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My disabled friend's child

(20 Posts)
Yurkid17 Sat 10-Jun-17 18:30:09

Hey there i am not parennt yes but will be in the future if i can find a partner. I love children but basically i am disabled so i may not hanlle a child alone if they get naughty.
Now recently i have had problems with my disabled friend (wheelchair user) who has a son who caused problems like manipulating us. Hmmm
Should the 7 year old be watched all time? once when i was alone with him he just took advantage of me because of my disability! Youh opinions welcome.

Squishedstrawberry4 Sat 10-Jun-17 18:31:46

What do you mean manipulated you? Very vague.

Squishedstrawberry4 Sat 10-Jun-17 18:32:15

Took advantage? How?

Waggamamma Sat 10-Jun-17 18:34:28

I'm not sure what you mean? You probably need to give some examples.

I don't watch my 6yr old all the time, he plays in his room or in the garden for long periods by himself and with his 2yr old brother (I check on the 2yr old more often).

pinkblink Sat 10-Jun-17 18:55:58

Why is the fact your friend is disabled relevant enough to make the title?

youarenotkiddingme Sat 10-Jun-17 19:01:42

I think you're asking if a 7yo should have some independence? If he should be able to play alone unsupervised?

The answer is yes to some extent but they are at a funny age developmentally at 7. Some 7yo are far more independent and mature than others?

If he's behaving in a way he knows he can get away with because you and your friend can't intervene due to the nature of your disabilities then I'd say that's naughty - but not really beyond most 7yo who try it on when they can!

FlossyMooToo Sat 10-Jun-17 19:09:40

I dont really ubderstand what you are asking but..

All children manipulate adults/situations at one point ir another.
A 7 yo should be able to play unsupervised for example in their bedroom. That said when DS was that age leaving him unsepervised led to disaster confused

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 10-Jun-17 19:11:19

Took advantage?

CaulkheadUpNorf Sat 10-Jun-17 19:13:53

Do you mean he did something that you/your friend couldn't respond to due to your disability? Is putting something out of reach etc?

Yurkid17 Sat 10-Jun-17 22:19:54

Yes 7yro boy can play independedtly without unsupervised but when i was alone with him he caused havoc like throwing coats at me, made me to get tea but i did not know where tea was, made me take his shoes off, pulled me in the bathroom but i resisted. I am deaf and blind and my friend with MS whe cannot control his son. Manipulating well 7yo wants attention like get us to do tasks rather doing that himself. Is it clear?

Yurkid17 Sat 10-Jun-17 22:22:07

A child taking advantage well that was when he used us to do what he wanted because of our disabilities.

CaulkheadUpNorf Sat 10-Jun-17 22:26:19

He sounds like a child working out what the boundaries are, maybe without adults explaining consequences of his behaviour.

Is there much support in place? My mum has MS and we had a social worker and I had an advocat.

Yurkid17 Sat 10-Jun-17 22:40:59

Oh yes he did that as we live in assisted huusing and his father with MS actually lives in one bedroom flat which is not designed for a child to sleep in but he sleeps in the sofa with his father. he thinks he has the right to live with his dad but the answer is no he only stays for weekends or holidays from school mostly although apparently he is the problem as i do not think adults have taught him boundaries as he does not understand the consequences. Support for MS i think so as I know my friend has MS nurse coming sometimes ashis MS is slowly getting worse so he is not able to look after his son alone.

CaulkheadUpNorf Sat 10-Jun-17 22:43:40

It doesn't sound like he is the problem. If he hasn't been taught boundaries/consequences etc that isn't his fault. That is a failing of the adults around him.

Branleuse Sun 11-Jun-17 12:29:12

He sounds a bit of a monkey, but nothing particularly bad for a seven year old. All kids play up sometimes. Its up to the parents to be able to handle it when it arises

Chaotica Sun 11-Jun-17 12:37:13

Maybe this boy just wants to hang out with his dad. And pushes boundaries occasionally. Both sound normal from a 7 year old and remember that he might not see his dad as disabled, just as his dad.

Yurkid17 Sun 11-Jun-17 14:35:49

Ok then i guess you are right i just need more understanding although he is frustrated that his dad cannot play with him due to his conditions so he set me up to play instead although i was reluctant to play along. because i can stand and use my limbs but no sight or hearing.

CaulkheadUpNorf Sun 11-Jun-17 18:55:15

When you talked to your friend, did he speak to his son?

Yurkid17 Sun 11-Jun-17 20:34:14

Talking to his dad? Well i have tried many times but the boy just does not always follow the demands and he does not care what he is told not to do that. I did try to help his dad to distract his son from hurting him. Thiings just did not work out even thhough the boy is hyperacti<e.

Branleuse Mon 12-Jun-17 17:17:18

unfortunately the fact that you and the kids dad have disabilities, doesnt mean children wont behave like children. Its worth bearing this in mind if youre thinking of having children in the future, because ALL children will be challenging at times and the responsibility will be on you to handle it

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