How to deal?

[lilproblem]

We babysit our niece a lot and while that's fine, I'm having trouble disciplining her without thinking I'm coming across as evil. She's my DH's niece so I don't feel as comfortable telling her no or telling her to go to bed etc. She's a little spoilt, used to getting what she wants, eating pizza for dinner instead of proper food, etc. Thing is she is now with us two-three times a week. When I've been stricter before she's made comments like "I like auntie so and so, she's not strict with me" and I feel so embarrassed when she does. Basically I'm being outdone by a six year old! I want to get along with my in laws and sometimes I think oh God, will they think in being mean for telling her she needs to eat dinner before that chocolate? Because if I do she runs and tells them. My in laws (FIL and MIL) have told me I can be strict but whenever I am the child finds a way to get me back! I know I need to grow a pair but I don't want to be the evil b----! How do I manage her?

[PurpleDaisies]

Be firm but fair. Tell her what you want her to do, tell her what will happen if she doesn't do it and follow through with what you've threatened. It's your house and when she's in your care you are totally allowed to make her follow your rules. I think you're right when you say you need to grow a pair!

[PurpleDaisies]

Enforcing discipline doesn't mean you're an evil bitch-it means you care enough about her not to let her run riot. Think about the teachers you respected and liked most in school-I bet it wasn't the ones who just let everyone do what they wanted to do.

[lilproblem]

Thing is everyone else (apart from DH) let's her do what she wants so I feel like by being strict I am basically being a cow when she's used to treating our house like a fairground. Her parents are strict with her when needed tho.

[PurpleDaisies]

You're not doing her any favours at all by letting her "treat your house like a fairground". Honestly, it won't make her like you less.

[lilproblem]

I know, to be honest I'm more worried the in laws will see me as being mean when actually it's generally accepted and said that she is spoilt