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Can I ask why you don't put DC's photos on FB?

(26 Posts)
backonthewagon Sun 08-May-16 09:04:53

Assuming there are no child protection issues and your FB profile is private so only friends can see posts? I have never considered not putting them on before but am I missing a really obvious reason why you shouldn't?

Jenijena Sun 08-May-16 09:07:45

Because I'd like the photos to belong to me...

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ElspethFlashman Sun 08-May-16 09:12:52

Because they have no choice in the matter. When they become teenagers they may not appreciate that your 200 random friends has seen his own personal growing up album.

I want my kids to be able to decide for themselves what Internet presence they want. They can't do that if you've decided for them.

I have friends who put their kids up literally every week. Several photos as a time (cos god forbid we'd miss out on a particular angle of them winning that poetry competition). That's literally hundreds of photos of them per year. I think it's incredibly arrogant to assume they won't be slightly peeved one day.

Also, all photos on FB are public property. Many of the most popular baby/kid memes have been nicked from people's albums - often by their "hilarious" friends who share it on Reddit for laughs. And then it takes on a life of its own and it's out there forever.

NataliaOsipova Sun 08-May-16 09:13:13

I don't. I wouldn't say I'm hugely uptight about safety, but:

A) because you actually don't have much of an idea how "private" the private setting is
B) because they (DC) don't have any say in the matter and might not want their lives recorded for posterity forever
C) I don't think that many people are honestly that interested! I would show/send pictures to people who I think would like to see them, so don't feel the need to plaster it all over the internet. Maybe I'm a dreadful person, but I find it pretty tedious to see endless pictures of other people's children in the course of an ordinary weekend ("fun at the park!" sort of thing!) so can only assume that most of my FB friends would feel the same way about mine.

Mind you, I'm not a big Facebooker in any case, as I'm just not very comfortable with everyone I know knowing what I'm doing all the time. So it may just be me!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Sun 08-May-16 09:14:34

DS can decide what images of himself he wants online for all eternity to be used, reused, altered etc for shits n giggles by anyone at all.

NataliaOsipova Sun 08-May-16 09:14:39

Crossed post - and you put it better than I did ElspethFlashman!

RaeSkywalker Sun 08-May-16 09:16:00

What Elspeth said.

Merrylegs Sun 08-May-16 09:20:59

I used to. And then my kids got old enough to say 'please don't'. So I stopped. If I put a pic up now (usually a holiday snap) I ask them first.

Randomposter Sun 08-May-16 09:23:41

Because my kids are too young to decide whether they want their childhood splashed all over the Internet - I'd never do that to them. I find it really sad that so many of my friends stick every move their kids make on Facebook, I've even had a friend post pictures of her DD on the way to A&E with a bump she received from falling off her bike! I mean Jesus Christ, is nothing sacred anymore?
It's beyond tacky.

NicknameUsed Sun 08-May-16 09:25:23

Exactly what Elspeth said.

GinnyMcGinFace Sun 08-May-16 09:33:28

Yes, same as Elspeth. Our children are 20, 28, 9 and 8. The older ones are happy with the odd holiday picture but I tag them and they have the review feature so can tell me if they see it and hate it (they never have) but I don't generally post ones of the little ones. Sometimes ones from behind or whatever but not a whole album of them, I like that to be private.

I am always a bit shockhmm when people post their entire wedding album on FB too. Some things are lovely private I think.

PinkParsnips Sun 08-May-16 09:42:55

I used to post photos but then someone shared a photo of my DD and I couldn't find out who did it (must have been a friend) or more importantly who they shared it with and I thought my security settings were tight so I never posted another photo after that.

ChicRock Sun 08-May-16 09:45:05

Because honestly, unless they're very close family, everyone is bored shitless by pictures of your child.

Tamsynburton1 Sun 08-May-16 09:45:29

I choose not to put pictures of my DD on Facebook or any other site because although it is private some of my friends on there are no longer in my life and so they wouldn't see my child normal so why would they all over Facebook. If someone is a part of my child's life then I send them all the pics they want, I just choose not to share them with everyone I know/knew.

Ludwaysl Sun 08-May-16 09:57:31

I do put an occasional pic of my DC on, but just very tame ones of them smiling or doing an activity. I've had my fb nearly 10 years now and I'm glad I haven't done anything more than that. DS is 14 now and pictures of him at 4 could be super embarrassing for him, lol.

Apparently a couple of his group of friends trawled around the social network accounts of many parents and have been copying photos of the group and they've all had a really good laugh. They've even found a pic of their form teacher in a lesbian embrace on My Space. That's flown around the school apparently. Not good to leave these things out there.

MessyBun247 Sun 08-May-16 09:58:50

As soon as you post a photo, that's it out there, you can never get it back, no matter how good the privacy settings are. You just don't know who exactly is looking at it.

I've seen people post videos on FB and they get say 20-30 likes,yet beside that it says 'viewed 4000 times'. So there is soooo many people looking at what you post, way more than you probably realise and it scares me a bit blush.

Privacy really is sacred these days, nobody needs to know what everyone else is doing all the time and I just think it will get worse as the years go on.

And I also think kids should be old enough to say whether they are ok with their parent putting up a picture or not, kids are people too and should be given the choice.

BertieBotts Sun 08-May-16 10:03:15

I find it weird that anybody is judgy about it TBH.

I understand the argument that the DC are too young to decide but I don't personally think it's that big of a deal. It's a convenient way to share pictures.

Videos with 4000 views are not set to friends only unless somebody has thousands of friends.

Nikkinackienoo Sun 08-May-16 10:08:49

I do the odd of the youngest but recently I saw an old school friends child in the local supermarket with his grandmother. I haven't seen this school friend for years in real life and it freaked me out a bit that I knew this kids name, age and the school he goes to and I knew he was with his grandmother all because of photos shared on Facebook.

ElspethFlashman Sun 08-May-16 10:43:31

Bernie Viber is also a convenient way to share pictures.

with close family and close friends

If they're neither one nor the other, then why share pictures at all?

Why would I share pictures of my kids with people like (for example) that guy I worked with 5 years ago, or that girl I went to school with ???

Jenijena Sun 08-May-16 11:27:14

I have friends who use Facebook as a photo album and don't back up photos anywhete else. Facebook could close down tomorrow. We don't pay for its service, so it could just announce 'we're closing'.

I find it odd that people trust a service they don't even pay for to back up their photos.

And if there's one thing worse of people putting loads of pictures of their kids one very posture imaginable, it's using the timehop feature to share it all over again... If it wasn't interesting first time, it's not second/third time round either...

PinkParsnips Sun 08-May-16 17:43:09

Oh yes agree re Timehop, what a bore!!!

BertieBotts Sun 08-May-16 20:06:24

It isn't convenient for me to download a new app or to ask all of my friends/family to. Neither do I want to fill my friends' phones up with random pictures they might not even want? They can scroll past on fb.

If somebody only posts "boring" stuff then unfriend them. confused

NerrSnerr Mon 09-May-16 08:54:33

I can't be arsed to post lots of photos on FB because I'm lazy but I do periodically put the odd picture of my daughter on. I think it's a good way to share pictures. I do find it surprising that lots of people don't understand the different privacy settings, there's a lot of info online about choosing the right privacy settings and what each one means.

Each to their own I think. If I found someone's newsfeed boring I would delete them.

backonthewagon Wed 11-May-16 09:39:10

People that don't because they no longer own the photos once posted on FB, do you put pics of yourself on there?

Jenijena Thu 12-May-16 21:45:22

Very few.

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