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Tips on Getting Intimate With Your Husband

(19 Posts)
Lethal Mon 24-May-04 23:54:51

Someone emailed this to me yesterday - I'm speechless!!!!!!! (Remind me to set my alarm clock tomorrow morning so I have time to do my hair, apply my makeup, and cook him a hot breakfast before he goes to work).

This is an actual extract from a sex education school text book for girls, printed in the early 60's in the UK, & written by a woman!

"When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired
husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate
relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him.

If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's.

When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining

It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care
products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."

Levanna Tue 25-May-04 00:14:28

Hahahaha. No, really?!

colinsmommy Tue 25-May-04 00:40:13

Wow--What a bad wife am I.

bloss Tue 25-May-04 05:51:51

Message withdrawn

papillon Tue 25-May-04 07:55:46

congress!! never heard it called that b4

Flip Tue 25-May-04 07:58:18

Don't we all do that already?

coppertop Tue 25-May-04 08:08:05

Wonder what they meant by "Unusual practices"? So if we're registering our disapproval at such practices does that mean we leave out the "small moan" at the end???

LOL at "his moment of fulfilment".

SoupDragon Tue 25-May-04 09:36:16

"register any reluctance by remaining silent" Not by pushing him away and saying "**** off you pervert!" then?

motherinferior Tue 25-May-04 10:15:12

I am DEFINITELY not getting married

Tissy Tue 25-May-04 10:27:46

Sounds like a wind-up written by a man- did they reference the actual book, so we can check our libraries

NomDePlume Tue 25-May-04 10:27:56

PMSL ! What a load of classic old school cobblers ! "Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's" OMG !!!!

Cam Tue 25-May-04 10:28:35

I like the face cream and hair rollers being "shocking to man last thing at night" Fantastic!!

two Wed 26-May-04 13:30:38

What a scream!

Actually,was remarking to husband the other day how bizarre to think that all the stuff he and I share in the way of household chores would be exclusively done by woman and she then had to prepare his breakfast while he sat by reading paper!!!! WEIRD!!!

This actually describes my FIL about 30years ago and deep down I think my MIL thinks it's an acceptable way to do things. YEAH RIGHT.

I never witnessed this myself, cos my parents did have a very equal marriage (no nonsense mother, arty dad!) sure that this extract pretty much describes state of play in 60s.

Sadly tho, while my husband remembers seeing a sex manual in line of 'how to have better sex' (which my husband believes should have been 'how to have sex' judging by his mother's occassional unenthusiastic remarks) I think when women get a crap deal, they fight back in the bedroom. What man would really enjoy someone 'doing their duty'? It's grim all round. So I think both parties suffered.

It also amused me that my FIL is a socialist to the bone but when it cmae to equal rightsin his marriage and surrender of power - FORGET IT!

juniper68 Wed 26-May-04 13:51:07

I don't think it's a hoax as I've seen this b4, I think it's from a how to be a good wife book or something not a sex ed book? I may be wrong though, it could be an old woman's own lol

fairydust Wed 26-May-04 15:59:46

i do this already - doesn't everyone else

Blu Wed 26-May-04 16:04:11

Such submission is downright pervy - an 'unusual practice' in it's own right!....mmmm, an exciting role play.....

albert Wed 26-May-04 16:06:15

Ooo congress, must try that one!! Not too sure about the obedient bit though, makes us sound like a dog or something!

littlemissbossy Wed 26-May-04 16:10:34

OMG LOL I can just imagine my mil living by this rule book!!! she still regularly reminds me of how she used to get up at 6am to be ready to prepare fil's breakfast by 7am!!

BitOfFun Mon 27-Oct-08 01:13:48

Found this old thread and had to bump it for us newbies!

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