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Learning to drive - weekend lessons are like hen's teeth!

(3 Posts)
JustJaneForNow Tue 16-May-17 14:19:05

So I started learning to drive just over a year ago. For a number of medical reasons, this was the first opportunity I had to get my mits on a provisional licence, at the grand old age of (then) 45.

It was a nightmare to get weekend lessons. I couldn't do after work as I am two hours away from home working in London, so I get home too late to have evening lessons.

Anyway, I finally found someone, but we just didn't gel. I really should have stopped my lessons with him earlier than I did, but I felt (a) trapped because I knew weekend lessons were so hard to come by and (b) I didn't want to give up and feel like an idiot even more than I already did.

The upshot was that by the time I ended my lessons, the whole experience had really damaged my driving self-confidence (and my self-confidence generally, actually). I've had more than 40 hours of lessons and whilst I never had an accident, I wasn't anywhere near ready to tackle roundabouts, let alone dual carriageways. My home town is absolutely overloaded with traffic and I found the whole thing terrifying.

I'm not stupid (I passed my theory test no problem), but now, I'm stuck because there seems to be nobody else offering lessons at the weekend (I've spent so much time on the phone trying to track somebody down) and I really, really need to to do this before it becomes a bigger 'thing' than it already has. I don't know what to do. I feel so useless, frustrated, angry with myself for just not getting it. None of it makes sense - I can't 'feel' when I need to change gear, I can't take in all the information that is out there (signs, pedestrians, buses, traffic lights etc etc). I can do slow things - turns in the road, parallel parking etc, but anything above 30 miles an hour is information overload.

My provisional licence runs out in 2018, and then I have to re-apply (because of the medical reasons). I have a feeling if I don't do this soon, I never will

I just feel like a fool, and so very lonely with all of this.

I know nobody can solve my issue. I just needed to get it out of my head! I've been told (in a jokey way) that until you learn to drive' you're not a proper adult, and that has stuck with me for so long, it's become a damned mantra now.

Can anybody give me a bit of a boost?

BackforGood Tue 16-May-17 23:25:14

I don't know how much leave you get from work, or what else you need to use it for, but would it be worth while doing an intensive course over a week?
It certainly doesn't sound like weekly lessons are working for you.

youvegottobekidding Wed 17-May-17 20:21:13

Have you thought about trying an automatic? It sounds like - if you can find an instructor that is - it would really really be a weight lifted from your shoulders.

I've been learning on & off for about 18 mths, in an automatic, I'm 44 (should've done it at 17 but there you go) & I feel like it's a mountain to climb!! I feel so dumb at times. I've failed 2 tests, then gave up. Six months later I found another instructor & slowly getting there, he seems to have more faith in me than I do even if I did get a dangerous on my mock test last week! I've got 6 months to pass until my theory runs out 😳

Don't listen to that rubbish & not being a proper adult until you can drive. My older sister doesn't drive, my mother doesn't. Ask yourself why you're learning. I get a dreaded feeling before every lesson, but I'm ok while I'm driving. I'm doing it for my kids, that's the only reason. I just want my licence, just so I can be able to say, pick up my eldest from secondary school if need be. That's it, it's there if I need it. If I don't pass this 3rd test, I'll try again, and again. It's not the be all & end all.

Seriously, try an automatic, you'll find it a lot easier, I knew I wouldn't be able to clasp the clutch & gears so I went straight for learning in an auto - anything to get me on the road! I wish you well & good luck, don't give up!

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