don't know if this is the right attitude to have but I feel it's right.

[YerAuntFanny]

Rule #1 of being a parent, always trust your instincts.

If you feel that way then it's absolutely the right way to deal with it ;)

[Rachelwi123]

Thank you x

[specialsubject]

Is this going to carry on when the baby arrives?

What do you get out of this? Where will you be if he rolls into a river when drunk? Common darwin award round here and several women have been left with zero because manchild had no insurance.

[Chugalug]

I wouldn't of stood for that..sorry but I wouldn't of been with a man in the first place who was blowing that amount of money on booze ..we would of been too different for it to work ,so I would of ended it before I got pregnant...dosnt sound like he's putting you and yr little one first.needs nipping in the bud or it will continue throu the child's life