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Advice please

(12 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Angelsmommy Thu 06-Oct-16 18:15:26

Hi all , I've a few months ago come out of a abusive relationship , I was basically used and abused and was not strong enough to leave , anyway a few years ago my little week old baby passed away from MRSA it was the most horrific heart breaking thing to ever happen to me and still kills me every single day , I have never been able to afford a gravestone for my little boy and looking at the prices don't think I ver will , which deeply hurts me , I feel like I've let my little soldier down and he was so so brave , now my question is are there any associations out there that can help with things like this ? As I fear I will never be able to go forward in my life unless his little playground is complete xx

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 06-Oct-16 18:27:30

I'm sorry flowers

I'm not sure about any associations to help, but you can set up payment plans with some companies.

Maybe SANDS would be better able to give advice, if there are any charities they would certainly know about them.

Angelsmommy Thu 06-Oct-16 18:42:21

Thank you Hun I will look into that , at the moment I'm just finding my feet , but if someone could help this would certainly complete me thank you so much for your advice xx

Heratnumber7 Thu 06-Oct-16 18:45:14

I think you need to talk to someone. Your son doesn't need a gravestone to be happy where he is. Gravestones are for the living, not the dead.

Remember your lovely son your own way, in ways you can afford. If you have cash, use it to help people!e in similar situations to you, not on a piece of stone.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 06-Oct-16 18:45:49

Sorry I couldn't be more help. I had my children cremated so I don't know anything about that side of it all, but SANDS certainly will.

Once again, sorry for your loss flowers

Angelsmommy Thu 06-Oct-16 18:54:23

Herat number 7 why did that come across very cold and horrible I'm only asking for advice why do I need to talk to someone ? I do cherish him in my heart but still nice to have somewhere to visit him etc

Heratnumber7 Thu 06-Oct-16 18:58:09

It wasn't meant to be cold. Sorry I chose the wrong words - typing on tablet with one finger.

I think you need counselling. You don't need an expensive gravestone (they are £££) to be able to visit a grave and remember your son. I think you can remember his legacy longer term and with more happiness if you used the money to do do something in DSs name that would have much greater benefit than a stone in a field.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 06-Oct-16 18:58:36

Herat I didn't notice your post, but I agree, it sounds very cold and unfeeling.

The op wants this for her own reasons, and if it brings her a tiny grain of comfort then who are you to tell her to use her cash to help other people.

If you cant have any empathy then maybe it's best not to post at all.

Heratnumber7 Thu 06-Oct-16 19:01:20

I'm trying to help!!! Obviously choosing the wrong words.

Angelsmommy Thu 06-Oct-16 19:06:17

Aww elsa sorry for your loss too hunni big hugs and not at all Hun all advice appreciated greatly xxx

PresidentOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 06-Oct-16 20:06:52

Hi AngelsMommy
So sorry to hear about your little one.
​We do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

angelcake03 Wed 12-Oct-16 16:29:54

I am so sorry for your loss. My eldest son was stillborn. He is buried in our local cemetery, they have a special area just for babies. We aren't allowed to put up headstones but we, and some other parents, have engraved small pots that flowers can go in on, and some people have small engraved statues. From a purely financial point of view, these options are a lot cheaper, but still look lovely. But I do understand you wanting a headstone, to me it was an acknowledgement of my son's existence. Do look after yourself, and try to be kind to yourself xxx

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