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Reporting stuff to the police

(21 Posts)
M22 Sat 03-Jul-04 16:11:00

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Fio2 Sat 03-Jul-04 16:14:33

sorry dont have any practical advice. Just want to say god luck and I hope evrything goes ok for you xxxxxx

lydialemon Sat 03-Jul-04 16:23:42

I wish I could help too, but (without knowing the details) I think you are doing the right thing. Hugs from me too.

dejags Sat 03-Jul-04 16:26:26


I don't know what the in's and out's of the situation are but if somebody has committed a crime they need to be taken to task for it - particularly if it is rape (as you intimated).

I have not been through anything like this but have suffered from an abusive relationship. In recent months I finally gathered the strength to stand up for myself and confront the guilty parties. I will not lie and say it has been easy and they have shown no remorse but I do feel stronger in many ways for standing up and saying "you were wrong".


littlemissbossy Sat 03-Jul-04 16:31:04

Sorry, no advice to give, but if you need to know how the police will handle this, you can contact the Victim Support Network see Any enquiries are treated in confidence. Good luck lmbx

M22 Sat 03-Jul-04 16:32:50

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anonmouse Sat 03-Jul-04 16:44:12

I reported a rape, it went to court and he was convicted. It was very hard and seemed to drag on for ages. Have a look at the "my dh assaulted me" thread.

You need to be able to describe what happened to absolute and very clear detail; to say what you did, what he did and why you reacted/didn't react etc etc. You will need to describe the series of events before, during and after - time and time again. This will be compared against his version of events. You will also be expected to remember what you were wearing (if it was a one off occassion)and what he did re clothes etc. IE, You need to be detailed and explicit. Oddly, it gets easier and easier to say the more times you say it. By the end I could give a mechanical account of events; it all felt very impersonal.

There are only 2 of you (usually) who know exactly what happened, as rape tends to be behind closed doors. Like a dirty little secret. This is why I went ahead with it - I knew what he had done and that he was lying and thought he could get away with it. But you have to be very, very sure in your mind about your side of the story and be ready to have it pulled apart. He will be seen as innocent and it is up to you to prove that he isn't.

BTW, I did not report the rape straight away.

HTH. Contact me if you wish.

I have also changed my name.

essbee Sat 03-Jul-04 16:46:26

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ggglimpopo Sat 03-Jul-04 20:42:58

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jampot Sat 03-Jul-04 20:54:03

I would be inclined to report it too - and good luck - we're all behind you on this one..

mummytosteven Fri 09-Jul-04 03:12:48


innonimate Fri 09-Jul-04 03:44:01

I can't really help as nothing that terrible has happened to me and i am so so sorry for you. I can tell you what happened to me when i reported an incident, how the police treated me, the court procedures i am slowly learning etc. tried to get in touch with you by contact another member but your name doesn't exist anymore, have you changed it back.

M22 Fri 09-Jul-04 13:18:41

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Podmog Sun 11-Jul-04 18:49:48

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Blu Sun 11-Jul-04 19:06:09

M22 - I want to say thank you. Whatever happens re prosecution or not, if his name makes a computer go blip sometime now or in the future, you will have helped.

Marina Sun 11-Jul-04 19:07:11

M22, you have done the brave and right thing. I am so glad they were supportive.

M22 Fri 18-Mar-05 16:58:30

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Podmog Fri 18-Mar-05 19:26:20

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Podmog Sat 19-Mar-05 14:47:33

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M22 Mon 21-Mar-05 09:16:46

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Tommy Mon 21-Mar-05 09:34:15

You've started it yourself M22 in your second post! Start by making a list of all the areas where you feel it has affected you and perhaps describe how you feel in each situation.
Good luck - you are really brave

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