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what to expect child arrangement order ??

(9 Posts)
charletteboymum Fri 10-Nov-17 12:54:05

Hi I am currently going through court proceedings for a child arrangements order
Ex has our son for 6 hours spread over two days a week which is supported by his mum .
They used to cancel one contact day every couple of weeks I would rearrange the days and hours so they still had the contact.
During October they only made 6 hours total and then ex mum told me that contact is not going to happen anymore as ex has gone somewhere to work it has now been 3 weeks since ex or his family has had any contact with our son and we are due back in court in 3 weeks
My question is is he allowed to do this ? And what can i expect to happen when we (if he goes) back to court ?

jaimelannistersgoldenhand Wed 22-Nov-17 07:06:00

A court can’t force your ex to see his child. He is allowed to move away. Do you know where he’s moving to? Child maintenance payments (even UK court ordered) are not enforceable in all countries.

charletteboymum Wed 22-Nov-17 10:03:14

Hi thanks for replying I've since been told he's moved to his sister's so about an hour away he has said he can't do contact as he can't afford travel so the social have offered him travel warrants for one day each week next month after court so I'll just have to wait and see what happens.
I had started arranging child maintanance but they can't find him and he hasnt given his up to date contact details to anyone it was his mum that gave social his phone number.
But as I say I'll wait see what happens I won't force contact or maintenance if its not wanted x

charletteboymum Fri 15-Dec-17 14:18:19

An update and I need of some advice
Ex didn't see son and didn't turn up to court
The court decided to suspend all contact untill ex has attended the supervised contact with the social so far he has done.
The court suggested start in contact slowly for example at my mum's house .. this won't work as ex is very aggresive towards my mum and dad so I thought a play center would be better .
The social are kind of suggesting ex having baby over night because he has a cot I would not allow this to happen ex is very violent and aggressive but can put on a good show. He has two older children which were taken into care beciase of exs violence and drug use which he was only allowed to see fully supervised 3 people watching him who he hasn't seen in 4 years but apparently that doesnt matter.

And the supervised contact dates and times keep changing for example it was supposed to be yesterday for 1 hour 30 changed to today which I was okay with but now it's changed an hour and a half later so it ends at dinner time it then takes 40 mins to walk home and which point I would have been stood outside with my other child in the freezing cold ...
So today's going to be fun

So my questions are can i be forced to allow overnight visits and can i be adamant on the days and times of the contact ?

And has any one else been their and it all worked out well ?
I am also moving so that my ex can't get to me the social wants my new address but I am worried that it could be passed on or even ex knowing that I'm moving could set him off trying to find I don't really know what I'm asking I suppose I just need to vent a bit ... but thankyou

Redken24 Fri 15-Dec-17 14:23:41

I don't think overnights should be allowed until he starts sticking to his hours. Do it in a contact centre.

charletteboymum Sat 16-Dec-17 08:03:41

Thankyou for replying I will start looking into contact centres and I'll speak to the social about this too . I think it would be better for little one having the contact in a place where conflict and his safety can be assured .
Hopefully this can be an option as it will also help if ex decides to take a break from contact its more recorded not just my word if we did go back to court in the future

charletteboymum Sat 06-Jan-18 15:21:39

Ex made it to 3 of the contact sessions and social have said that in those 3 hours they have seen all they need and feel that ex is completely fine and we should start working towards overnight contact this was last week ..
I don't think this is right
The social worker had told me how he kept kicking off and seemed very paranoid during the contact but obviously not enough for them to see it as a problem..
I am scared for my baby but no one sees the danger he will be in .
If it goes back to court I don't want to be made out as unreasonable and for a worse contact arrangement.
I am thinking of suggesting contact one day a week in a play area with myself and my mum present and putting in a condition that if he starts to abuse anyone present (me, mum, or workers tgere) through shouting threats physical violence then I will end contact completely and wait to hear from solicitor does this sound okay?
I will not be letting baby stay overnight unsupervised with no one there to protect him and him being too young to try and calm down the situation or get himself to safety I know I can only do this for so long if ex decides to bring me to court.
So should I get in touch and suggest this as contact or what would be a suitable contact arrangment ?
And should I get in touch first ex had told social he doesnt have my number but I'm assuming that his family all still have my number
But Long not sure what I want but feel better putting it all down

SCH1990 Mon 08-Jan-18 18:57:19

I can't give any advice but just wanted to send a hug to you. Sounds like a really stressful time for you xxx

charletteboymum Sun 14-Jan-18 10:45:54

Oh thankyou for hugs x

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