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loneliness

(13 Posts)
Avpixie27 Fri 18-Dec-15 11:19:13

I never knew that after having a baby id be completely on my own. My partner works all day so if im not sat with my son im just alone.

BagelSuffragette Fri 18-Dec-15 11:28:34

I'm sorry that you feel alone. It's a huge adjustment for you, mentally and physically when you have a baby and difficult if you're used to working and being out of the house.

How old is your baby? Can you join any mother and baby groups in your area? Facebook groups are a good way of finding out what's going on. There might also be things run by the council so have a look on their website. You could also ask a health visitor and look at any posters hanging up in church halls or your GP surgery.

blobbityblob Fri 18-Dec-15 11:34:07

Yes, I know what you mean. Suddenly you're without work colleagues, you're not as free to go along to the things you used to and you've got 10 hours to fill with someone who doesn't make conversation yet.

Do you know anybody else at home with dc? That helps. Once my baby got a bit bigger I just started going out, somewhere, anyway, every morning. Playgroups, soft play, the park. I found that helped. And gradually you get to see the same faces there and maybe even make a few contacts to meet up with.

I think those early days are the most like that though. As they get older you sort of have to get them out and about to burn off energy.

If you are feeling awful, maybe mention it to your HV at the drop in centre. Mine paired me up with someone, who was really nice and we went to groups/shops together after that. I didn't know anybody in my town with a dc and had no family nearby. Everybody I knew was at work. You've sort of got to build up some new things to do.

I hope you're ok.

Avpixie27 Fri 18-Dec-15 14:10:37

Sadly atm mother and toddler groups are closed for christmas and when i look outside its raining so i cant go to the park or for a walk as i come home like a drowned rat. Hes 9 months now so has loads of energy but theres only so many times you can play peekaboo before you go insane yourself.

blobbityblob Fri 18-Dec-15 14:23:51

My sympathies. It's hard. Bad mother that I am I used to watch murder mysteries and tell dd the bodies were having a rest. It gets easier when they can do things and talk to you. Then you have a little mate. I'd forgotten about school holidays though. They were grim with everything closing. Window shopping?

Avpixie27 Fri 18-Dec-15 14:54:07

Its just the social interaction i miss, from working in retail having regular conversation to going without seeing an adult for days on end is strange. It wouldnt be so bad having a local group or even just a single person to talk to about random things like how rubbish tv is getting.

HazelOrBigwig Fri 18-Dec-15 15:15:55

Can you go back to work pt?

I couldn't stand being at home ft with my DD, I tried it for 6 months and then had to have 2 or 3 days back at work, and she loved nursery.

I'd always thought I'd love being a sahm, but actually it really isn't for me.

Would this be possible for you?

blobbityblob Fri 18-Dec-15 15:19:22

I know what you mean. I took a Saturday job in the end. Then I added one day in the week. My dm used to come on a Wednesday to take dd then when she couldn't any more, we went to using a nursery. I don't expect I made much money on the Wednesday, but it just got me out without too much change on dd. Are you planning on going back to work?

It's funny really. I used to sit at work praying for the day when I could be at home and not have to go. Then when it happened it wasn't how I thought it would be.

Avpixie27 Fri 18-Dec-15 15:28:34

I have been contemplating going back to work mainly for the extra money, but i was being victimised by an employee and had threats when i was pregnant so have been having panic attacks about it.

HazelOrBigwig Fri 18-Dec-15 16:19:53

Oh how horrid OP. flowers

No wonder that's not a great option.

New job? Voluntary work 1 day a week?

I really hope things get better. x

blobbityblob Fri 18-Dec-15 16:34:43

That sounds horrible op. Maybe somewhere small might work with not too many colleagues to start with?

HeadDreamer Fri 18-Dec-15 16:38:10

It will soon by christmas and then the new year. Are there lots of baby groups in your area? Have you looked at sites like mums in the know? How about the children centre?

But tbh, I hate SAH. It's very boring.

Avpixie27 Fri 18-Dec-15 17:20:29

Im looking to go back and just earn a paycheck but where i live jobs are few and far between. Im hoping in the new year that mother and baby groups start up quicker.

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