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Tips for a new SAHM please!!

(17 Posts)
decafskinnylatte Wed 28-Feb-07 10:56:37

I've finally resigned from my job in the city and from now on will be a full time SAHM to my ds (4) and dd (23 months). I am extremely excited; I've been working at plucking up the courage (and the finances) for months. Also quite nervous. Would be v grateful for any tips that you pros have on frankly anything that makes your lives easier, less stressed and gives you the optimum amount of quality time with the kids & dp/dh. In particular:

- organisation & routine: I have a feeling organisation is going to be the key to this running smoothly...
- cleaning: have seen the fly lady threads on here. Is this the way forward (bearing in mind I'm not the kind of person that gets any satisfaction out of cleaning)? Looks frankly scary.
- home learning: what are those of you with 2007 reception entry pre-schoolers doing & how much?
- ££: hand outs from dh or joint bank account?

I think I am probably over engineering this! (clearly have too much time to think whilst seeing out my last few days in the office).

emmatomATO Wed 28-Feb-07 11:04:45

Just chill a bit decaff...

Enjoy your new found freedom. Who needs routine now!

Clean little and often, as and when you're in the mood - that way there's never a huge amount to be done and it doesn't become a big chore.

Home learning...? Having their mama to play with, read with, go to the park with, just being with will be enough at this age.

££ - that's just something you and dh will work out. Whatever you feel comfortable with. (I have a pension income so can't advise on this, never had to deal with it).

Organisation and routine - whatever you decide it to be. If you fancy a duvet day (for all of you) you can do it now. If you want to organise trips out, you can do it now. Leisurely lunches, afternoon naps, shopping when shops are relatively quiet. It's all yours now!

What I really would advise though, if you havn't done already, is seek out other mums in similar situations either through toddler groups or things like that. It's always nice to have a bunch of buddies to do things with.

Enjoy your time with your children. You'll never get this time again and I'm so sure you wont regret it.

decafskinnylatte Wed 28-Feb-07 11:19:07

!! Yes, re-reading my post - I clearly have my work head still on don't I??

I really cannot wait to properly relax (when I remember how to do it) and enjoy having my kids all to myself.

Thanks for the much needed snap out of it slap emma!

RubyRioja Wed 28-Feb-07 11:32:45

I did exactly this and was a free range mummy for a while . However, I do find I have more time in the evenings with dh and a more sociable time during the week if I do plan my week. I enjoy being able to do vital but dull errands when shops/banks etc are not busy and to set aside a day for really good toddler groups or when other friends are working part time etc.

Flylady is nuts, but it is about doign the minimum you can get away with (to free up more time ), but I agree we are a strange cult!

One warning, I did find myself doing a lot of shopping for adorable toys and baby clothes when I had more time on my hands. I went so OTT that dd3 has had no new clothes as we are still taking labels of the original ot .

Deffo go joint account - raising your dcs is a joint effort!

whiffywarthog Wed 28-Feb-07 13:00:35

go for the joint account. and just chill for a couple of months until you get your own routine that suits you. if you hate cleaning, do as little as poss!

Spidermama Wed 28-Feb-07 13:06:41

organisation & routine: Don't even try. Go with the flow. That's the beauty of being a sahm. Routine is useful at bed time because you need to get yourself a bit of space in the evening, but otherwise roll with it and them.

- cleaning: Do a half hour tidy once a day when they're in bed. Then make sure your dh/p takes them out for a couple of hours every weekend so you can blitz the place. There's plenty to do on a day to day basis with laundry and wiping up spills. You mustn't overstretch yourself and leave no time for play.

- home learning: This is much more efficient and effective if it's child led. Be open to what they need. They'll let you know and you don't need to impose anything.

- ££: Joint bank account.

Good luck and enjoy it.

MakemineaGandT Wed 28-Feb-07 13:31:45

Hi decaf - I too gave up a highly-paid job in the City to become a SAHM. I have the odd bad day when I wonder whether I did the right thing, but overall this is definitely the best solution for us as a family - good luck!

- Routine - am going to break with the pack a little here and say that I actually like a bit of routine - nothing serious, but mealtimes at (approx) same times, bedtime routine etc, plus a couple of fixed activities that we do each week to provide a bit of structure

- Cleaning - if you can afford it I would stick with a cleaner (at least once a week) assuming you have one at the moment? Even if they just do the basics it is such a help and stops you feeling like a total drudge. I would give up an awful lot of luxuries before giving up my cleaner!

- Home learning - just as and when, nothing serious

- money - def joint account!

Things that make life easier:
- Batch-cook so that you have a few decent family meals in the freezer for busy/can't be bothered days
- Birthdays etc - I look at my diary and buy birthday cards and gifts for two or three months ahead all at once. It means you don't have to keep remembering a load of dates, and it also stops unnecessary spending (on yourself!) when you are out and about shopping for others
- Keep on top of laundry so that it never becomes too much of a burden
- Make sure you get some time to yourself - a saturday morning yoga class, or lunch with a friend, whatever. If your DH wants family time at weekends and objects to you going out alone, make sure you can get out with a friend to the cinema or something once a week on a school night instead

Hmm...will keep thinking - tantruming toddler wants book read!

USAUKMum Wed 28-Feb-07 13:35:07

organisation & routine -- only really needed once DC starts school (and then it really helps for getting out the door in the mornings!) Otherwise relax !! You've just given up a job in the city -- enjoy life. Personally, I also felt the need in the summer I gave up a stressful job to call friends still working and say "I'm sitting in the park, enjoying the sun having icecream. Oh, you have a meeting from hell at 2pm. Sorry. Bye!"

cleaning: as little as possible. they'll only be little once, enjoy them. Get them to help tidy -- my 2yr old tidies away his toy. His big sister (almost 6) sets the table, makes her bed, and generally tidies her room.

home learning: only if they want to and make it as fun as poss.

££: we have a joint account. makes life easier.

But most of all enjoy!!

Nemo2007 Wed 28-Feb-07 13:37:28

Dont be nervous, there are no hard and fast rules. I have a 3yr old,14mth and 2mth old. Basically maintain sanity by trying to do something out of the house every day,whether its a quick walk around block, coffee with friends or trip to park.

franca70 Wed 28-Feb-07 13:41:39

relax?

BarryTook Wed 28-Feb-07 13:42:41

agree - get out of the house every day

without it i imagine i'd go mad

TheBlonde Wed 28-Feb-07 13:45:15

- organisation & routine: depends on how much routine you want really, we have a couple of set activities a week
Agree with Nemo re getting out of the house every day

- cleaning: I hate cleaning so I have a cleaner

- home learning: can't comment sorry

- ££: there was a thread debating this quite recently, I guess it depends on your household budget etc. All money is joint in this house.

USAUKMum Wed 28-Feb-07 14:00:24

Forgot to add that I find my bi-weekly trips to the gym a lifesaver.

decafskinnylatte Wed 28-Feb-07 14:20:09

Thanks all for humouring me in my worrying about not much!! All points (all excellent and most gratefully received) taken on board.

Will try to keep the cleaner & gym membership for as long as possible (think I'd can the cleaner before the gym)and I do have a good network of local mummy friends so shouldn't ever be lacking in social interaction (and there's you lot of course!).

As for routine, you're right, I should just go with the flow but make some token gestures towards being organised - batch cooking etc so that all is not a total shambles.

And home learning - am that i even mentioned it!

Franca - what I forgot to mention is I'll have a settling in period as the kids will be in nursery for up to a month (notice period) so will in fact have some time to chill out before SAHMumdom commences (good thing too; am frazzled). Lunch/tennis anyone??

RubyRioja Wed 28-Feb-07 14:21:55

decafskinnylatte Wed 28-Feb-07 14:40:34

sorry. am feeling very smug at the moment. sure to wear off when I realise I can't actually afford to go out for lunch or play tennis anymore!

franca70 Wed 28-Feb-07 16:19:43

decaf, I'd join you for that tennis match .... problem is I can't catch a ball . I wish you a fantastic time with your dc

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